Thanks to people who commented on the actual story or shared feedback directly! It definitely helped with both how I already felt about the story, and see where I could make some changes in the future.

I updated the story with a few of the changes. Toned down the violence just a tiny bit, added a bit more padding between it and the sex stuff, added more sensory descriptions to a couple places and tightened up a few things. It's not a huge change but I'm happy with it.

I've also decided to write additional chapters. The first chapter intentionally leaves a lot of mystery and unexplained things, so I do want to get into those. Thank you for everyone who has supported thus far!