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New Year Update
2 years ago
It's been a long time since I've done an update so I figured it was overdue.
2022 was by far the hardest year of my life. I don't like to discuss personal things publicly, but I know some amount of transparency is necessary to not leave people scratching their heads and frustrated.
I am still struggling a lot. My mental and physical health has been a constant fight. Without going into too much detail it's been difficult for me to do even very simple things like go to the grocery store or visit family without feeling ill from anxiety, so I've been isolated even through the holidays and haven't seen anyone for half a year. I lost 30 pounds and half my hair and it's been really difficult to crawl back up from such an intense low. I had thought finally getting my own place would fix so many things. It's hurt a lot to have something I've worked so hard for so long for feel painful and lonely and unfulfilling because I'm unable to function as a normal person would. It was a necessary step, and I don't regret it, because I couldn't even begin to crawl back up if I weren't here.
But if I can do anything to help myself I know that it's getting my work life in check. I'll be making a new tab on my public trello with weekly goals so that I'm not just staring at one big to do list. I'll add the peoples' pieces I'm planning to work on that week to that tab as each new week rolls around on Sunday. If you're feeling antsy and don't see your slot on the current week you're welcome to request/discuss with me being put on the next week's workload, but otherwise if you're fine waiting then the patience is very appreciated.
I know I owe it to everyone who's supported me to get better, and I hope better transparency and accountability in the new year will be a good first step. I'll have to take a handful of new pieces each month to stay on top of bills but I'll always be working on backlog stuff alternately.
If anybody is interested in a refund I can discuss that too but I would like to offer the option of setting a deadline like 'I would like a refund if my art isn't finished by x date'. I'm definitely alright discussing deadlines.
I'm hoping this can be a step in the right direction to feeling some level of basic functioning, and maybe some other pieces will fall into place if I can get this first and most crucial one in. I've been in a really dark place and I don't want to make the people who have supported me feel burned by staying trapped in this cycle of complete non-function.
Thank you as always to those who have helped me make it this far. I wouldn't be able to even make these first steps without that support.
2022 was by far the hardest year of my life. I don't like to discuss personal things publicly, but I know some amount of transparency is necessary to not leave people scratching their heads and frustrated.
I am still struggling a lot. My mental and physical health has been a constant fight. Without going into too much detail it's been difficult for me to do even very simple things like go to the grocery store or visit family without feeling ill from anxiety, so I've been isolated even through the holidays and haven't seen anyone for half a year. I lost 30 pounds and half my hair and it's been really difficult to crawl back up from such an intense low. I had thought finally getting my own place would fix so many things. It's hurt a lot to have something I've worked so hard for so long for feel painful and lonely and unfulfilling because I'm unable to function as a normal person would. It was a necessary step, and I don't regret it, because I couldn't even begin to crawl back up if I weren't here.
But if I can do anything to help myself I know that it's getting my work life in check. I'll be making a new tab on my public trello with weekly goals so that I'm not just staring at one big to do list. I'll add the peoples' pieces I'm planning to work on that week to that tab as each new week rolls around on Sunday. If you're feeling antsy and don't see your slot on the current week you're welcome to request/discuss with me being put on the next week's workload, but otherwise if you're fine waiting then the patience is very appreciated.
I know I owe it to everyone who's supported me to get better, and I hope better transparency and accountability in the new year will be a good first step. I'll have to take a handful of new pieces each month to stay on top of bills but I'll always be working on backlog stuff alternately.
If anybody is interested in a refund I can discuss that too but I would like to offer the option of setting a deadline like 'I would like a refund if my art isn't finished by x date'. I'm definitely alright discussing deadlines.
I'm hoping this can be a step in the right direction to feeling some level of basic functioning, and maybe some other pieces will fall into place if I can get this first and most crucial one in. I've been in a really dark place and I don't want to make the people who have supported me feel burned by staying trapped in this cycle of complete non-function.
Thank you as always to those who have helped me make it this far. I wouldn't be able to even make these first steps without that support.
The next part with struggling; very similar to what I had to go through as well.
But then finding those steps in a different direction to just move to a better place, I have found mine as well. Not the same, but both of us are finally getting a handle on the chaos that is life and how hard and difficult it has been for both of us.
What I will be doing, I won't say (As there are personal reasons). But in general if all goes well then it can be seen at a future point.
It takes one little step at a time to work on improving, setting small goals that you can hit, as simple as getting laundry done or taking a brief walk around the block. You can do it.
Wishing you the best!
I really hope 2023 will be a better year for you 💕
I know, when we are really in the dumps sometimes not even encouragement helps, as it can feel as if we are tricking others or being patronized. So please, don't take this the wrong way, when I say you are a god damn fantastic artist, which shows a great commitment to your craft and that you are an inspiration to many of us.
Furthermore, if I can offer a small advice, THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FREE TO IGNORE, star with small things. Don't try to tackle every thing at once but establish small, repetitive goals every day/week. Even cleaning the house will do. And take some time to yourself, one hour a day/week, away from work, drawing etc, to do what you want, without expectations from anyone.
Talk to people about your difficulties. And if you feel really badly, BY ALL MEANS, seek professional help. I have been to several psychological sessions in my life. It helps a lot.
I hope you can surpass this hurdle in your life and to keep seeing you around the site.
Stay strong.
Best wishes to you as well! I really feel for anybody who can relate to the experience, it really is a constant fight.
I wish that everything you've planed came to livein 2023! small steps is really helpfull and the fact that you decided to start is allready big step on it's own!
take it easy! don't push yourself to the limit!
i belive in you!
I really hope things will be better for you this year, one step at a time. Your art brought so much joy to me and so many other people, and you deserve to get a bit of serenity yourself. You got this!!
Please take the time you need, I hope this year things turn around for you!
It's so hard to pick yourself back up but it sounds like you're headed in the right direction and I hope 2023 is your year ❤️
If any of your clients do happen to ask for a refund I wouldnt mind taking their place so it's not a loss to you! Your work is incredible and work the wait in my opinion
There's a lot of damaging and useless crap that people are overloaded with, and sometimes these lows actually help one find out what's important and what isn't, which helps with working out the priorities and regaining of control.
If you haven't done so already, do yourself a favour and consider not watching/reading the news/TV/streaming programming anymore. They're all such rubbish nowadays, and designed to be addictive.
You have my positive wishes for the continued regaining of your energies.
You are strong, you should to know that <3
Feel the same things after all the losses i've been through
I sympathize with you <3
don't forget that the thought that nothing will save you is not true. I'm sure you can handle it. I hope you go to a specialist who helps you cope with your condition.
if you get lonely, i'll be glad to talk with you
You've got this. I know a lot of people believe in you.
never forget that you are a wonderful person, an artist, a friend. You are not alone or abandoned. I really want you to feel better!!!
you're very strong and you're still fighting. You can handle it even if you don't believe it. We believe. thank you for your wonderful creativity. your art is a treasure given to this world.
<3
*supportive hugs*