After nearly having a break down and cutting my vains open and nearly got the cops called on me,,and nothing i say well every get my family to back off and i notice i have not said much mainly talking to my self as i type in second life or at night when im lonly..big shock... i desided to stop talking all together,,as wired and oddd it sounds,,,and maybe sounding im trying to get eyes on me,,,.im not,,i just don't wanna talk no more,,,,if i cant kill my self i may as well pretend im not part of this world....i wanna die,,but 2 people wont let me,, and no its not my family they kinda gaving fuel to this flame here,,,,so im doing a vow of ...... in short im not talking in rl no more,, and i wont eed to practice since i normality had to force my self to talk,, i desided i only talk if one of 3 things,,but nothing else... and yes after i was fanly drawing got my self outta my runt my ever loving family put me back in,,,,,if i do someone how die,,,,i want my items i personal own to Shy wolf,,..that my pc my books and my char shadow fox Roy ..look im not sure how you guys gonna take this or even read this, but if you don don't worry about me,,, like shy wolf said those that cant adapted well have to die,,or something like that,,,and i cant adapted,,all i can do is shut up and wait .....wait for what,,,,no idea,,,, just to let you know i have done mistakes in my life,,i have hurt people ,,living breathing people,, i have stolen food,, and i learn form them....i have,,,,but my family just so,,keep throwing the fact im not blood in my face,,,,over and over and money is the only thing they understand and take form me,,with out a job,,i have none,,with out a commission none clearly took,, i have none..by the end of this year and a month later il be homeless and they wont care,, i know there those who do,,,but there clearly nothing you can do for me..i know drama drama drama,,,,,,who needs it not us,, ^^
i wish my fur mom was here,,i can always draw after talking to her,,lets see any6 thing else to cover?..well im going to try to draw but most likly fall asleep inght5 livign room coner again,,,,im wondering did i fuck up that badly,,,just for living,,, i only eat cuse im depress and my family always calling me an animale and saying im not blood and insulting me...its hard to stay in a good mood,,all i wanted we 3 things,,,,a home,,,, to get my idea;s out,,,and a last one is to have a loving family of fur's.......i work hard im not lazy,, only when im in bed,,,,, i try my best to stay in it like a tiger should,,, but im noyt lazy am i?......i know anyartist got to push him self to a broken point and build up,,, and im broken ...and,,i ,,cant,,,move,,wish me luck ,,umm fur mom if you read this,, i miss ya,,thx for teaching me to draw,,,you made me felt like i can do somthing with my life while it lasted..shy if your reading this,,,thx for being good to me,, im sorry it felt you hand to cerry me,, i was broken befor you found me but you loved me still ^^ for those i forget a drawing ,,well dont worry your still alive so you can get them form some one else...wow ,,,im long winded today,,,,well..im sure that stop soon ,,the bitch of a mother just walked in and already nagging on me and all im doing is sitting here and typing to my best of lil skills...... i just want it to stop,,,but i guess it too much to ask that,,love you all,,live for me ok ^^i think ill be fine,,,or close to it,,fur dont kil our self,,,witch kinda sucks cause we need a fast exit form this hell..