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Hi 2023. Yes, I exist.
2 years ago
This is the part where you're supposed to get bored and stop paying attention.
Press (X) to doubt if anybody cares:
I'm just posting this to say that, yes, I still exist. I am trying to be less of an asshole-without-intending, but it's hard. Turns out that I have Asberger's and that my blunted, passive-aggressive way of articulating myself is a significant underlying trait of that. Who knew?
Well, not me. Or at least I didn't know it was Asberger's. I always knew SOMETHING was wrong with me. Y'know. Just not WHAT. Well, now I know. Explains a bunch, dunnit. I'm sure an explanation doesn't make any attempts of apologies any more meaningful or burned bridges repairable (yes I'm looking at you Crosso and Issah ...... I guess I don't deserve you two as friends in the end anyway... not that either of you will see this. Pretty sure you both quit the site).
So, yes, I still exist.
I'm trying to motivate myself more, but it's hard.
People probably noticed that I removed all the info off my profile page. Honestly, after ten years of most of it being there? It was looking tacky. Trashy ... like me. Also, just ... weirdly aggressive and off-putting. Which I guess just goes with how I inadvertently tend to act BUT I'M NOT TRYING TO ACT LIKE THAT I SWEAR. So it's gone.
I want to replace it all, but I don't know how. Not without continuing to make myself look like a jackass, or rude. I want a nice-looking profile page, but my brain just ...... can't do it. So that's why the only thing that's there is the theft disclaimer. Sorry. If someone wants to help me I'd really appreciate it but, y'know, I don't really expect that anyone will. So.
Besides that? Just motivation. Motivation is hard. I'm trying to motivate myself to actually upload all the stuff that I got last year that's like, ten months backlogged. I'm also trying to motivate myself to share my writing. I know that everyone will think it's trashy, but maybe there's one person out there who will read it and find it interesting -- or better yet, will want to help me to make it worded better than it is.
I read that FA is planning to update how it displays/stores stories and writing commissions to make them nicer. I'm kind-of banking on that ATM, hoping it turns out good.
I'm sorry for the long-ass journal. I just needed to type ... something. To anybody who cares enough to read this stuff. I'm still alive. I still have art. I have stuff I want to try and make myself share, just in the hopes that one person might think it's cool. If you read all this, then thanks. If not, then cool.
2023 is definitely being a year.
I'm just posting this to say that, yes, I still exist. I am trying to be less of an asshole-without-intending, but it's hard. Turns out that I have Asberger's and that my blunted, passive-aggressive way of articulating myself is a significant underlying trait of that. Who knew?
Well, not me. Or at least I didn't know it was Asberger's. I always knew SOMETHING was wrong with me. Y'know. Just not WHAT. Well, now I know. Explains a bunch, dunnit. I'm sure an explanation doesn't make any attempts of apologies any more meaningful or burned bridges repairable (yes I'm looking at you Crosso and Issah ...... I guess I don't deserve you two as friends in the end anyway... not that either of you will see this. Pretty sure you both quit the site).
So, yes, I still exist.
I'm trying to motivate myself more, but it's hard.
People probably noticed that I removed all the info off my profile page. Honestly, after ten years of most of it being there? It was looking tacky. Trashy ... like me. Also, just ... weirdly aggressive and off-putting. Which I guess just goes with how I inadvertently tend to act BUT I'M NOT TRYING TO ACT LIKE THAT I SWEAR. So it's gone.
I want to replace it all, but I don't know how. Not without continuing to make myself look like a jackass, or rude. I want a nice-looking profile page, but my brain just ...... can't do it. So that's why the only thing that's there is the theft disclaimer. Sorry. If someone wants to help me I'd really appreciate it but, y'know, I don't really expect that anyone will. So.
Besides that? Just motivation. Motivation is hard. I'm trying to motivate myself to actually upload all the stuff that I got last year that's like, ten months backlogged. I'm also trying to motivate myself to share my writing. I know that everyone will think it's trashy, but maybe there's one person out there who will read it and find it interesting -- or better yet, will want to help me to make it worded better than it is.
I read that FA is planning to update how it displays/stores stories and writing commissions to make them nicer. I'm kind-of banking on that ATM, hoping it turns out good.
I'm sorry for the long-ass journal. I just needed to type ... something. To anybody who cares enough to read this stuff. I'm still alive. I still have art. I have stuff I want to try and make myself share, just in the hopes that one person might think it's cool. If you read all this, then thanks. If not, then cool.
2023 is definitely being a year.
Oof to your lost friends. Fate willing you might be able to mend those bridges with 3rd party help *shrugs* I've seen it before
Ahh, the motivation drain. That's depression! Been there, still there. The biggest trick for that, is stubbornness. You have to be more stubborn then the depression beast and push
(And it's hard. And NOT in the fun way)
As fer your profile page. I have a suggestion
Think of it as a resume. You want it to be professional and friendly.
So, keeping the disclaimer. As say the top of your profile. So no one can claim TLDR you can post stuff boutchu that you want others to know about.
S'thought anyways.
Also, late greeting but, welcome to 2023. It's weird
no, no amount of help will mend those bridges. ive had to accept that, as much as it hurts me. ive not been the same since, but theres not much i can do about it. i just... cant let go, is all. just cant do it
and no it wouldnt help
im sorry for being so defeatist about it, but theres no solution