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An Update
3 years ago
so. this year has started out a bit rubbish.
very shortly after new years, my dad passed away very suddenly. it was quick, but came far sooner than anyone expected - when i received the call from my mum about it, i was bracing to hear that one of my grandparents had died instead. it blind sided me to learn it was dad. i remember just being very confused, like it was a joke. like, dad? dying? that seems very out of character for him, i don't think he'd do that.
due to some issues with the process, the funeral wasn't able to occur until yesterday. i wrote a eulogy for it, but due to time constraints i wasn't able to read it out loud, and my sister read one of her own instead - mine did appear in the order of service booklet, although i lost my copy during the wake. i'll try and find another, maybe i'll post it here. unsure.
in between the death and the funeral, i decided the best thing to do was focus on keeping up with routine, which has mostly helped, but apparently life this year is insisting on throwing curveball after curveball. my computer's GPU started breaking, although thankfully a computer savvy friend of mine, free of charge, offered to fix it up the same night, so i'm alright on that front for the moment. then, a week before the funeral, i got in an accident while riding on an electric scooter, when someone opened their car door right into my path before i could swerve to avoid it. it was far less worse than it could've been, all things considered, although i'm worried my right hand is a little fucked up from it - hurts to put pressure on it still a week later. and as though things weren't rough enough, my bills have basically tripled thanks to a government that's very very good at serving it's people. just try another tory, i'm SURE that'll fix things /s.
so january's been kind of shit. maybe the worst month of my life so far. but if there's anything i've learned from the experience, it's that you need to do the shit you want to do with the people you care about right fucking now, or you'll miss the chance entirely. and to that end, i don't want to be held back by my fear any more.
i'm looking to get a second job my friend pointed me toward last november, one closer to the actual thing in my life i wanted to do. if nothing else, it's working in the game industry, doing localization checking for japanese games - apparently they work closely with square enix, so if i get this there's a decent chance i'll be checking out stuff like FF XVI and kingdom hearts 4 before anyone else, which is a novelty all on its own. and i'm saving up for a trip out to visit my boyfriends which i'm determined to make happen by any means necessary. and, i finally want to write that big thing i've been making hints about every so often. i've learned a lot of people around me do really believe in me and give a shit about me. i want to pay it back and i want to live my life in a way i've been missing out on for years.
and i suppose a question some of you may be wondering is "what about those commissions you talked about doing?" still on the cards, especially after the hike in bills. watch this space.
life sucks. i don't care. i'm grabbing it by the horns and making it be better, no matter what.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
very shortly after new years, my dad passed away very suddenly. it was quick, but came far sooner than anyone expected - when i received the call from my mum about it, i was bracing to hear that one of my grandparents had died instead. it blind sided me to learn it was dad. i remember just being very confused, like it was a joke. like, dad? dying? that seems very out of character for him, i don't think he'd do that.
due to some issues with the process, the funeral wasn't able to occur until yesterday. i wrote a eulogy for it, but due to time constraints i wasn't able to read it out loud, and my sister read one of her own instead - mine did appear in the order of service booklet, although i lost my copy during the wake. i'll try and find another, maybe i'll post it here. unsure.
in between the death and the funeral, i decided the best thing to do was focus on keeping up with routine, which has mostly helped, but apparently life this year is insisting on throwing curveball after curveball. my computer's GPU started breaking, although thankfully a computer savvy friend of mine, free of charge, offered to fix it up the same night, so i'm alright on that front for the moment. then, a week before the funeral, i got in an accident while riding on an electric scooter, when someone opened their car door right into my path before i could swerve to avoid it. it was far less worse than it could've been, all things considered, although i'm worried my right hand is a little fucked up from it - hurts to put pressure on it still a week later. and as though things weren't rough enough, my bills have basically tripled thanks to a government that's very very good at serving it's people. just try another tory, i'm SURE that'll fix things /s.
so january's been kind of shit. maybe the worst month of my life so far. but if there's anything i've learned from the experience, it's that you need to do the shit you want to do with the people you care about right fucking now, or you'll miss the chance entirely. and to that end, i don't want to be held back by my fear any more.
i'm looking to get a second job my friend pointed me toward last november, one closer to the actual thing in my life i wanted to do. if nothing else, it's working in the game industry, doing localization checking for japanese games - apparently they work closely with square enix, so if i get this there's a decent chance i'll be checking out stuff like FF XVI and kingdom hearts 4 before anyone else, which is a novelty all on its own. and i'm saving up for a trip out to visit my boyfriends which i'm determined to make happen by any means necessary. and, i finally want to write that big thing i've been making hints about every so often. i've learned a lot of people around me do really believe in me and give a shit about me. i want to pay it back and i want to live my life in a way i've been missing out on for years.
and i suppose a question some of you may be wondering is "what about those commissions you talked about doing?" still on the cards, especially after the hike in bills. watch this space.
life sucks. i don't care. i'm grabbing it by the horns and making it be better, no matter what.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
*gives bear hug*