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The truth was disturbing
2 years ago
Meow!
An update to this Journal: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10458062/
Some people asked me to write an update when there are some news, sooo...
Yes.
I don't remember a moment in my life where I has SO much disappointment and despise to someone. I hate to bring this on public but this person is still hiding from me while I have information he's around and I see no other option to deliver this message...
...A whole decade of online friendship with not a single quarrel. So many projects we've worked on together, so many words about the value of friendship, mutual assistance and support, so many gifts made to each other. Not a single word of annoyance from him. But then he ruined everything for no reason! I've never asked him to help me, never asked for money: I had a chance to gather it and solve my problems myself. But no, he wanted to "prove our friendship" and invest. Okay, he "helped" me. To worsen everything a lot!
I trusted him so much I was sure he was hacked, kidnapped, anything. But not this.
I knew he's adult for a decade that didn't seem mentally defective, however, when his relatives suddenly discovered that HE spends lots of HIS money on HIS hobby they were furious... at the furry artists!!! And this guy simply hid and let them strike endless refunds for finished work from HIS account, threaten me to ruin my online existence if I don't refund EVERY single dollar he EVER sent to ANY of my wallets/platforms and cover all the past and current fees! Will he refund me my time, my nerves, my faith in people then? His sister made me aware my work is nothing, my effort is nothing, my health is nothing, my feelings are nothing. If someone draws furry art, they are sub-people, right?
He COULD let me know he had problems, I WOULD try to invent something to help. But instead, they didn't only force artists to refund money. No, this "beautiful" family made it end up with a couple other's accounts being blocked and mine still frozen with little chances to survive (because PayPal usually prefers buyers over sellers when it comes to digital goods and especially when the work MIGHT be interpreted as nsfw).
Ugh! Well, at least he lost more than me.
Maybe I've lost money but he has lost FRIENDS!
Message to N: DON'T EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME, IT'S BEEN A WHOLE MONTH I WAS SURE YOU ARE IN DANGER BUT YOU SIMPLY GHOSTED ME WHILE CHATTING TO OTHERS! YOU. DO. NOT. EXIST. FOR. ME. ANYMORE!
Oof... That's all. Now I should concentrate on saving up for my treatment because this person didn't only "help" me to lose most money I saved up but "helped" to worsen my illness as well. So! I'm planning to announce a YCH soon, there will also be some nice character designs for sale and pinup Gumroad packs (if I'll find a way to get payments from Gumroad)! :)
Current ways of support:
https://www.patreon.com/iskra - well, you know, I do exclusive stuff there ^^
https://boosty.to/iskraart - almost the same with Patreon, originally created for my russian-speaking followers + an additional payment method for everyone
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/iskra - basically it's a donation platform but it's possible to pay for commissions with it ^^
Also!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50882040/ - a very generous friend of mine created a YCH to gather some funds for me... I'm speechless!
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/sfmamateur - this person helped me a lot, too! I want to advertise their writing commissions as well C:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50933388/ - my YCH
Thank you for your attention! And don't worry, I'm going to be fine! The dark period must end, I simply need to put a little bit more effort! C:
Some people asked me to write an update when there are some news, sooo...
Yes.
I don't remember a moment in my life where I has SO much disappointment and despise to someone. I hate to bring this on public but this person is still hiding from me while I have information he's around and I see no other option to deliver this message...
...A whole decade of online friendship with not a single quarrel. So many projects we've worked on together, so many words about the value of friendship, mutual assistance and support, so many gifts made to each other. Not a single word of annoyance from him. But then he ruined everything for no reason! I've never asked him to help me, never asked for money: I had a chance to gather it and solve my problems myself. But no, he wanted to "prove our friendship" and invest. Okay, he "helped" me. To worsen everything a lot!
I trusted him so much I was sure he was hacked, kidnapped, anything. But not this.
I knew he's adult for a decade that didn't seem mentally defective, however, when his relatives suddenly discovered that HE spends lots of HIS money on HIS hobby they were furious... at the furry artists!!! And this guy simply hid and let them strike endless refunds for finished work from HIS account, threaten me to ruin my online existence if I don't refund EVERY single dollar he EVER sent to ANY of my wallets/platforms and cover all the past and current fees! Will he refund me my time, my nerves, my faith in people then? His sister made me aware my work is nothing, my effort is nothing, my health is nothing, my feelings are nothing. If someone draws furry art, they are sub-people, right?
He COULD let me know he had problems, I WOULD try to invent something to help. But instead, they didn't only force artists to refund money. No, this "beautiful" family made it end up with a couple other's accounts being blocked and mine still frozen with little chances to survive (because PayPal usually prefers buyers over sellers when it comes to digital goods and especially when the work MIGHT be interpreted as nsfw).
Ugh! Well, at least he lost more than me.
Maybe I've lost money but he has lost FRIENDS!
Message to N: DON'T EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME, IT'S BEEN A WHOLE MONTH I WAS SURE YOU ARE IN DANGER BUT YOU SIMPLY GHOSTED ME WHILE CHATTING TO OTHERS! YOU. DO. NOT. EXIST. FOR. ME. ANYMORE!
Oof... That's all. Now I should concentrate on saving up for my treatment because this person didn't only "help" me to lose most money I saved up but "helped" to worsen my illness as well. So! I'm planning to announce a YCH soon, there will also be some nice character designs for sale and pinup Gumroad packs (if I'll find a way to get payments from Gumroad)! :)
Current ways of support:
https://www.patreon.com/iskra - well, you know, I do exclusive stuff there ^^
https://boosty.to/iskraart - almost the same with Patreon, originally created for my russian-speaking followers + an additional payment method for everyone
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/iskra - basically it's a donation platform but it's possible to pay for commissions with it ^^
Also!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50882040/ - a very generous friend of mine created a YCH to gather some funds for me... I'm speechless!
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/sfmamateur - this person helped me a lot, too! I want to advertise their writing commissions as well C:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50933388/ - my YCH
Thank you for your attention! And don't worry, I'm going to be fine! The dark period must end, I simply need to put a little bit more effort! C:
I had kinda a feeling that family was involved in this. A lot of time this kinda things happens :/
To N: That's why you put password on everything and never share them! Family wouldn't be able to unlock & do anything if they do have the password to anything.
You know what'll REALLY keep family from unlocking your shit?
Living on your own, as an adult.
So far everyone I know personally has had difficulty doing that, due to layoffs, downsizing, hiring freezes, and increasing cost of rent and necessities.
I hear this excuse (and make no mistake that's exactly what it is) from people all the time, yet somehow despite being a high-school dropout with no technical skills to my name I've never had a problem moving halfway across the country to live in some cheap dump of an apartment until I find better-paying work. Several times.
Let's be real, furries are largely sheltered, privileged, risk-averse, and easily discouraged by any impediments. I've seen it enough times to recognize the patterns at this point. They prefer the comfort of familiarity over taking any risk of the unknown which is why so many of them are in arrested-development manchild status living with their parents in their 30s.
Some of y'all never really dealt with genuine hardship and it shows.
If you look for the reason why you shouldn't do something before you look for the reason why you should, you will always not do that thing. That's all I can tell you.
Don't get me wrong, everyone should work about as hard as they are able to in the systems they fall under, and I can agree with your "reason why you shouldn't do something" argument, but at some point, rugged individualism cannot contend with the systemic social issues we face as a society, and simply telling everyone they can do it if they try hard enough just ignores the underlying issues that makes life so difficult. This is why I find the bootstraps argument harmful. If everyone thought the way you do, these harmful systems would never be addressed.
If you truly did suffer through hardship, then you took away the wrong lessons from that hardship. Though it feels increasingly more common for people to slowly lose their willingness to connect with others, while also viewing the entire world as filled with liars or those who look down on them.
The expenses add up quick and even one accident from being in poor health, lack of sufficient rest, inherited illnesses, bad genes, or just being flat out unlucky, can and will set you back thousands of dollars.
I'm sure this person bought everything they possibly needed to succeed... When you could pay for rent, food money and college with a job at mcdonalds.
Everywhere is expensive. It’s insane.
But my parents do know what I do and spend my money on is my business. But also I have craZy password locks on everything.
I've never heard of any place ever requiring "three months rent deposit up front" even with my shit credit score, no apartment complex requires an 800 credit score, this is a fantasy, and $900 a month is nothing.
Stop finding excuses not to do something, and get out on your own and be an adult.
The High Shitposter indeed
I'm not saying this is fair, but look at it from the family's point of view. Their adult son who is supposedly too poor to move out of the house, just gave a gift of more than $300 to one online friend that he's never actually met and lives in Russia. That would be suspicious to anybody and when they found out he's probably given tens of thousands of dollars to her and other furry artists over the years (instead of saving up to move out and pay his own bills), they assume it's a scam and demand the money back. If they don't get it from her, they'll go to PayPal and accuse of them of allowing their platform to help an international 'scammer'. They threaten with police and lawyers and PayPal is going to cave, whether or not PayPal can recoup the money from the artist directly. They'll right it off as a loss or make an insurance claim.
If this person is disabled and receiving government money, which is a very real possibility, then it becomes an even more serious issue because then the family can claim that their disabled son was scammed as well as the government. They won't blame the person with disabilities. It doesn't look good either way and difficult to resolve with PayPal who now has to mediate between an artist and an angry family out thousands of dollars each accusing the other of scamming.
Sadly, this should serve as a lesson that it's not always just "buyer beware" but the vendor too.
However, I think their parents were WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too quick on acting on it instead of researching & asking questions.
P.S.: why you haven't disclosed who are they?
Just an acquaintance.
Iskra, don't lose any sleep over this yappy little monster or their family. You don't owe them a single cent, or a single moment of your time. If they persist, apply for a restraining order and muzzle that mutt.
Some families can be... difficult to deal with, to put it mildly. And I could understand feeling pressured or overwhelmed by them, and not being able to push back against their actions. But, to not even try and contact you, and explain what was happening... after all those years of closeness...
I'm so very sorry.
I will probably announce some new slots when I know I can work productively ^^
No matter how old you are, until you're out on your own and taking full responsibility over yourself, you're still a child.
While this is certainly the expectation of the "Absolute Nuclear Family" structure dominant in the modern anglosphere, it is virtually unthinkable in most traditional cultures outside this narrow few countries. For most of the world, families & communities live together as clans, typically with a head matriarch or patriarch, and multiple generations of the same family live together in the same home for most of their adult lives.
Here's a video essay explaining the various family structures that dominate the globe, and how they invariably tie into and influence someone's viewpoints on socioeconomics, politics, and ultimately the root of conflict in human society: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RFFwhbVqeU
It's not Kurzgesagt level of quality, but it's still very illuminating.
Nowadays, a lotta people into their adult years rely on their parents well into adulthood and they have the maturity and self-sufficiency of children.
This can usually be laid at the feet of the parents themselves. The soft coddling parenting years of the 80s and 90s really churned out a lot of hopeless shiftless demoralized emotionally-fragile adult-children.
If despite making a 4 figure salary and living in a nice area you can't help but start spewing bitter venom at people online, then I have a hard time believing you actually succeeded.
B) this unhinged economy is extremely hostile to prospective home renters or buyers that don't luck out or have a nest egg in the first place. Not everyone has that sort of freedom or health, and you being a narrow minded judgemental prick just because you happened to luck out with you risky move ain't it, and arguing with like 10 or more people isn't making you look mature either.
Hope the money issue will resolve quickly and the soul wound will close sooner than later...
*hugs tight*
I honestly feel like this is a lie to cover his ass to cash out after a decade of sudden buyer's remorse but I can see a doormat of a person getting steamrolled like this as well. I'm surprised you don't put them fully on blast to warm the community in case he rears his ugly head against once the heat dies down.
Such a strong phrase...
This situation is just horrible, you didn't deserve this
I just want to say that I'm sure you were an amazing friend for this guy he didn't actually deserved
So right, he really lost more than you did, I believe
You are such a strong person, I admire you and wish you good health
HAHAHAH.
His mom controls his life in his 30s.
Moving out on your own is only a step towards adulthood. Hell, it's only the first step.
Bad news bud. You have yet to grow up.
Your story's changed. It went from "I lived with my mom INTO adulthood BUT THEN I was renting half her house" to "I MOVED BACK IN WITH HER to help her as she was dying."
Nice job trying to pull a "noble hero" card but I'm not buying it, I think you're full of shit.
Plus, both versions are, infact true. There is just about 10 years seperating them.
It's a bold claim. A claim I think has no real value beyond the way you perceive it.
I can tell you you're wrong about X, Y, Z until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't mean you are.
Judging by the "shitposter" status there I'll assume you're trolling.
If this was an actual meaningful conversation you would actually listen or even consider what another individual is saying but with this comment its very clear you're going to do no such thing.
The guy was absolutely dishonourable and and an *expletive* no doubt tho.
Like if that's not a major red flag that that's not someone to be trusting, I dunno what is.
I foresee future commissions will be done with formal contracts, to protect innocent artists from scams and scammers.
And lawyers always win....
Короче, насылаю на него проклятие поноса, а Вам всего наилучшего, крепкого здоровья, нервов и вернуть утраченные финансы
Been there.
Done that.
Sailed the ship.
Hit the iceberg.
Went down with it. :D
just sometimes...the S.S. Friendship cant be saved...and just makes a sweet home on the ocean floor of memories.
I hope you'll be ok
I get no one wants to fight for stuff like this, but it's disgusting that they are getting away with this shit.
The guy is American. His family is possibly the far right loonies who think furries demand litterboxes in schools.
When I was little, my school kept some around so they could soak up spills or vomit easier without making it too slippery...
Now the 2nd use IS a portable potty for active shooter situations or to help soak up some of the blood on the floors. =\
Apparently though someone didn't understand the active shooter part and just assumed furries have gone too far again. 9_9
Hope you're ok.
Promises and all are just worthless with most of these hollow folks..
If you keep your head up high & carry on then you have beat them & they cannot bring you down!
But maybe Iskra will be a bit more careful about trusting manchildren who still live with mommy and daddy into their 30s or whatever.
Either way though, makes you wonder if you ever really knew someone at all like you think you did 🙄
I guess the only way to look at this is that its made you a much stronger person! 💪 😁
Since your Paypal is locked anyways, what's the worst that can happen?
Paypal should be smart enough to see that something is off, when someone pays for tons of commissions for years and suddenly refunds all of them.
We have legal systems for shit like this for a reason and Paypal has not much to do with those.
If they commission a service, they have to pay no matter who's in between.
in russia (or wherever Iskra lives) it might be that you can't open a second account while your first one is supended, for example. or any other obstacle we can think of.
here in germany I might have gone and cut my PP from my bank account and tell the guy's family to go and sue me, and see how far they'd come sueing someone across the big pond over furry pr0n. but that's just me, and doesn't apply to Iskras situation.
I would love to be able to help you financially, to make even a small donation (it would be better than nothing)
But I don't have the means to right now ><
I hope that this unfortunate experience will not make you lose faith in your friends nor in any future friendship you may have
Take very good care of yourself <3
The situation sounded so weird that it really seemed like a scam, but this is really the worst of the possibilities. What a weird thing. I suppose that all you can do is move on. Nothing you could reasonably have done would have prevented this, so just try to remember that. This was a freak situation.
Best of luck with everything moving forward.
I'm sure, I'll be fine :)
To anyone who is not in college or physically disabled and is an adult and is living in their parents' house: Get the fuck to work, get the fuck out, and grow the fuck up.
And man oh man does that apply to an alarmingly large contingent of the furfandom.
Be careful who you trust in the future. Manchildren still living with mommy and daddy into their late 20s or into (or past) their 30s are not people you should trust.
I have a stable job.
I have money.
I am an adult.
I am very mature.
Yet I still live with my parent, sleep in the same bed since I was 7 years old and sleep with my plushies.
Living with your parent as an adult is NOT A RED FLAG AT ALL. Many peoples are in this situation. I know many big artist in this fandom that still live with their parents.
So not trusting someone just because they're still with their parent is just fucking dumb.
With todays prices for... well.. everything... Its basically just living with roommates who are related to you.
Yet I still live with my parent, sleep in the same bed since I was 7 years old and sleep with my plushies."
You just said contradictory things.
Yeah no I see the kind of person you are. You're the kind of person that has flawed dumb logic that cannot accept any argument from anyone else and will just insult whoever. The kind of person that any sort of conversation is impossible, so I'm not gonna even try since you're just a big waste of time.
That is not a problem we in the West have had to bear.
Lets talk about housing and rent prices of the greater Vancouver area in Canada.
I know you are not supposed to pull off large apartment alone, however, judging by what you write, the situation won't be good even if both are 20% top earners.
What about those who aren't top 20%?
I don't think the situation where I live is that dire, although getting worse and worse every year.
And the thing is the guy who was being mentioned in this journal is in the US.
I probably should've specified my opinion is specific to people living in the developed Western world with all the opportunities that entails.
A lot of the world and the different culture around it have families stay in the same house for generations and be perfectly fine with it. And even in America as our country falls apart, its becoming more common as its simply far to expensive to move out for A LOT of people and survive.
As for the cowardly fat white chinless antifa goonie cucklord named "kingman" above who likes to snipe at people he's blocked, I'd like him to know I'm a half-Mohawk orphan who grew up inner-east side of Detroit, dropped out of high-school after grade 10, and got out on my own by working warehouse jobs at the age of 18. No "magic" or "blessing" required.
As for "oh it's so expeeensiiiiive in America!", I live in one of the nicest cities in the Midwest. You can get a studio apartment here for $715-750, one month deposit only required, no credit check, and you can get a job working as a stock-picker at a warehouse for $18 an hour working 32-56 hours a week. It's not hard. You're making excuses, and where there's smoke, there's fire; my comment clearly hit too close to home, didn't it?
Reality is is you're all talk wanting nothing more than drama and attention while pretending to be all knowing. Since you know everything, care to explain the ever increasing poverty in America, or why the cost of food is sky rocketing, or how rent is typically more than gross income.
Really i could go on and on, but I'd hate to waste your oh so valuable time, oh wise one.
Get a life.
No comments. At this point the best thing to do is to move on and try to forget and avoid those horrible people.
If true, I guess they went ballistic on him after he claimed he did not have money to help with bills and then discovered he was blowing all his cash on Furry. Always a big issue with those who still live with their parents. Still no excuse. I would only accept Postal money order or personal checks that would have to clear before doing business with anyone and just avoid PayPal's stupidity.
Funny and sad how it can take years to make a true life-long friend but only seconds to make a lifelong enemy.
And thank you!
Да-а, я и сама не знаю всей истории до конца, написала только то, что собралось по кусочкам из переписок других художников и моих собственных (ну и того факта, что человек за это время так и не вышел на связь, хотя другому художнику писал спокойно)
and what resources are available to you, I hope legal action can be taken with this
Желаю вам сил и терпения!
I see the first issue is with PayPal. Unless “N” was stealing the family money (with sufficient proof that he actually was using the money without authorization), it wouldn’t be right for PayPal to try to reverse any payments or lock accounts. That is one of many reasons I won’t use PayPal anymore. I find them to take unethical and likely illegal positions. They know they will typically get away with it because all the “little people” can’t afford to take them on and the big players have the clout to twist any arm.
The second is the cowardice of “N”. Unless he was declared mentally incompetent by a court of law, his personal decisions should stand and he should stand up for his choices. Too many spineless people today. So sad.
There are legal firms that will take on the David v Goliath cases at no cost. I don’t know if that is an option for you either legally and/or emotionally. I know that Institue for Justice has handled some things like this.
I’ll be praying for a good result for you.
Yes, PayPal has too much power and can do whatever they want sadly...
I tried multiple other services but none is as convenient, fast and easy T_T
If i had money now, i would just buy something from you to help out. Do you have some donation account at least?
And believe me you're a great person, and your art is wonderful. Don't listen to whatever garbage those... people have said to you.
https://artistsbeware.info/
You see what sort of people N has for a family. They're heavy-handed, controlling, intolerant and bullying. They all seem to despise furries, and N is obviously one of those.
Recently they all banded together and went on the warpath, dynamiting this whole sector of his life because they didn't approve. They went so far as to tamper with private financial accounts. They're probably snooping around the net right now to see if he's still trying to be involved in such things.
If raised by such people, right now I'd be too terrified of them to make a move.
Even so, I hope you recover financially and emotionally from this. The art you make DOES matter, and you matter as a person.
There is nothing much you can do, other than try to spend some time with your other friends and take your time to process your emotions.
I understand this situation tainted your good memories of N, but i'd say you should cherish them, because i don't think N had an agenda or a master plan to fake a friendship, so they can get something out of you.
But of course, that's just an opinion of a person who is not in your position, so take it with a grain of salt.
Good luck, hopefully things will get better for you.
Lemme tell ya, living as a dependant over my mother (in a good way, not a bad way. I mean plenty well for her and my family.) with disabilities is not all it's cracked up to be. Sure, your family can actually help you, and I am willing to put in the effort at my house to make big dreams happen. Now, would I be willing to do anything illegal? No. Of course not. My family, on the other hand, is a different story. We have no choice but to sell stuff like the "magic grass" (or at least they do, I'm not the one selling this shit...) just to scrape by and pay bills on time.
I've noticed in my life, no one is absolutely perfect, and there are heinous, hideous people out there who will backstab just to get what they want. The worse part is, it works for a time. Until they get caught, that is. They can keep running all their lives, and either live long enough to never be caught if they can keep it up that long, or trip up and be a stupid, gullible idiot who thought they could do anything because they thought they were a master criminal, when in reality, they are a dumb idiot.
And then there are genuinely good people who not only are trying to do good in the world, but seem to trip up no matter where they go.
My point is: There are assholes of every shape and size out there.
And if N is reading this: It takes an asshole to know an asshole, jackass. If you really want your damn stuff to not be stolen, try a padlock. That is, if you can afford one.
Sure, things get taken care of for you to a degree. But stuff that most adult can take for granted-- like going someplace in a car on the spur of the moment-- becomes hard because a lot relies on the presence, abilities and willingness of others. You're forced to withdraw somewhat from the world.
In time, your mind may adjust to it too much and adopt a dependent attitude that doesn't serve you well if you attempt to live independently.
After all, nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained. Wise words to live by.
It can be hard to justify risking what you already have on a 'maybe' you don't have faith is even meant to be,
And by the time N realizes he'll have to start living on his own, he'll have but no choice but to live for himself, and fend for himself, the matter of which all depends on the person living by themselves after all.
Yes, if he was so dependant on his family, he could tell me. And if those people are angry HE has wasted their money, why attacking me now? Why haven't they kept an eye on him THIS WHOLE DECADE?! That's unfair =_=
But I'm glad to hear that you have a plan and see the road leading out of this mess eventually!
I wish with all my heart that you get better as soon as possible!
P.S.: don't listen to that sister! you are a wonderful talented artist with a pure heart!
something they can't even dream of as it seems. You're a valuable person that matters to so many people out there. don't you dare to forget that :)
well, you have many people who enjoy your work like me.
I am too poor to buy from you, but know you have my support.
Hope I never have to deal with that. Sounds like a real headache. Wish I could offer more than sympathy, but I'm not in the best place myself right now. I'm sure everything will get sorted out. Best of luck to ya.
The act of that person says a lot. This is person possibly weakened by his family. I cannot imagine that parents dictate to an adult what hobbies he should have. This, in turn, is very scary and sad. I feel sad for this person too somehow.
I wish you good luck no longer face such circumstances, friends should not act like this they should help to reach the bad times out, not to make the bad times.
Personally, I think you make some of the best artwork on this channel. Your texture and use of color is phenominal and once my financial situation improves I hope to start making donations to you in the future. Stay strong Iskra, and get well soon!
All I can give you are my eyes, my ears and my thanks regarding this matter. Thank you for bringing and making your fans aware of your situation Iskra. Please be safe and bless your heart.
мне очень жаль что так обернулось...
надеюсь ты смогла найти посредника?