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Misunderstanding (courteous reminder)
3 years ago
General
This is a post with my little thoughts!
First of all, I would like to remind you that I am from Russia and our culture is somewhat different from Western or Asian ones.
So, for several years of experience in communicating with people from a different cultures, I have highlighted some of the things that you should know when communicating with me:
- I'm not a very talkative person, but if you ask "how are you" - most likely, I will really tell everything as it is. The fact is that in my culture it is not customary to ask anything for no reason. So if you're just here to "check" my presence or say "Hi", Please DO NOT ask how I'm doing! (unless, you really wanna know). Always be specific about what you need. If it's about the commission, ask specifically "what is the status of the work on my order" or something like that (doesn't have to be so formal haha).
If you want to chat, then just say so! So that there are no misunderstandings.
In my culture the answer to the question "how are you" can not be just "I'm fine", like, within the framework of polite communication. Most likely it will be "I don't want to talk about it" if you are not familiar enough. Or it will be true with all the details. Good or bad details - it's not so important.
But most of the time we are NOT FINE. And oh yes we will tell you about it everything so you'll never be able to sleep calmly again *evil laugh*
I don't speak for all people from russia, of course! Everyone lives differently, everyone has different financial and life situations. But personally, I just can’t lie to you “everything is fine!” with a smile on my face, while I can literally dying mentally at this moment Idk.. hahaha, sorry for the exaggeration. But you get the point.
From this point comes the next one, but it concerns precisely my part of the personality and life situation:
- I work a lot. Like, CONSTANTLY. And when I'm not, I spend time with my family and friends. And when I say friends - I mean the BEST PEOPLE in my entire life. There are few of them. But they are like family. And family always comes first for me.
So most likely I don't have time to "small talk" with you.
Therefore, I sincerely ask you to respect my privacy and do not be offended if it seems to you that I communicate somehow too coldly and briefly with you.
When I have time and mood, I will be happy to talk with you. The rest of the time I'm just always busy, so I try to keep communication not related to my work to a minimum. But I always try to be honest and polite with absolutely everyone.
- And one more thing. English is still very difficult for me. I still use translator. Therefore, writing a lot (even this post) takes time. It's still a challenge for me to figure out sometimes what you mean when you use slang. I have to google these words first before I can understand them and answer you. So try not to use slang when talking to me. But if you can't live without slang, then please explain the meaning right away :D
Thanks for reading, have a nice day/night!
First of all, I would like to remind you that I am from Russia and our culture is somewhat different from Western or Asian ones.
So, for several years of experience in communicating with people from a different cultures, I have highlighted some of the things that you should know when communicating with me:
- I'm not a very talkative person, but if you ask "how are you" - most likely, I will really tell everything as it is. The fact is that in my culture it is not customary to ask anything for no reason. So if you're just here to "check" my presence or say "Hi", Please DO NOT ask how I'm doing! (unless, you really wanna know). Always be specific about what you need. If it's about the commission, ask specifically "what is the status of the work on my order" or something like that (doesn't have to be so formal haha).
If you want to chat, then just say so! So that there are no misunderstandings.
In my culture the answer to the question "how are you" can not be just "I'm fine", like, within the framework of polite communication. Most likely it will be "I don't want to talk about it" if you are not familiar enough. Or it will be true with all the details. Good or bad details - it's not so important.
But most of the time we are NOT FINE. And oh yes we will tell you about it everything so you'll never be able to sleep calmly again *evil laugh*
I don't speak for all people from russia, of course! Everyone lives differently, everyone has different financial and life situations. But personally, I just can’t lie to you “everything is fine!” with a smile on my face, while I can literally dying mentally at this moment Idk.. hahaha, sorry for the exaggeration. But you get the point.
From this point comes the next one, but it concerns precisely my part of the personality and life situation:
- I work a lot. Like, CONSTANTLY. And when I'm not, I spend time with my family and friends. And when I say friends - I mean the BEST PEOPLE in my entire life. There are few of them. But they are like family. And family always comes first for me.
So most likely I don't have time to "small talk" with you.
Therefore, I sincerely ask you to respect my privacy and do not be offended if it seems to you that I communicate somehow too coldly and briefly with you.
When I have time and mood, I will be happy to talk with you. The rest of the time I'm just always busy, so I try to keep communication not related to my work to a minimum. But I always try to be honest and polite with absolutely everyone.
- And one more thing. English is still very difficult for me. I still use translator. Therefore, writing a lot (even this post) takes time. It's still a challenge for me to figure out sometimes what you mean when you use slang. I have to google these words first before I can understand them and answer you. So try not to use slang when talking to me. But if you can't live without slang, then please explain the meaning right away :D
Thanks for reading, have a nice day/night!
When I ask, I Do want to know, I like getting at least a Response with a Full Sentence.
If Im ever asked "How are you?" I give a full response and tell them. Good, and Bad, depending on the situation.
Its not a Culture Thing for me. Its a Very Personal Thing.
If people try to start Socializing, I Socialize back. And it feels like more and More people are losing their Social Skills.
Not because it's bad, but because in American culture, it's more a formality than actually wanting to know how you are doing. It feels like everyone is just saying it to be nice. And when I ask how someone doing it feels like I'm not getting enough when someone gives me a 2 word answer. If you know me and I know you...GIVE ME DETAILS!
If I were to be honest and say just how good or bad my day is(Been pretty bad) Total conversation ender.
But nowadays, it feels like a lie to say "I'm okay" or "Oh, I'm fine" when I'm not.
I know it other countries people act more humble instead of being socially pressured into pretending everything is fine in person. Wish it were like that here in the USA. I'm tired of having to lie every time someone asks me how I'm doing.
In any case I do hope things are improving for you. I'm sure things are still stressful with the business so I hope you see some positive outcomes sooner than later.
Even as someone from a culture where small talk is common, I don't like the "hi, how are you?" messages since in my experience it leads to dead conversations whether it's about work or not.
As for the evil laugh, I used to practice in the mirror. Start low in the gut and try tilting your head back toward the end. Finish with a bit of a manic note like you're a bit afraid of yourself.