I'll start with the partial gallery purge. Under the instruction of my therapist and after talking to my lovely mates, I'll be deleting a part of my gallery. Unlike the trend of purging art galleries, I would like to give a curtesy warning for my audience. On 03-10-2023, I'll delete a dozen or so images as well as putting the remaining images in their own category and scraps. Why am I doing this? Its for my mental health, something that I've been neglecting for months. This was not an easy decision, I didn't like when my favorite artists wiped their galleries clean. Do not worry, I will not delete my whole gallery. I'm just removing myself from something that I'm no longer part of. The images that I'll be deleting, will still be on FA, if you look hard enough.

As for my mental health, its simple... I can't handle being social. I don't know... social anxiety?... agoraphobia or something?, I'm still trying to understand what did happen. The last few weeks I've been having chest pains (not heart related) trouble breathing, thoughts of overwhelming dread, like everything is closing around me as well as the room (any space really) getting overwhelmingly hot. Not even going outside in 40F temps was still not cool enough for me at those times. Aside from not resting and doing nothing but grind work over and over again.... I haven't really drawn for myself and had fun in a long time.

I want to make one thing clear to everyone. No, I do NOT waste time playing games, watch movies on the couch Homer Simpson style. No, I've been drawing, every day since Christmas, if I'm not drawing, I'm cooking. I'm also the cook of the apartment. Since Ota and Vixion have to go to work, they don't have time to cook so I make premade meals. I don't mean just making dinner every night, I make breakfast, lunch and dinner for them for a week plus in advance. Its usually 5 plus meals... 7 to 9 servings each and the cooking time is between 4 to 8 hours every monday after shopping. Don't worry, this is concensual, I get paid for this. I'm just telling you that no, I'm not just wasting time playing games. Honestly I miss playing Kerbal Space Program and Stellaris. I only play games... like once every 3 to 6 months?

My only outlet, coping mechanism and I guess... addiction is drawing, but I haven't been able to do it. You might ask.. "Zandaka, you overwhelmingly sexy tanuki... you have been drawing, what do you mean?"

I have been drawing, but not for me, I've been drawing for others and well... its not really my outlet. Thus, it hasn't been helping. I like to work on private drawings, experimental images and trying new things,. Working on clearing up my cueue the last few months have well... I've been burntout so... Plus being social when I'm not normally social. I thought going to ANE would help, well... it kinda didn't, I couldn't relax... I had to be social, run around to meet up with friends that I haven't seen in years since the pandemic, but... :T I couldn't decompress. ANE was more like Exhaustion-Con for me. Then every other day after that I had to be social or be outside at appointments, so no rest. For a month, its been like this and both my mind and body reached a saturation point and started having panic attacks/stress attacks. Its my mind saying: "Take a break...NOW!" This is a bad time, but I can't help it. I need to take a week, mandatory break for my mental wellbeing. Else I'll have to start taking pills and undo the years of progress that I've made for my issues, I don't want to be a pill popper. >w<


The Original plan was for me to use February to have the rest of my sketch rewards done, by the first week of February, have the art packs ready by the middle of month and use the rest of the time to work on content. However... due to this, I need to change the plans. I'll explain my plans for Patreon and Substar on there, but it safe to know that content will return, I just need the time to work on it.

I'll make another journal to properly update you about upcoming projects.