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I officially have adhd and autism now
2 years ago
The latter is only surprising that it met the clinical threshold, I’ve always had a laughably “stereotypical Asperger’s” personality but none of those traits have been nearly as detrimental as others describe (I don’t have meltdowns and don’t have major issues functioning in society other than food/housing being expensive because of my weird type of picky eating and not being able to tolerate living with others). I have limited social needs and feelings compared to most and my sensory issues are with things pretty easy to avoid in adult life (physical touch and food smells). It’s not something I’ll probably throw around much unless the full report gives a good reason why I hit the threshold because it’s basically just personality traits for me, but if people ask because I hate romance and touch and like trains I’ll just go “lol yep”
Adhd (combined type) I just… really wish hadn’t been treated as just an excuse to throw drugs at annoying little kids all my life or something people use as an excuse to get drugs or skip lines. If I’d even been aware of what it was actually like and that I did have serious traits of it pre-phone use I probably would have had a way better/easier time in college and my first few years of career life. But nope the mainstream narrative was “lol fuck you it’s ideopathic depression and a basically incurable chronic thing, your life will just continue to decay and you can only escape being terminally online through ~willpower~” which killed any desire to bother getting help for years because the meds seemed so ineffective for others and I can’t stand that positive thinking bullshit ot have trauma issues. I only gave in when I realized life wasn’t worth living the way it was and nothing was working so whatever, may as well try and fail several drugs and maybe they’ll throw ketamine at me or shock me because supposedly those work better. And then that was the only way I even took the adhd thing seriously because I mentioned it offhand and actually scored pretty high in a brief assessment and realized those traits DID go back far and weren’t all phone fry. Honestly I was scared I was going to test negative when I did a few months ago because I’d be back at square zero with my one real hope dashed. We’ll see how medication works, it’s supposed to have like an 80-90% effectiveness rate so I have way more hope in it vs antidepressants (which did make me less negative I guess but didn’t work long term or fix the actual root issue of not being able to do anything at home). Hopefully it means I’ll post more in the future?
It further vindicates my fondness for KISS and Never Too Young to Die because iirc Ace Frehley was confirmed to have it as an adult and man, is he the kind of sad embodiment of “lazy, unreliable, forgetful, and constantly late” and had major drug issues probably related to it. I always kind of hated to admit I relate to those former aspects of him and well, that’s why. I have some of his entertaining traits too but it’s overshadowed by the bad tbh. And Never Too Young to Die once again proves to be bizarrely progressive for a stupid 80s movie because dear god does the villain embody the impulsive/hyperactive type and there’s a weird thread about not being compatible with society you could spin into an actual compelling and kind of sad story about that character. People say that movie could never be made today but there’s so much stuff that would really be more relevant than ever now and you could translate SO well.
Adhd (combined type) I just… really wish hadn’t been treated as just an excuse to throw drugs at annoying little kids all my life or something people use as an excuse to get drugs or skip lines. If I’d even been aware of what it was actually like and that I did have serious traits of it pre-phone use I probably would have had a way better/easier time in college and my first few years of career life. But nope the mainstream narrative was “lol fuck you it’s ideopathic depression and a basically incurable chronic thing, your life will just continue to decay and you can only escape being terminally online through ~willpower~” which killed any desire to bother getting help for years because the meds seemed so ineffective for others and I can’t stand that positive thinking bullshit ot have trauma issues. I only gave in when I realized life wasn’t worth living the way it was and nothing was working so whatever, may as well try and fail several drugs and maybe they’ll throw ketamine at me or shock me because supposedly those work better. And then that was the only way I even took the adhd thing seriously because I mentioned it offhand and actually scored pretty high in a brief assessment and realized those traits DID go back far and weren’t all phone fry. Honestly I was scared I was going to test negative when I did a few months ago because I’d be back at square zero with my one real hope dashed. We’ll see how medication works, it’s supposed to have like an 80-90% effectiveness rate so I have way more hope in it vs antidepressants (which did make me less negative I guess but didn’t work long term or fix the actual root issue of not being able to do anything at home). Hopefully it means I’ll post more in the future?
It further vindicates my fondness for KISS and Never Too Young to Die because iirc Ace Frehley was confirmed to have it as an adult and man, is he the kind of sad embodiment of “lazy, unreliable, forgetful, and constantly late” and had major drug issues probably related to it. I always kind of hated to admit I relate to those former aspects of him and well, that’s why. I have some of his entertaining traits too but it’s overshadowed by the bad tbh. And Never Too Young to Die once again proves to be bizarrely progressive for a stupid 80s movie because dear god does the villain embody the impulsive/hyperactive type and there’s a weird thread about not being compatible with society you could spin into an actual compelling and kind of sad story about that character. People say that movie could never be made today but there’s so much stuff that would really be more relevant than ever now and you could translate SO well.
NOT looking forward to having to re-diagnose if I move or something just because of the wait and cost alone. I got off easier than some because it was probably 4-5 months total from referral to testing to getting the diagnosis report and I also have more of the stereotypically “male presentation” of both. Only reason I bothered to begin with is for the meds and probably the only reason I’d deal with that again.