I really can't get things straight... it feels like the more I try the more I fail... start with the small things I tried screwed most of them up. Try to write more nope can't hunker down and get back to it... interact more with people feels like that blew up in my face and to too it off people I have known for 18 plus years have become more distant hell they don't even reach out most of the time if never at all.. hell I'm at point I'm just looking for a reason to keep going forward but I can't find one for myself I haven't felt this worthless in a long time fuck the last time I felt like this... I atleast found this Fandom no one questioned me they just opened their arms and welcomed me..... but now I feel like I have to come out swinging just to get out of bed. I just don't know anymore I can't get my thoughts straight I try to approach the subject but can't. I just wonder if I belong anywhere... I know I have always being a whiney, sleepy and depressing person and I tried tackling those issues but why does it matter does it realistically matter. I feel lonely and I feel worthless and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I want to keep trying or do I give up here. Somedays it feels like I wouldn't be missed...