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Where have I been?- Commissions open.
2 years ago
In November and December bf and I spent long, stressful weeks trying to find a new living situation. At the time we were sharing less than 300sqft of space.
In January we started moving, a large portion of which I had to do alone because bf was working a new job.
In January I started having a skin reaction that caused the skin on my drawing hand to bubble up and fall off. It was horribly itchy, horribly painful and completely debilitating. Then the rash spread to the bottoms of my feet, my arms all the way up to my shoulders. My knees and ankles. I was barely able to sleep After 3-4 weeks of this I woke up sobbing one day and had to go to urgent care because nothing we did was helping and the skin was delicate and easily damaged during our move. I felt like I was going insane. I wasn't communicating with anyone much, certainly not my clients, because I had no updates, and I felt like I was just giving the same excuses. But the funny thing is, I'm self employed. I live paycheck to paycheck. Often times I have to borrow money to pay my bills. I can only offer so many refunds. And much as I would like to, I didn't have the money to give to my commissioners- which made me more anxious, made the rash worse, made my health worse. And all the while, my bills just got bigger.
I have begun to work again although my hand is not healed. It's much better, but I have a huge scar where the first rash was, and it will likely be there the rest of my life. I'm developing rashes on top of it now. SO yes, I'm drawing again, and I'm trying to pick up communication with my clients, but I can only juggle so many things at once.
Today I had someone threaten to open a dispute with paypal. This is the first time in 15 years of commissions that someone has done this. They didn't ask for a refund first, they just came in guns ablaze, so of course, I gave them a refund. I'm not out to steal anyone's money. And I'm sorry if I'm not working at the pace you want. I've offered refunds to most of the people on my queue in the past at some point or another, and you are always welcome to ask for one. I may not have the money to give back right away because I'm poor. I've been living at a loss for like 4 years now. 2020 was the only year it looked like I'd be in the black and then I was held fucking hostage in a breakup and I didn't work for 3 months and screwed myself over. But you know, bills don't give a shit about your mental health. I'm not over here rolling in money, I have student loans, and personal loans from when my business has flagged. I'm literally fucking drowning, and I will still slave away to give you your money back.
Do you know the difference between a struggling artist and a scammer? A scammer will have a profile page full of people demanding for updates and asking for refunds. A struggling artist does not. People don't have to do that with me because I'm usually pretty good. If your name is on my to-do list, your art is going to get done. And if you are patient and kind and you don't nag and pressure me to work faster, you will get extra art most of the time. You get more than the value you paid. That's my personal fucking pride. I do good work, I just can't do it fast and I'm incredibly sorry for that. I'm sorry if you didn't know that in advance. But hey, you don't need to bully me into giving you money back. You don't need to threaten me. You just have to ask, and I will do my fucking best.
It's shit like this that makes me want to close shop for good. Clearly I'm not doing this well enough.
If you would like a refund please email me at deerlemon[at]gmail.com subject refund, and I will do my best for you.
Anyways, I can't pay my bills now, so if anyone here would like a commission and is understanding that it may take a few months but that you'll be rewarded for your patience, hit me up. I will make a new queue that is more transparent for folks. Part of the issue with communication lately is that my inbox is full so when people ask, I can't always answer right away. So I'll do my best to fix that.
I'm not looking for charity, just patience.
Prices are here: https://sta.sh/012c7so77oyx
Submit requests here: https://forms.gle/J2AcTSQZ5NTmoW74A
I will make a new queue in a couple of days.
Thank you for reading my cringe sob story.
In January we started moving, a large portion of which I had to do alone because bf was working a new job.
In January I started having a skin reaction that caused the skin on my drawing hand to bubble up and fall off. It was horribly itchy, horribly painful and completely debilitating. Then the rash spread to the bottoms of my feet, my arms all the way up to my shoulders. My knees and ankles. I was barely able to sleep After 3-4 weeks of this I woke up sobbing one day and had to go to urgent care because nothing we did was helping and the skin was delicate and easily damaged during our move. I felt like I was going insane. I wasn't communicating with anyone much, certainly not my clients, because I had no updates, and I felt like I was just giving the same excuses. But the funny thing is, I'm self employed. I live paycheck to paycheck. Often times I have to borrow money to pay my bills. I can only offer so many refunds. And much as I would like to, I didn't have the money to give to my commissioners- which made me more anxious, made the rash worse, made my health worse. And all the while, my bills just got bigger.
I have begun to work again although my hand is not healed. It's much better, but I have a huge scar where the first rash was, and it will likely be there the rest of my life. I'm developing rashes on top of it now. SO yes, I'm drawing again, and I'm trying to pick up communication with my clients, but I can only juggle so many things at once.
Today I had someone threaten to open a dispute with paypal. This is the first time in 15 years of commissions that someone has done this. They didn't ask for a refund first, they just came in guns ablaze, so of course, I gave them a refund. I'm not out to steal anyone's money. And I'm sorry if I'm not working at the pace you want. I've offered refunds to most of the people on my queue in the past at some point or another, and you are always welcome to ask for one. I may not have the money to give back right away because I'm poor. I've been living at a loss for like 4 years now. 2020 was the only year it looked like I'd be in the black and then I was held fucking hostage in a breakup and I didn't work for 3 months and screwed myself over. But you know, bills don't give a shit about your mental health. I'm not over here rolling in money, I have student loans, and personal loans from when my business has flagged. I'm literally fucking drowning, and I will still slave away to give you your money back.
Do you know the difference between a struggling artist and a scammer? A scammer will have a profile page full of people demanding for updates and asking for refunds. A struggling artist does not. People don't have to do that with me because I'm usually pretty good. If your name is on my to-do list, your art is going to get done. And if you are patient and kind and you don't nag and pressure me to work faster, you will get extra art most of the time. You get more than the value you paid. That's my personal fucking pride. I do good work, I just can't do it fast and I'm incredibly sorry for that. I'm sorry if you didn't know that in advance. But hey, you don't need to bully me into giving you money back. You don't need to threaten me. You just have to ask, and I will do my fucking best.
It's shit like this that makes me want to close shop for good. Clearly I'm not doing this well enough.
If you would like a refund please email me at deerlemon[at]gmail.com subject refund, and I will do my best for you.
Anyways, I can't pay my bills now, so if anyone here would like a commission and is understanding that it may take a few months but that you'll be rewarded for your patience, hit me up. I will make a new queue that is more transparent for folks. Part of the issue with communication lately is that my inbox is full so when people ask, I can't always answer right away. So I'll do my best to fix that.
I'm not looking for charity, just patience.
Prices are here: https://sta.sh/012c7so77oyx
Submit requests here: https://forms.gle/J2AcTSQZ5NTmoW74A
I will make a new queue in a couple of days.
Thank you for reading my cringe sob story.
You've got this, Lemon. You'll get on top of it, and push foward.
I might be a bit too patient with my commissions, seeing how one commission I got took almost 2 years to get from the point of me paying for it. But through that time, I communicated with the artist and they had reason for much of the delay that I was sympathetic for. And a lot of it was, a bump in the road, they got behind on schedule and needed new money in and satisfy those customers to stay afloat. Which is a very evil circle to be caught in but happens way to easily.
Not to knock the profession but how can you be a commissioner, and not come across posts or mentions that many freelance artists are living paycheck to paycheck? It isn't some lucrative get-rich-quick thing, i don't think I've seen a freelance artist that do it as a full time job complain that they got too much money or never have it tight now and then. So to not have respect for the fact that these things take time and life gets in the way is just so strange to me.
On a side note regarding the rash though, that sounds like its a reaction to something. Because I've never heard of skin bubbling up and itching from stress or anything. Did you get any information on what that might be caused by?
I can't imagine the stress from it since the business is all on your shoulders, but I work in a store and gotta deal with customers daily. And frankly, some of them are morons. And it does change you as a person. I know two colleagues who used to be really soft spoken and kind, but for lack of a better word, had to get some backbone due to just awful customers. And seeing that happen with people who before wouldn't even raise their voice. Its kinda sad, because you know that most customers we meet are fine or even great. But it has only taken a few customers, so few you can count them on one hand but they were so awful that they change you as a person, and make you recognize certain patterns to the point where when you see them you have to just set your foot down immediately to the point where it feels excessive. But you know the person is the kind where if you give them an inch they'll take a mile.
And of course when you make it clear you won't even give them an inch, they get pissy about it.
FAO Commissioners: A couple of months is nothing.
No, its when artists I commissioned in the past WASTED FIVE YEARS and never delivered anything and refused to compromise on setting for a different idea, is when I finally lost my s**t and complained to them directly. I never threatened, I just told them the facts: you've wasted my time and money with empty promises, and I now have to cash-out. I didn't raise a dispute via Paypal because I don't think you can after that duration. There were two I've never got a refund or apology from, just sh*tty excuses "I'm not feeling well right now" while yucking it up on Twitter and Discord with their friends. I wouldn't call those artists scammers, just assholes who didn't respect me as a person or a mutual. So unprofessional.
You're not like those people - I've seen your pateron, you are always working your socks off. <3
I would love to commission you - I wanted a comic about a fire spirit, same species as Mordecai, but a fan-made demoness character, Sulfa - The Witch Queen of Mount Nether, who after destroying the cities around her volcano in a fit of rage, mount vesuvius-style after suspecting her humans were trying to poison her, now has crippling loneliness and beginning to go a bit nutty... she talks to herself... uses a giant elks' skull as a "hand-puppet" to pretend she has at least one friend. That's probably, not possible, due to its length and complexity and your preexisting commitments, I think it more sensible to ask for a character sheet, and will have to write my own stories to accompany your art.
I'll look at your form, and *try* and knock up my own reference(s) so you have something to work with.
Anyways yeah! If you want to fill out my form, we can chat about it! Sounds neat!
sorry about that guy btw. what a loser. i just don't get it. you really dont seem like the dishonest type, you've definitely been really good about communicating when you've had the time to, and even publicly speaking it's not like you were keeping your situation (w/ the move and the zombie hand) a secret in any way. seriously if they had just checked your twitter or something for like 5 minutes they would have seen you talk about it. so i don't quite get what their problem is.
anyway, i hope things turn around for you asap & that you get plenty of awesome commissions to make up the loss. ( and hopefully i'll run into some cash so i can be one of them :3 )
Bluh, yeah some people don't seem to understand how much I've got on my plate in spite of not keeping that a secret at all. I can only do my best, and that's just not good enough for some.
Thanks!!
I must confess that during that whole period, I got a refund from your Subscribestar. I didn't know what was happening, but now that I know, I've gotten back to the subscription. I don't have a lot of money, but if even a little bit helps, I'll try. Nobody this artistically talented deserves to go through this.
Keep hanging on as best you can. There will always be some people rooting for you.
Anyways, thank you for your support, it really does matter although I definitely don't expect people to pay when they can't afford it. It's why I endeavor for all my art to be free and accessible as soon as feasible. No one should be punished for not earning enough money.
Reference aside, thanks for the concern. I can definitely afford to give people a little support. If something bad were to happen, then it would be entirely my fault. Keep doing what you're doing. š
I also didn't know you were open to accepting commissions.
I am just a nobody dude from germany,, all i can give is a virtual hug and a raise of my patreon-tier -which i did just now!
Hope that rash goes away and everything will get back on track!
Love and greeting from europe ! <3