We're surviving. That's about as positive as I can be at the moment.

I'm not going to go into the specifics, but we've been directly affected by a news item you probably heard about. It's been a hellish nightmare. There were grief councilors offered and people kept saying "There's nothing anyone can say to make this okay." We're recovering, but a lot of our friends are being affected by it as well. There's kind of no escaping it.

The same day that happened, we discovered that we are going to be forced to sell our house and move 8 hours away for Nom to keep his job. We were just getting comfortable in our lives here. If we do choose to move, we'll be moving into a housing market that's 50% more expensive. So while we're trying to stay optimistic, we expect a huge downgrade for a raise that is so pitiful that it's insulting. But if we stayed in the area we live in currently, we would still be forced to move. The job opportunities for him are multiple hours away, so commuting would be out of the question. It's a shitty situation. We're trying to find the bright spots, but some days I can't see anything but anxiety.

I'm continuing to have problems with my problem tooth. The endodontist I was seeing retired without finishing the job, and now I'm having to wait weeks to see a new one for just an exam. Who knows when they'll be able to schedule a surgery, probably 3 months out from that appointment. Meanwhile I have an active infection in my jaw that's rather painful. So that's wearing on me. It's been 6 months of pain so far and I've been lucky that it hasn't been worse, but it's been so stressful just by itself without all the other shit going on. I've been chewing on the good side, which now hurts all the time and I worry about getting more abcesses. My jaw hurts, my teeth hurt. And I grind my teeth when I'm stressed, so this situation is a feedback loop, but it's just getting so so much worse given all the other shit going on.

The one bright spot at the moment is that my kitty who was sick last year is doing better. She saw the vet the other day who commented how pleased she's been with her progress. She's gained some weight, has maintained her appetite and her thyroid levels were good in November. We'll be rechecking them in March just to make sure, but as of now, *knock on wood* she's doing well.

I've had periods where I've been able to put in a lot of time on work, and periods where I just don't have an ounce of creativity in my body. Often times my anxiety is crippling and I spend the entire day trying to regulate that. I know we'll get through the dark times but man. They're just really dark right now. I'm hoping that as we go along, I'll get back to feeling well enough that I can use creative projects as an escape and harness some of this bs as motivation, but that's sort of a shaky thing at the moment. Sometimes it works, sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better is sleeping.

When it rains, it pours I guess.