I've recently gone through some unpleasant things IRL that have negatively affected my mental state. These things have made me put a lot of thought about myself and how I feel about everything in general. These last few months, I've felt both alone and scared. Unsure what the future might bring to me. I've tried to put a positive spin of most of these events. It can only go so far that you wonder if keeping up the delusion is really worth it. I already know the outcome and I know I can't pad my fall. But I just wish things went differently, and I wish that these events never happened.