FA+
Shop
Routine Life Update: Loss, DenFur, Plushies
2 years ago
Hey everyone,
It has been a while since my last update. After we lost Kisa in September, my husband and I have been trying to continue on with our routines.
Cleo, our big girl, had been slowing down for the last few years. She had cervical spondylomyelopathy, aka Wobblers syndrome. It was something we were aware of when we first adopted her, though the rescue had raised funds to provide her with surgery to resolve this ailment. Unfortunately, in 2018, we discovered that she was relapsing and was no longer a surgical candidate. Because of that, we could only manage the symptoms and try to draw out her decline.
We took her for her daily walks and she also received regular physical therapy. Sadly, in the last few months, we had been noticing further decline. She still had a ton of spunk and spirit, but her body was slowing down. I turned to a familiar handicapped equipment company for pets. Through them, we took all of the measurements to fit a custom wheelchair for Cleo, along with a new harness. Shortly afterward, as we noticed she was starting to get a bed sore, we ordered another additional hip harness with donut to relieve pressure and help this heal.
The wheelchair arrived and we began the slow acclimation process. We made adjustments, took pictures, and slowly acclimated her to a new piece of equipment. We had just started actual short intervals of wearing it when we noted another significant downturn. Shortly after I returned from a weekend vacation, she had a slue of very poor days. Even if she started fighting back, we could see her body was out of gas.
We made the heartbreaking decision to seek end of life services for the coming weekend. We made sure we filled her last days with all of her favorite things, and helped her where possible. She had such a happy heart, but we could still see she was struggling and tired, despite her happiness. She wanted to keep pushing on, even though it was clear her body couldn't.
We said goodbye on May 6th. She was in our home with her favorite people and toys. She went peacefully and we were devastated.
There's never enough time. Cleo was there for us for so many years. She brought us worlds of joy. She encouraged me to walk again when I had to relearn. She helped get me mobile again. She was sassy and playful, and so gentle. She passed just shy of turning 10. She crossed the bridge to join our other family we've recently lost. We lost our other dog Ryder in 2021, two of our cats, Kyra and Kisa, in 2022, and now we've lost her. She passed just 5 days before the anniversary of when we lost Ryder. Our hearts hurt. The house is quiet.
Our polydactyly cat, who adored her, grieved, too. He would look for her and sniff at areas she had been. He still looks for her.
Our family is smaller now.
**
In the art world, I haven't had the desire to work on art in a long time, outside of conventions. I finally started putting together a new art badge option for DenFur, and several other merchandise ideas. Unfortunately, I was not accepted to DenFur this year- barring a miraculous drop out of those who made it in. What frustrates me more, is that there isn't a technical "wait list". Even if someone backed out, unless they had similar offerings that I did, I would not get in. I had been a part of DenFur/RMFC, whatever you want to call it, since 2009.
**
Work has been pressing on me more and more. It's difficult when you find yourself in a position that pays well and has excellent job security, but you have a hard time even remotely swallowing the field anymore...
But when you look into other avenues of your passion and experience, and see poor paying or only temporary jobs, how can you justify leaving? Instead, you continue to swallow the misery and try not to show how unsettled you are, while praying an incredible opportunity comes along. Heaven forbid you show you're struggling and then get reprimanded for not "smiling more".
**
My heart hurts. I've lost so much of my own family in the last few years. I'm in a job that's questionably appreciative of my blood, sweat, and tears, and have few escapes from the mental barrage. It wears my body down so much to keep working as an officer, so it's hard to have the energy in my days off to get out and find a change of scenery. Not being able to get away only adds to the mental stress, and it turns into a self-perpetuating cycle. I'm tired. One of the only havens I've had in the last few months has actually been sewing.
My sister helped teach me some sewing basics. I started making my own squishmallow plushies. They bring me some happiness and provide a little outlet where I can tune out life and have a distraction, if only for a little bit.
I finally progressed to the point of creating customs to honor my first lost dog- who was the reason I turned back to collecting in the first place. It looks like now I'll be making myself some more, to honor Cleo... sooner than expected.
If you enjoy squishmallows, my personal customs and my special needs kiddos can also be seen on my Instagram: @ darkriyoko (without the space)
Love all of you and your support.
It has been a while since my last update. After we lost Kisa in September, my husband and I have been trying to continue on with our routines.
Cleo, our big girl, had been slowing down for the last few years. She had cervical spondylomyelopathy, aka Wobblers syndrome. It was something we were aware of when we first adopted her, though the rescue had raised funds to provide her with surgery to resolve this ailment. Unfortunately, in 2018, we discovered that she was relapsing and was no longer a surgical candidate. Because of that, we could only manage the symptoms and try to draw out her decline.
We took her for her daily walks and she also received regular physical therapy. Sadly, in the last few months, we had been noticing further decline. She still had a ton of spunk and spirit, but her body was slowing down. I turned to a familiar handicapped equipment company for pets. Through them, we took all of the measurements to fit a custom wheelchair for Cleo, along with a new harness. Shortly afterward, as we noticed she was starting to get a bed sore, we ordered another additional hip harness with donut to relieve pressure and help this heal.
The wheelchair arrived and we began the slow acclimation process. We made adjustments, took pictures, and slowly acclimated her to a new piece of equipment. We had just started actual short intervals of wearing it when we noted another significant downturn. Shortly after I returned from a weekend vacation, she had a slue of very poor days. Even if she started fighting back, we could see her body was out of gas.
We made the heartbreaking decision to seek end of life services for the coming weekend. We made sure we filled her last days with all of her favorite things, and helped her where possible. She had such a happy heart, but we could still see she was struggling and tired, despite her happiness. She wanted to keep pushing on, even though it was clear her body couldn't.
We said goodbye on May 6th. She was in our home with her favorite people and toys. She went peacefully and we were devastated.
There's never enough time. Cleo was there for us for so many years. She brought us worlds of joy. She encouraged me to walk again when I had to relearn. She helped get me mobile again. She was sassy and playful, and so gentle. She passed just shy of turning 10. She crossed the bridge to join our other family we've recently lost. We lost our other dog Ryder in 2021, two of our cats, Kyra and Kisa, in 2022, and now we've lost her. She passed just 5 days before the anniversary of when we lost Ryder. Our hearts hurt. The house is quiet.
Our polydactyly cat, who adored her, grieved, too. He would look for her and sniff at areas she had been. He still looks for her.
Our family is smaller now.
**
In the art world, I haven't had the desire to work on art in a long time, outside of conventions. I finally started putting together a new art badge option for DenFur, and several other merchandise ideas. Unfortunately, I was not accepted to DenFur this year- barring a miraculous drop out of those who made it in. What frustrates me more, is that there isn't a technical "wait list". Even if someone backed out, unless they had similar offerings that I did, I would not get in. I had been a part of DenFur/RMFC, whatever you want to call it, since 2009.
**
Work has been pressing on me more and more. It's difficult when you find yourself in a position that pays well and has excellent job security, but you have a hard time even remotely swallowing the field anymore...
But when you look into other avenues of your passion and experience, and see poor paying or only temporary jobs, how can you justify leaving? Instead, you continue to swallow the misery and try not to show how unsettled you are, while praying an incredible opportunity comes along. Heaven forbid you show you're struggling and then get reprimanded for not "smiling more".
**
My heart hurts. I've lost so much of my own family in the last few years. I'm in a job that's questionably appreciative of my blood, sweat, and tears, and have few escapes from the mental barrage. It wears my body down so much to keep working as an officer, so it's hard to have the energy in my days off to get out and find a change of scenery. Not being able to get away only adds to the mental stress, and it turns into a self-perpetuating cycle. I'm tired. One of the only havens I've had in the last few months has actually been sewing.
My sister helped teach me some sewing basics. I started making my own squishmallow plushies. They bring me some happiness and provide a little outlet where I can tune out life and have a distraction, if only for a little bit.
I finally progressed to the point of creating customs to honor my first lost dog- who was the reason I turned back to collecting in the first place. It looks like now I'll be making myself some more, to honor Cleo... sooner than expected.
If you enjoy squishmallows, my personal customs and my special needs kiddos can also be seen on my Instagram: @ darkriyoko (without the space)
Love all of you and your support.
I am also feel the struggle of being in a secure but somewhat dead end job.
But hopefully things will start looking up as time marches on. Hopefully a spot opens at Denfur, would love to run into there :>