I haven't really had much of a heart to heart with anyone. I feel like at the very least I could let people know of my personal struggles with this journal.


I'm still sick as a dog. Though I feel better, the lung and bronchial infection I have is not going away easily, and so I need to rest. Hence why I haven't really been posting much of anything other than poems. I still plan to focus on "Poképhilia Story" and my other projects, so stay tuned.

But that's besides the point. This journal is mostly about my own musings as a writer, a content creator, storyteller, poet, and overall as someone who wants to give something to others in the form of an experience through literature that they can enjoy.

I sometimes feel as though my work is inadequate, like I'm not living up to the goal i have to improve on my craft. I sometimes notice this with commission work - which makes me feel especially guilty, since I want to give people the best work I can according to their desires and wishes. If people pay me for work, I need to give them their money's worth. And if I promise to get a project like "A Girl and Her Dragon" and "Poképhilia Story" done, I need to fulfill that promise and make sure to write it to the best of my ability. I do feel passionate for that project, and I'd love to see it blossom.

I love creating stories out of thin air. There's a certain appeal that comes from storytelling that draws me to it. But at the same time, I still feel like i'm letting both my readers, my followers, and myself down, as though I'm not putting my best forward to display. I know i have great potential. Not to brag or toot my own horn, but people have said some encouraging things about my work, and I figure those words must not be for nothing.

I always strive to create a living and breathing world, a place where the reader can get lost in and enjoy apart from their own lives. That's also the reason why I'm currently in the process of publishing a novel - which I am failing at. My novel is stagnating, even though I have it finished. I couldn't find a publisher who could take it on, and so now I'm focusing on improving it and making it as good as I can. But even that is starting to lose steam. I keep being held back by one thing after another, and it's really starting to get annoying.

I guess I also have an issue with Time. I try my best to manage my time, but no matter what I always seem to fall behind on my projects and assignments. And I HATE that! I feel like i have so little time to do all of the things that I want to do, and I end up rushing to finish projects. For me, rushing things never resulted in anything good, and I end up creating shoddy work as result. I know I should give myself more time with projects, or perhaps not even put a time constraint on my assignments and personal projects. But with how short the human life is, I just feel even more and more restless.

Overall, all of this has gotten me a bit down. Not depressed, just a bit disappointed. I feel like I could do so much more with my time and my skills. I'm trying my best to create stories that really appeal to people and perhaps are even relatable. I want to write stories that truly make people think, that cause them to feel the raw human emotion that comes from my words. But i feel as though I've yet to tap into the potential from that desire. It's frustrating to have so much potential and yet still feeling inadequate enough to draw from it.

But at the end of the day, I feel that people still enjoy my poems and stories. I want to do my best for those people who stick around, for those who want to read an emotional poem or read a gripping story. I want to be the type of writer worthy of being called a Master Storyteller, and I hope that through these various experiences that I can tap into my potential and get to writing the best stories and poems that I can.

I owe it to all of you guys, my friends, fans, and followers, for giving me the courage and drive to push forwards. I can't do this without your support, for I don't just write for myself but for an audience. Some of you even commission me for stories, and I'm utterly grateful for you business. And I hope to keep working on "Tales of Dyannor - A Girl and Her Dragon" and "Poképhilia Story" with all my heart and passion. I don't want to stop with these stories. I hope to expand on them even more.

And I hope that when I finish proofreading my novel and get it published that I can kickstart my goal towards being a professional writer and literary storyteller. I have a lot of plans for stories in the months and years to come, and I hope that you are all with me for when I get to posting them.

In the end, even though I feel upset over my quality and my inability to manage my time, I'm still not giving up. If I feel inadequate, then the only thing I can do is keep writing and improving. I hope to do my best and make the best stories i can for you all.

And with that, I thank you all for reading this journal. I know that this was a bit of a long read, and pretty much a rant, but I just wanted to get something off my chest. I hope to keep improving, and once I'm over my current sickness I'll immediately hop back on the horse and continue writing. I'm not going to slow down just because a somewhat serious lung infection toppled me for a couple of weeks.

I hope to have Chapter 2 of "A Girl and Her Dragon" ready for the weekend Immediately after Memorial Day, and I hope you all enjoy the flurry of quality that I'll add to the story. Also, expect a story to be out ofr "Poképhila Story" for Memorial Day. I have a lot of projects that I want to post this end of the month, and next month of June will come even more works from "Poképhilia Story".

Also, i might be working on a little soemthing for Pride Month featuring "Pokémon Story". It's still in the works, but all I can say is that it'll involve gay characters, and it'll be NSFW. I'll let your imaginations run wild as to what the story might end up becoming, gre heh. .-)

i hoep you won't be disappointed with what I post. And for those of you with commission work, rest assured that I'll get your commissions done. Just give me a few more days till i no longer have cold sweats and overall tiredness and malaise.

Let's see what the future brings. I have high hopes for all sorts of future projects.

Sincerely,
J.C. Solis