Stayed all day



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Dunno what to say... dont really feel 'out of it' nor do I feel as perky as a woodpecker in a forest. I'm trapped in that grey area that.. that myst that seems to engulf us all from time to time. Not sure where to go or who to talk to.... not really wanting to do so yet not wanting to be alone.

Is it time to reflect?

Is there some meaning or purpose behind my grey feelings? I think that the survival themed dreams are making another pass at me...

Ugh this sudden attack of grey... its got my mind more scattered then it usually is.



I remember when I first heard Moby's Natural Blues... I thought it was the best song ever and the fact is that I STILL DO! It's a song that grips you and comforts you deeply... more deeply then any song I've heard yet.

Strange isnt it?
That I should love a song that most reflects my mood most of the time... and perhaps the very outlook of my look. When people see me they say I look depressed or lonely.
Thats how they built me!

Who?

Everyone in school... every bully, jock, jerk, slut, meaningless fucktard. They molded my self image so that I wouldnt have to be fucked with. With out their influence I'd never have built myself up to look like someone who could tear your head off and shove it up your ass.

...

See what I'd told ya? I'm scattered... My mind cannot focus on one singularity for long. If it does it gets repetitive and is there for ejected from my skull. Listen to me talk about repartition while my headphones beat Natural Blues into my mind... over and over again.

Oh! By the way... I've got a new keyboard thanks to my friend Diag

Oh lordy now troubles so hard. Dont no body know my tourbles cept god.