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Overwhelmed...And Overcoming...
2 years ago
2023 So far has been a very busy one for work...lots of new clients with patients who need help, but not enough people who care enough to go around...and plenty of them who would rather tell a person in need whatever the want to get them off the phone...
The backlash has been...harsh and desperate. I've been doing my best to keep up with overtime and stay afloat with the workload, but I've been getting run down and sick. My entire team has been going downhill...and the team below mine.
Things look like they may be changing, though...and I'm hoping I can put a little DRAGON into the work environment and get people to start taking pride in what they do....instill passion and compassion again so we can make those in need feel like they are cared about.
I happen to be very good at caring, so I've been told...with the amount of pain and anguish I've been put through growing up and during most of my adult life, I cannot see allowing myself to fall into those same levels of misery again.
People pick up on the vibe that I've been through a lot...and they take strength in knowing that if someone else can keep breathing, keep surviving, then maybe there is hope that they can, too.
But sometimes, after needing to stay hours after the end of my shift just to make sure the jobs get done, and the people in need are tended to...it gets...overwhelming.
Then something happens to make me reflect and realize how far I've come through the darkness of depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and feeling six steps below humanity....
One of my dear friends decided to 'kidnap' me for a movie night with some other friends...they picked me up in the late afternoon...I nearly cancelled about a dozen times as my brain kept fighting me....trying to convince me that I wasn't worth being picked up, that my presence was offensive and completely unwanted...no matter what my virtues were.
Five of us total, and wonderful old Schnauzer Dog who cuddled up to me for half of the movie...licking old wounds...demanding pets...and being a very well-needed morale boost.
It was the first time I've been able to go over to a friend's place....in 12 years.
It is good to feel tears of joy....
It is good to feel like I've made actual progress.
-- Murphy
"Forward."
The backlash has been...harsh and desperate. I've been doing my best to keep up with overtime and stay afloat with the workload, but I've been getting run down and sick. My entire team has been going downhill...and the team below mine.
Things look like they may be changing, though...and I'm hoping I can put a little DRAGON into the work environment and get people to start taking pride in what they do....instill passion and compassion again so we can make those in need feel like they are cared about.
I happen to be very good at caring, so I've been told...with the amount of pain and anguish I've been put through growing up and during most of my adult life, I cannot see allowing myself to fall into those same levels of misery again.
People pick up on the vibe that I've been through a lot...and they take strength in knowing that if someone else can keep breathing, keep surviving, then maybe there is hope that they can, too.
But sometimes, after needing to stay hours after the end of my shift just to make sure the jobs get done, and the people in need are tended to...it gets...overwhelming.
Then something happens to make me reflect and realize how far I've come through the darkness of depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and feeling six steps below humanity....
One of my dear friends decided to 'kidnap' me for a movie night with some other friends...they picked me up in the late afternoon...I nearly cancelled about a dozen times as my brain kept fighting me....trying to convince me that I wasn't worth being picked up, that my presence was offensive and completely unwanted...no matter what my virtues were.
Five of us total, and wonderful old Schnauzer Dog who cuddled up to me for half of the movie...licking old wounds...demanding pets...and being a very well-needed morale boost.
It was the first time I've been able to go over to a friend's place....in 12 years.
It is good to feel tears of joy....
It is good to feel like I've made actual progress.
-- Murphy
"Forward."
I'm glad you had that happen to you, that you have friends who'll do that sort of thing. :}
The kidnapping was in fact very awesome. In fact, I was 'kidnapped' (Dragon-Napped?) this past Saturday and got introduced to Stranger Things; got to watch the first five episodes and I'll be looking forward to catching the next few.
There have also been shake-ups at work to try to get everyone some relief, and I've been doing my best to provide some morale boosts, which includes posting Pride Dragons each day...many are delighted that they're getting represented and yet others just like how pretty the dragons are. Either way, they've been giving people something to smile about.
Had to take a half day today, though: Bad thunderstorms and screaming kids at 3am, along with back and leg pain from being jolted awake didn't help my physical being. Hibernated for a few hours and now I'm much better, and heating up some roasted chicken and dumplings...comfort cooking in a crock makes for a delicious dragon dinner.
Hope things are going well on your end.
-- Murphy
The Pride Dragons sound lovely, good on you.
Mmm, I could go for some dumplings right about now.
All's well here, thanks :}===<