So things haven't been going well for me over the last several months. Not at all. It's to the point where I've physically started hurting myself, not that often or badly, but enough to leave a few small marks on my body. My mind drifts to dark places, anything from offing myself to offing those around me. My life at home isn't the greatest, with a family that has no idea what I go through and doesn't even bother trying to comfort me when I'm having a rough day. I constantly breakdown into tears out of frustration anger and sadness at work, to the point where I'm sent home. The few people I've had in my life who did support me either ghost me or have dumped me in my time(s) of need. My recent ex is a prime example of this. Not only did she leave me when I needed her most in my life but she moved on and found someone new the day afterwards. I don't know if she planned on dumping me from the beginning or was already with someone behind my back. Either way it doesn't help. I'd just like to find that special someone, start my own life, away from a family that doesn't help me, away from the state that's full of more bad memories than good ones, away from all the scumbags and shitheads who do nothing but make want to give up on life. But no. I'm not destined for "greatness" by the great powers that be, either God or something else. I'm just here to suffer, and be miserable, no matter how hard I try to be happy. It's just never enough