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For those who might by wondering...
2 years ago
I haven't been very active these past few years, not just on FA but on the Internet in general. There are many reasons for that, the first one being that I don't care much for online interaction to begin with. Which might sound strange because I'm always curious to learn about people no matter how mundane they think they are. But well, I'm the kind of person who tends to keep to himself, no one else to blame but me on that front. I realize I'm not the only one in that case and it's always hard to share a part of yourself with a stranger, and you gotta make some efforts to get over your insecurities, nothing new there.
Secondly, the Internet is not what it used to be. It might make me sound like an old fart (that I am) but I miss the old internet from 15-20 years ago, when little (too little) old me started going online. Part of me tries to tell itself it's pure nostalgia, but honestly I'm not entirely convinced. Social media is a pain in the ass and people there have never been so lonely and miserable. I'm not one for perpetual indignation, and I'm just there to have fun and share my art. The furry community nowadays seems to consist mostly, bare a few exceptions, of a bunch of speds. I dislike Twitter which seems to be the go-to site for artists nowadays but many of the site's shortcomings are present everywhere else (by the way, follow me on Twitter @ragdishnak, I lost my followers after some shenanigans, I'll post stuff there too).
Thirdly, I'm conflicted about erotic art. I used to draw quite a bit of it, for the simple reason that I couldn't be arsed to draw the same character more than once, so pinups were the way to go : you didn't have to draw clothing, backgrounds, poses, interaction with other characters and all that jazz... However I don't really want to be known as a porn artist, and it's not even what drew me to art in the first place, ideally I want to be able to tell stories about my characters. Not only can porn put off some people, but the crowd it attracts tends to not be interested in the regular stuff.
But again those are just convenient excuses. Even though I never did take this hobby as seriously as I should have, I haven't stopped drawing all that time. Depending on my mood, I've been more or less active, always hoping to finally come up with that big project that I could finally be proud of, but alas never it came to fruition. Finally, the reason I never post anything is simply that I'm never satisfied with how my drawings turn out, I get excited for a while and then a details ruins everything, or I draw a great sketch but lose interest when it's time to ink or color it, and time after time, even though you learned that you should take on smaller projects, it's like your ability to stay focused keeps diminishing...
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this journal, but the announcement is this : I'm going to post those half-finished drawings, even though I'm not entirely satisfied with them. Not only that, but I'll try to post some of my 3D work and maybe some of the games I've been working on.
Thank you all for reading my ramblings and I hope you enjoy my art at least to some extent.
Secondly, the Internet is not what it used to be. It might make me sound like an old fart (that I am) but I miss the old internet from 15-20 years ago, when little (too little) old me started going online. Part of me tries to tell itself it's pure nostalgia, but honestly I'm not entirely convinced. Social media is a pain in the ass and people there have never been so lonely and miserable. I'm not one for perpetual indignation, and I'm just there to have fun and share my art. The furry community nowadays seems to consist mostly, bare a few exceptions, of a bunch of speds. I dislike Twitter which seems to be the go-to site for artists nowadays but many of the site's shortcomings are present everywhere else (by the way, follow me on Twitter @ragdishnak, I lost my followers after some shenanigans, I'll post stuff there too).
Thirdly, I'm conflicted about erotic art. I used to draw quite a bit of it, for the simple reason that I couldn't be arsed to draw the same character more than once, so pinups were the way to go : you didn't have to draw clothing, backgrounds, poses, interaction with other characters and all that jazz... However I don't really want to be known as a porn artist, and it's not even what drew me to art in the first place, ideally I want to be able to tell stories about my characters. Not only can porn put off some people, but the crowd it attracts tends to not be interested in the regular stuff.
But again those are just convenient excuses. Even though I never did take this hobby as seriously as I should have, I haven't stopped drawing all that time. Depending on my mood, I've been more or less active, always hoping to finally come up with that big project that I could finally be proud of, but alas never it came to fruition. Finally, the reason I never post anything is simply that I'm never satisfied with how my drawings turn out, I get excited for a while and then a details ruins everything, or I draw a great sketch but lose interest when it's time to ink or color it, and time after time, even though you learned that you should take on smaller projects, it's like your ability to stay focused keeps diminishing...
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this journal, but the announcement is this : I'm going to post those half-finished drawings, even though I'm not entirely satisfied with them. Not only that, but I'll try to post some of my 3D work and maybe some of the games I've been working on.
Thank you all for reading my ramblings and I hope you enjoy my art at least to some extent.
Twitter is useful for some stuff but sucks for art on an ergonomic standpoint. However for me, I'd say it's more the pressure to build your brand, post daily and forced socialization, otherwise you get buried by the algorithm. Honestly it's a hassle when you just wanna do that as a hobby. And as much as I'd like to be above that, it's always gut-wrenching to see a piece you were proud of get completely ignored. So I don't know what's the solution, on one hand it makes sense to be present on a social media with a broad user base, as opposed to something dedicated solely to artists or furries, on the other hand, you're drowned in the crowd and unless you manage to go viral, it's hard to be seen.
I get you for the inking part, never been able to get that correctly after 15 years I've been drawing. It's pretty frustrating, and sometimes I have to remember how happy I feel while I'm working on a piece. It's therapeutic first, and the clout comes second. Comparing yourself to other artists, you often have the wrong expectations of what your art should look like. I believe that's the case for a lot of things in our lives and that's how people make themselves miserable most of the time...
I remember having played one of your games a while ago, it was a dating sim if I'm not mistaken, I thought it was pretty interesting. I haven't used RPG Maker in a while (I started with 95, 2000 and XP) I remember last time I tried something I found it to be pretty frustrating, so kudos to you if you manage to make something good out of it. Especially if you manage to come out with finished projects, well that's great, I've never been able to do that. I mostly use Unity, since I'm a developper by trade I like to be able to code my own stuff. I've been getting into 3D as well, even though I haven't posted a lot of that yet. Anyway, I completely understand you on the procrastination, I mostly come out with half-finished tech demos which are sitting on a hard drive, probably covered in webs and dust, but I don't lose hope... That being said I'd love to hear more about your stuff in general and maybe share tips and experiences about making games, hit me up on Discord one day if you feel like it! Sharing ideas can be a good incentive to get back into things.
Anyway, like you said it feels good to write those things down, but it's better to know that someone read it, so thank you for your comment.
Social media sucks, but I find that as long as you build the discipline to treat it like one of many tools rather than your sole platform, and don't let yourself get sucked into the attention-vortex or endless scene-scandals, it is pretty tolerable. I try to keep it just art-focused and avoid the sensationalist news & drama-bait (as much as one can, anyways) and from there I try to direct my more dedicated supporters to my mailing list, Twitch channel, Discord and (currently under reconstruction) website which are my main activity hubs where there's no algorithmic noise at play.
So yeah as long as you use Twitter rather than letting Twitter use YOU, and know when to ignore it, it's really not all bad.
I feel you on the erotic art question too. With drawing porn/erotica there is a risk of building an audience that follows you solely for the lewd shots, and then realizing that's all they're there for when you have a tamer product or project that your audience suddenly doesn't turn up for.
Without naming names I've had conversations with very well known porn artists who wished they could do something like a more story/adventure/character-driven comic, but their audience would have zero interest and it'd be like starting over from scratch again. So they remain stuck with drawing what perhaps makes more money in the immediate term, while their lifelong dream dies.
Personally I focus solely on high-concept story-driven subject matter for a PG-rated audience. I might draw and post something that's perhaps "beach pose" levels of sexy, with swimwear or underwear type of coverage. Usually it's just for figure drawing practice, or maybe a moment in a larger story. Something that won't be uncomfortable to my more 'mainstream' or non-furry audience, but still appealing for the audience who appreciate an attractively-drawn character on top of a sincere story. Eros is a huge driving force in my life and my imagination, I just feel that it's most powerful when artfully veiled in mystery, rather than explicit.
Anyways I love your work!! Really glad I stumbled upon it today when I just happened to see you engaging with one of my tweets while I was in the gym.
Ah well, I'm getting to terms with using social media, I suppose it has its perks. The thing that bothers me the most is the shallowness of relationships, especially when you're trying to "build your brand". That and I've always been a bad salesman, really, especially when I'm the product. So I'm gonna take your approach to it and see where it goes.
Yes, drama is unavoidable, and I have to admit it's always entertaining to watch a good trashfire... as long as it's from afar. But people are what they are and after some time, you learn not to expect too much from them and be forgiving of their shortcomings, I suppose there's no changing human nature.
I like the concept of Eros powering your imagination, and you put your finger on something interesting. When I drew erotic art, while I enjoy the process, I often feel like I'm wasting my time and I could put that energy towards something better. If you can sublimate your pulsions to power your creativity instead of just putting your energy into porn it can add a lot to your work. Otherwise you end up like those artists who feel trapped in what they do.
And anyway, porn has become so uniquitous nowadays that's it's lost its luster and shock factor. I think a family-friendly story with furry characters is more subversive than something X-rated.
Not to fanboy too hard, but yes, I've been familiar with WYIT for a while. I think I first saw you on one of Doug TenNapel's stream a few years ago, when he used to do them and I've been following you from afar ever since. You've got that touch of originality that I wish was more common among the artists I follow and your art has always been a big inspiration. Well, I'm not very skilled with compliments, so I'm stopping there...
And thank you for your kind words, getting appreciation from an artist you look up to is a big boost! Oh, and also for reminding me I should go to the gym as well...
For example the block happy artists. I mean I've been blocked for really stupid reasons including some artist even shadowbanning/blocking me when I didn't even interact with them. Some people block as soon as the conversation has a hiccup (rather than trying to fix things) which is really disappointing.
Also my art and journals have been insulted and on top of that I've been betrayed by a person that was once a close friend here.
The community really needs to change and I wish people would acknowledge that. I wish people acknowledged how vitriolic online art communities can get.
Feels like people in general just want to have their heads up in the clouds and pretend that everyone gets along.
There are a lot of adults on this site but not a lot of grownups (mature adults).
Anyways hope this wasn't some uncalled for rant.
The issue is that if you wear your opinions on your sleeve, some people aren't going to give you the benefit of the doubt and will reject you straight away. And with how polarized the community is nowadays, there are things that just won't fly.
I feel for what you've been through, but on another hand it's better to have those people out of your life rather than staying in an uneasy relationship with them. And as for the insults and nasty comments, it's just better to ignore them. The only thing those people expect is a reaction from you, and frankly they're not worth your time.