. . . Uhm, that's not happened to me.

I'd suggest mebbe hydrogen peroxide to mebbe foam 'em out.

How do you do it? Electric trimmer, scissors, overaffectionate and nippy dog? etc.

I use an electric, m'self.

Me too. :|

Weird.

I've got a face like steel wool myself.

I suppose that using a REALLY good razor (Like one of those three-bladed ones) and then going over your face with an electric afterward may help a bit.

And as for cleaning your nails, the best bet is to avoid getting stuff under them in the first place. but I've had a bit of luck by carefully moving the edge of a set of nail clippers under my nails- without closing them of course.

Otherwise, your best bet is to simply wash your hands and wait it out, the natural growth of your nails will force most things out from under them.

I hope that helps.

So a better razor on the cheeks and electric on the beard, or am I misreading you?

I have a nice beard. I don't want to give it up. :B

Oh, also, the hair splinters aren't under my fingernails. They're in the skin of my fingertips. You know, between ridges of my fingerprints (they're also brittle and can't be pulled out in one piece). I know it'll all eventually grow out, but until it does, that shit hurts.

Oh, now I understand. Ouch.

Hm, maybe vinegar, or a similar acid can soften the hairs in your fingers. Try putting some vinegar in a balloon and using a rubber band to secure it to your finger for a half an hour or so.

Oh lord, acid-filled finger-condoms.

It sounds hilarious tbh. Maybe I'll try that.

Hey don't knock it. It's also the best way to treat an ingrown toenail. :)