Today (Journal's Date), it is the 4th cat I've lost in my life. The 1st 1 was only looking for my father, he didn't really cared about the others, but my dad was the 1 he was always looking for, he was full black with green eyes, but after my father's death in a full individual car accident (the vehicle had lost all controlls by itself), he succomb to depression, and died some years later by isolating himself, because ever since he disappeared, he never covered the idea of the others humans, even though my sister and I were always looking for him, same for my mother. The second has been brought to us by a cleaner lady my mom contracted to clean our former house in the Oise department, as a contribution for how we interacted with her. At 1st he was very easely scared, but adapted very soon to us, and always purred even for slight strokes, and even goes for licking our hair by hisself, but he got neutered a bit too late, as sometimes he took clothes and was like masturbation. But he contracted a fatal Pancreas illness at 14 years old, the entire family agreed to euthanasia, to allow him peace, he became a foster father after the 4Th I've just lost was a stray who took refuge to our home and got impregnanted and release kittens and came back to our house with 2, he quickly accomodate his former territory to the new comers, and he got loved by all of them, and he teached them how to behave toward us, and the male kitten was very close to him, that he maded a big and loud meowing to pay his tribute to him. The 3rd was was this male kitten, but we have no idea of what really happenned to him, at 1st, he was easely scared by anything and his mother had to comes to his rescue, even toward huge dogs who were just barking trying to get just a closer look to them, a 1st idea spreaded by a rumors was a psycho looking for black cats and abducting them, or he did get lost by the background who lead to a huge field, but yet, no Idea, but considered dead anyway, as he was with his elder, the 1 who loved strokes. The 4th I've lost today was his mother, she was around 17-18 years old, she was accomodated to allergy, but when I've arrived to the vet clinic, there were delays because a pregnant dog had birth troubles and had to get an operation, and an inburts emergency when 3 peoples dragged their dogs who had troubles and a blue tongue, we were like, did it got bitten or sting by mosquito, wasp or snake ? And turns out it succomb to an extensive exposition to sunlight as he has been kept on an exposed balcony, and we have high temperature here too. But anyways, she meowed in pain during the night that I had troubles to sleep (and it's understandable), yet she kept meowing at the same pace, but after she has with a vet, it was already a lost case: lesions, kidneys and liver deficiency, dehydrated (even though she tried to drink) and couldn't wash herself, no more strenght for real. I still have the 5th, her daughter, but she turn out 16 this year, so, only a matter of years (for the best) before she might also goes for the final road. I shall take some time from SFM working to recover from this lost, because she was (the 4th loss) a real attaching cat, anyone that will lay it hand to her, she mainly goes to it, especially if she is accomodated to them: my mother, my sister, my great-aunt and me (as I am the 1 who gaved her her name), as she was also looking for sitting on people's thights and bags. I'm not sure if when the last 1 will pass away I'll take any new, maybe time will tell me if I shall do so or not.

End of the message.