FA+
Shop
My limit has been reached
2 years ago
General
I promised people in discord I would try to write this journal up after one of the longest angriest rants I think I've ever gone on. Will try to be a man of my word, though a lot of it may be repeated from there...
So this is where we are, huh?
I've discovered over the last year or so that I am the kind of artist who thrives on comments. Favourites, watches, shares, I appreciate it all, but it doesn't do anything for my mental health or keep me invested in what I create. Comments do. Discussion does. I stagnate without them. That's my social endorphin rush, that's how I engage. That is the one good thing about this site. You all do that here.
Back in may/june, I made the decision that after FA pulled unquestionably the dumbest thing it's ever done, my primary account, for the time being... would be twitter. I have avoided using twitter besides the occasional person using my handle when posting their stuff. But if that kind of engagement is what I'm after, that sites sure got it in spades! There's people there, comments there, my kind of engagement there. I can ignore the toxic side and have a passing semblance of fun along the way. And I did...
For about 3 hours on july 1st.
I then spent 3 DAYS locked out of my account, unable to view or reply to anything, while people wondered why I had a hard time laughing at rate limit porn. It's only gotten worse as the month drags on. Despite the hardships, I'm still trying to stay. Trying to enjoying my time on there. Trying to find the steam to keep it going. And I wake up, logon every day, and see another person or artist I know and respect flee twitter.
Back... To furaffinity.
How fucking quickly we forget huh? Yall just forget what they said in 2014? You all just forget what they said in 2016? Yall just forget what they said TWO MONTHS AGO?
This website is cancer. Literal. It's a drug, it's bad for me, and I am addicted. I have not wanted to be associated here for nearly a decade because of the shit lack of ethics from the cult running it... But you all comment here. I tell myself every time I upload it's going to be the last, "find me elsewhere", and then I get a string of comments on it and I feel compelled to stay, to upload again.
Someone in my server told me I should stop chasing that endorphin. I'm not sure I'm the kind of person who can. It might involve me having to disappear across everything, which is getting easier and easier to do. Nearly every website available on the current internet is dead, run by baboons or has some sordid fucked up history or catch behind it. Sometimes all four at once.
But this bridge burns first.
I'm done. I'm done posting here. I can't do this anymore. Sorry I can't pack up my entire lifes work and move it from one site to another on a whim every 3 weeks. I can't continue posting to a site run by repugnant fucks and try to keep a morale highground. I'm not rushing back with my tail between my legs, amongst less charitable places. I'm not praising FA as the lesser of two evils.
I'M OUT.
I'm scrapping everything again for the last time and I will try to leave this page an abandoned husk like my others. But if I get this journal up, if it doesn't get through to people, or if I can't commit myself to no longer cave in and check here... then I am deactivating. Then it's out of my hands forever.
As an aside, educating furaffinity is done, everywhere. Cancelled after 1 page, yeah that tracks for me. When I first thought that comic up, the idea was to get progressively angrier and angrier on every page until the final one where I was apathetic. Calm. At peace. Because FA is irrelevant and can no longer hurt me or you. Was half right. I can't work on it now because it's no longer coming from a place of humor. It's right back to coming from a place of anger because no-one could commit to staking the vampires' heart. Not even the vent art I've been doing lately has got me like that.
Maybe somewhere down the road I'll see the funny side again. Maybe in 10 months when neer and luffy hope you forgot again and ban feral art or babyfur or macro/micro, and you can all throw that shiny apollo beachball at my target painted head.
Find me elsewhere if I'm somewhere that can be found. Fuck this place.
So this is where we are, huh?
I've discovered over the last year or so that I am the kind of artist who thrives on comments. Favourites, watches, shares, I appreciate it all, but it doesn't do anything for my mental health or keep me invested in what I create. Comments do. Discussion does. I stagnate without them. That's my social endorphin rush, that's how I engage. That is the one good thing about this site. You all do that here.
Back in may/june, I made the decision that after FA pulled unquestionably the dumbest thing it's ever done, my primary account, for the time being... would be twitter. I have avoided using twitter besides the occasional person using my handle when posting their stuff. But if that kind of engagement is what I'm after, that sites sure got it in spades! There's people there, comments there, my kind of engagement there. I can ignore the toxic side and have a passing semblance of fun along the way. And I did...
For about 3 hours on july 1st.
I then spent 3 DAYS locked out of my account, unable to view or reply to anything, while people wondered why I had a hard time laughing at rate limit porn. It's only gotten worse as the month drags on. Despite the hardships, I'm still trying to stay. Trying to enjoying my time on there. Trying to find the steam to keep it going. And I wake up, logon every day, and see another person or artist I know and respect flee twitter.
Back... To furaffinity.
How fucking quickly we forget huh? Yall just forget what they said in 2014? You all just forget what they said in 2016? Yall just forget what they said TWO MONTHS AGO?
This website is cancer. Literal. It's a drug, it's bad for me, and I am addicted. I have not wanted to be associated here for nearly a decade because of the shit lack of ethics from the cult running it... But you all comment here. I tell myself every time I upload it's going to be the last, "find me elsewhere", and then I get a string of comments on it and I feel compelled to stay, to upload again.
Someone in my server told me I should stop chasing that endorphin. I'm not sure I'm the kind of person who can. It might involve me having to disappear across everything, which is getting easier and easier to do. Nearly every website available on the current internet is dead, run by baboons or has some sordid fucked up history or catch behind it. Sometimes all four at once.
But this bridge burns first.
I'm done. I'm done posting here. I can't do this anymore. Sorry I can't pack up my entire lifes work and move it from one site to another on a whim every 3 weeks. I can't continue posting to a site run by repugnant fucks and try to keep a morale highground. I'm not rushing back with my tail between my legs, amongst less charitable places. I'm not praising FA as the lesser of two evils.
I'M OUT.
I'm scrapping everything again for the last time and I will try to leave this page an abandoned husk like my others. But if I get this journal up, if it doesn't get through to people, or if I can't commit myself to no longer cave in and check here... then I am deactivating. Then it's out of my hands forever.
As an aside, educating furaffinity is done, everywhere. Cancelled after 1 page, yeah that tracks for me. When I first thought that comic up, the idea was to get progressively angrier and angrier on every page until the final one where I was apathetic. Calm. At peace. Because FA is irrelevant and can no longer hurt me or you. Was half right. I can't work on it now because it's no longer coming from a place of humor. It's right back to coming from a place of anger because no-one could commit to staking the vampires' heart. Not even the vent art I've been doing lately has got me like that.
Maybe somewhere down the road I'll see the funny side again. Maybe in 10 months when neer and luffy hope you forgot again and ban feral art or babyfur or macro/micro, and you can all throw that shiny apollo beachball at my target painted head.
Find me elsewhere if I'm somewhere that can be found. Fuck this place.
I hope you find peace in the future, some are struggling for their whole lives.
I for my part decided to show the media and the 'get yourself a girlfriend' agenda the finger.
Socially speaking, I have failed decades ago, the humanity and myself had been walking different paths.
First I fought that revelation but now I am beginning to accept the hard truth: I am a lone wolf, an outsider.
Even Charles Manson had multiple relationships which proves one hard fact to me: I never was a human being but a robot in a human shell.
Anyway, good luck with your future path, I drown my worries deep under my hobby schedules.
Wherever you go from here now, I wish you nothing but the best.
My belief is that furries will fragment and segment off to sites or platforms they can tolerate, right or wrong.
Once divided the central hub will disappear, then a new one will arise needing to convince people to again leave their spaces.