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Updated strategy: taking a break from chat programs.
2 years ago
I have continued to do a lot of thinking since my last journal, and have drawn up a few more conclusions and a new strategy that I hope will make art happen again. I can't believe I didn't come to these conclusions sooner. I guess it really did take multiple rambling journals to finally figure this stuff out.
Now that I’ve completed all refunds and closed as much person-to-person business as I can*, I am going to take a break from all live chat services (Discord, Telegram, WhatsApp, etc.) for an extended period of time. It won't be forever, but I'm thinking two to five months would be extremely beneficial. There are roughly four reasons for this.
Reason 1: I cannot respond to direct messages fast enough.
Reason 2: My primary way of making money is physical labor, which further curtails my overall availability.
Reason 3: I am not getting enough sleep due to talking to people in different time zones.
Reason 4: Due to all the above, I am not making art. I want to make art again.
Reason 1: I cannot respond to direct messages fast enough.
I got completely overwhelmed with messages about three years ago and it’s only gotten worse since then. I’m sorry. I just can’t keep up. Some people can do an internet-based social life, but it seems that I'm bafflingly bad at it.
It's like I'm trying to spin plates on sticks, but hundreds of plates are falling and shattering all around me, and I'm left bewildered and unable to act.
I’m going to take a break away from chat programs and will only use them again if I need to have a voice conference with someone or in some other rare circumstance. I'll return when I can and have gotten my art under control. I will continue to use email, notes, and some DMs, although please keep the above in mind and remember that I have a weirdly hard time with these things.
Reason 2: My primary way of making money is physical labor, which further curtails my overall availability.
In order to make my monthly bills, I’m now doing all physical labor jobs and computer building / repair. These jobs just leave me with no time to relax or talk to people when I’m home. After a heavy landscaping day, I’m usually so tired that I collapse into bed.
Moreover, it’s especially hot right now, making it even more difficult to maintain satisfying conversations due to physical exhaustion. This will, however, probably get more manageable in the fall when things cool down.
Reason 3: I am not getting enough sleep due to talking to people in different time zones.
I need to be getting better sleep. Unfortunately, so many people are in a much earlier time zone than I am. This is forcing myself to stay up late after I get back from labor work, thus preventing me from sleeping. I love talking to my friends around the world, but I'd better make sure I'm sleeping, too.
I hope you know that I’m not saying “I don’t want to talk to people in different time zones anymore,” I am instead saying “I need to sleep so that I can make money for bills.”
Reason 4: Due to all the above, I am not making art. I want to make art again.
I’m not making personal comics, and it’s killing me. Comic art was my favorite and most useful diary, I think, and I did severe damage by depriving myself of this activity. Also, people don’t want to hear me talk about how I’m struggling. They don’t want to read these stupid journals. They want to see my art, and I agree with them, honestly.
Therefore, I need to get my creative projects back up and running. I’m going to throw myself into a series of personal stuff, specifically a new porn comic. Once I get a few dozen pages under my belt, I’ll be returning to Kosma, too.
I also have several projects I want to do for friends, projects I've been daydreaming about for years now. Once I get a few personal things finished, I'll pivot to those, too.
-- Concluding thoughts --
I’ll be making this my last personal journal for sometime as I shift to art.
In the meantime, I’ve been seeing a large amount of real-life success due to my daily efforts. I have resolved all my debts, I have lost 70 pounds, and I’ve been learning random little tricks from a bunch of different trade skills as I help on construction projects, such as plumbing, carpentry, welding and LAN maintenance. I'm not a pro by any stretch. Just a skilled layman who's ready to learn more. That is just to say, I'm relieved to at least report that the worst of my mental problems seem to be over. Not all, but many. This break should help me get over even more of them, thus unlocking more potential for art. That's the idea, at least.
Furthermore, seriously, I cannot wait to share more of my upcoming porn comic. I have not been this excited about a personal project in a long time, and it feels so good to have fun with my own characters and stories again. I'll be advertising the Patreon links, soon.
So, here's the plan: If I make comics, I can boost my Patreon and my income. With that boosted income, I can rely less on landscaping work and rely more on comic work. If I can get to a point where I'm ONLY making comics, I will go into overdrive. I want Kosma back. Bad. Once I have a ton of comics up, I'll have much more free time and be in a much better position to leap around chat services. I don't know what the time table will look like, but I'm gonna go for it.
My hope is that this will be a win-win for everyone.
* If I have NOT refunded you or you have NOT heard from me or some business is STILL open, please email me at Corvuspointer[at]gmail.com
Now that I’ve completed all refunds and closed as much person-to-person business as I can*, I am going to take a break from all live chat services (Discord, Telegram, WhatsApp, etc.) for an extended period of time. It won't be forever, but I'm thinking two to five months would be extremely beneficial. There are roughly four reasons for this.
Reason 1: I cannot respond to direct messages fast enough.
Reason 2: My primary way of making money is physical labor, which further curtails my overall availability.
Reason 3: I am not getting enough sleep due to talking to people in different time zones.
Reason 4: Due to all the above, I am not making art. I want to make art again.
Reason 1: I cannot respond to direct messages fast enough.
I got completely overwhelmed with messages about three years ago and it’s only gotten worse since then. I’m sorry. I just can’t keep up. Some people can do an internet-based social life, but it seems that I'm bafflingly bad at it.
It's like I'm trying to spin plates on sticks, but hundreds of plates are falling and shattering all around me, and I'm left bewildered and unable to act.
I’m going to take a break away from chat programs and will only use them again if I need to have a voice conference with someone or in some other rare circumstance. I'll return when I can and have gotten my art under control. I will continue to use email, notes, and some DMs, although please keep the above in mind and remember that I have a weirdly hard time with these things.
Reason 2: My primary way of making money is physical labor, which further curtails my overall availability.
In order to make my monthly bills, I’m now doing all physical labor jobs and computer building / repair. These jobs just leave me with no time to relax or talk to people when I’m home. After a heavy landscaping day, I’m usually so tired that I collapse into bed.
Moreover, it’s especially hot right now, making it even more difficult to maintain satisfying conversations due to physical exhaustion. This will, however, probably get more manageable in the fall when things cool down.
Reason 3: I am not getting enough sleep due to talking to people in different time zones.
I need to be getting better sleep. Unfortunately, so many people are in a much earlier time zone than I am. This is forcing myself to stay up late after I get back from labor work, thus preventing me from sleeping. I love talking to my friends around the world, but I'd better make sure I'm sleeping, too.
I hope you know that I’m not saying “I don’t want to talk to people in different time zones anymore,” I am instead saying “I need to sleep so that I can make money for bills.”
Reason 4: Due to all the above, I am not making art. I want to make art again.
I’m not making personal comics, and it’s killing me. Comic art was my favorite and most useful diary, I think, and I did severe damage by depriving myself of this activity. Also, people don’t want to hear me talk about how I’m struggling. They don’t want to read these stupid journals. They want to see my art, and I agree with them, honestly.
Therefore, I need to get my creative projects back up and running. I’m going to throw myself into a series of personal stuff, specifically a new porn comic. Once I get a few dozen pages under my belt, I’ll be returning to Kosma, too.
I also have several projects I want to do for friends, projects I've been daydreaming about for years now. Once I get a few personal things finished, I'll pivot to those, too.
-- Concluding thoughts --
I’ll be making this my last personal journal for sometime as I shift to art.
In the meantime, I’ve been seeing a large amount of real-life success due to my daily efforts. I have resolved all my debts, I have lost 70 pounds, and I’ve been learning random little tricks from a bunch of different trade skills as I help on construction projects, such as plumbing, carpentry, welding and LAN maintenance. I'm not a pro by any stretch. Just a skilled layman who's ready to learn more. That is just to say, I'm relieved to at least report that the worst of my mental problems seem to be over. Not all, but many. This break should help me get over even more of them, thus unlocking more potential for art. That's the idea, at least.
Furthermore, seriously, I cannot wait to share more of my upcoming porn comic. I have not been this excited about a personal project in a long time, and it feels so good to have fun with my own characters and stories again. I'll be advertising the Patreon links, soon.
So, here's the plan: If I make comics, I can boost my Patreon and my income. With that boosted income, I can rely less on landscaping work and rely more on comic work. If I can get to a point where I'm ONLY making comics, I will go into overdrive. I want Kosma back. Bad. Once I have a ton of comics up, I'll have much more free time and be in a much better position to leap around chat services. I don't know what the time table will look like, but I'm gonna go for it.
My hope is that this will be a win-win for everyone.
* If I have NOT refunded you or you have NOT heard from me or some business is STILL open, please email me at Corvuspointer[at]gmail.com
Sorry you got overwhelmed, hope you can focus on you and feel better.
Congratulations on paying the debts. That is not a step to be sneered at.
Anyway, take as much time as you need to do what you gotta do and set your boundaries how ya gotta. In any case, I'll be on here and around!
I can't wait to watch your next comic.
Take care Corvus, and don't give up! ❤️
Be well so you can do your best when you focus on your art! 💪💪
Go forward, live your life, and truly experience greatness in your craft and skills!