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Half Way through Universal Studios CA
2 years ago
General
This is a followup to my birthday bitchfest back in March: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51524958/ where I cried about having a terrible experience at the park that pretends to rival itself to Disneyland. What a joke. This journal will be pretty much the same. So if you don't wanna read about a 35 year old man child ranting about a children's theme park, I suggest you click off of this and do something better with your time. Okay, here goes:
I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place when it came to getting this annual pass. I've been to the park 6 or 7 times now and every visit has either been miserable or moderately okay at best. It's hard to have a good time when you look at the prices of everything being 3 times the price it would anywhere else. And I live in California where fast food is now $20 a person give or take. Like the normal price of things is already ridiculous, these are straight up clown prices. On top of that, I made the mistake of not paying a little extra for the Gold Pass. I have the Silver Pass which does not cover parking, which is $30 just for general. If you want the fancy parking that's right in front of Citywalk... that shit will run you about $80-$100. Just to park your fucking car! You're not even inside the park yet!
Last time the roomies and I went, we all ended up getting Covid. Mostly because the park is ALWAYS packed! No matter what day we seem to go on, it is always jam fucking packed! But also, Californians LOVE to pretend that other people do not exist! They just look in the other direction and slam right into you! If I don't see it, it doesn't exist! Let me open mouth cough right in your face! Sure I'm sick and should have stayed home, but this is our family vacation! I'm not gonna let a little Covid get me down! So yeah, the idea of going back to the park was dwindling pretty thin at this point. Not the first time going got us sick either.
But Universal is sly fox, ya see. They sent me an email declaring that September is "Annual Passholder Appreciation Month" and if you come to the park before the 15th, you will receive a free Princess Peach magnet. Oh Universal, you naughty girl. Enticing me with promises of free Princess Peach swag. How did you know it was my only weakness! Needless to say, the bait worked! I talked the roomies into going this Sunday, but they wanted to go on Friday in the hopes that the park wouldn't be as packed. NOPE! It was almost as packed as when Nintendo World first opened! Could have sworn school just started but oh fucking well! Now to Universal's credit... I was fully expecting them to not have the free magnet and just be like, "Fresh out, tough shit." But no, they actually had it! So thank you for not lying directly to my face for once, Universal darling. Here it is in all of it's glory: https://twitter.com/OTACON_XIX/stat.....51101441671193
But surely we didn't drive all the way down here just to grab a free magnet, so naturally we spent the rest of the day at the park... in 95 degree weather. I don't know if you've ever been with a gigantic group of people in 95 degree desert heat... but it feels like being inside a literal oven ALL day. Not the parks fault, but the lines on top of being in direct sunlight was just painful. We were most excited to see what kind of Halloween decorations the park would be smothered in. It's nearly fall, time to put up those Halloween and harvest decorations, right!? I mean holy shit, Disneyland changes entire rides for Halloween, so what have you got for it, Universal!?.... Nothing.... As it turns out, all of their Halloween goodies go straight to "Halloween Horror Nights" which is a special event in which you pay double the amount of park admission to experience a fraction of the park at night. But don't worry! They've got plenty of fun stuff lined up, such as a spooky house! A spooky maze! Another spooky house with dudes in costume jumping out at you. Wow! What fun! Another thing they don't tell you is that the park CLOSES EARLY for the Halloween event. Oh sorry, did you think you were gonna be staying here until the park closes!? Nope! It's 4pm! We gotta get those black lights turned on in the spook house before the sun goes down in 5 hours. Get the fuck out or pay us more money! You'd think that since it was "ANNUAL PASS HOLDERS APPRECIATION MONTH" that we'd get like a one night free pass but NOOOO!!! You haven't spent enough money! Don't worry, we'll give you 10% discount or some shit!
We were at the very least trying to find some nice Halloween merch, which yes they did have. BUT more tricks up their sleeve. All of the Halloween merch was strategically placed in the display windows> So when we walked in, that display window was literally all they had. Shot glasses, coffin shaped boards, Ouija Board stuff, drinking glasses, masks, pins, and yeah that's pretty much it. All of these things were pretty much just stuff you could get at a Spirit store. Only difference is, Universal wrote "Halloween Horror Night 2023" on it. Oooooo, ahhhhh. $30 for a drinking glass sounds steep anywhere else, but knowing I'm getting such top dollar quality at Universal makes it worth the price.
Finally I'd like to talk about an incident that happened proving once and for all that the only people Universal hire are teenagers and prison convicts. Just before we left the park, we noticed that the noodle shop by the front entrance was pretty much the only thing in the park doing anything Halloween related. They turned the place into a Chucky themed restaurant with spooky dishes. The one that caught our attention was the Chucky funnel cake. And here's the picture we saw: https://cache.undercovertourist.com.....unnel-cake.jpg If the shitty Google link actually worked this time, what you should be seeing is a funnel cake topped with a mountain of whipped cream, Halloween sprinkles, a special blood sauce, topped with an adorable candy knife. This was up on the menu, which kept flashing in rotation to other dishes on the menu. I fucking HATE modern day tv menus. I can barely read them because of how shitty my eyes are, but on top of that I can only look at the item for 5 seconds before flashing to something else. So to try and save some time and confusion. I asked the cashier what the Chucky funnel cake comes with. The cashier... who clearly had some sort of... let's say, brain misplacement, says, "Duuuuuuuuh I don't know! He then turns back and looks at the menu and waits until it flashes back to the funnel cake. And when it does he goes, "Uhhhhh whipped cream? and red stuff?" To which we just say, "Alright we'll take 2 of them. They also had some spooky looking cocktails with candy eyeballs and cotton candy flavored whipped cream. Also sounded good and would be a nice addition to wash down the funnel cake. We pay, and JUST as we walk away from the register. Genius Cashier says, "Oh I forgot! The spooky drink is all gone!" At this point the manager stepped in because we were basically just like, okay? So what do we do? Our choice at this point was, "Well there's an even more expensive version of that drink that I can give you, but you'd have to pay the difference." Uhhh, how about for the inconvenience, you just make us the drink and call it a wash. "Nope! Sorry I can't do that!" Okay so let me get this straight. I now have to pay more money for a drink that I did not want because of YOUR fuckup!? And the manager was basically just like, "YEP, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO!" Okay then no, I don't want it. Give me a refund. We're given a refund but are still waiting for our funnel cakes. To which I whisper to the roomies, "How much you wanna bet that they're NOT going to give us what we orderd." To which they replied, "If that happens I'm getting a full refund." Well gosh and golly gee, I must be psychic! Because when our order was ready they handed us 2 funnel cakes with whipped cream. No sprinkles, no sauce, no candy knife. Like bro! We spent $18 each on fancy funnel cakes and you're just gonna try to gaslight us into think that this is what we ordered!? Coming from the same jackass who wanted us to pay the difference for an upgraded drink. We then say, "Umm no, this isn't what we ordered!" To which the manager was like, oh sorry, we'll add the strawberries that go on top." To which another employee chimed in and said, "We're out of the Chucky sauce." Then the Manger said, "No, the strawberries are what we add to the Chucky funnel cake!" Because we were standing right there. To which the employee double downs and she says, "Uh, no it's not." Manager responds with a more dire tone, " No! the STRAWBERRIES (*wink wink shut the fuck up!) is what we ADD to the CHUCKY funnel cake! (*wink wink, customers in ear shot you dumb bitch!) At that point we got a full refund. Also fuck this park and all who work at it. I'd also like to remind everyone that we were at an AMUSMENT PARK. There is a mile long line behind us as we speak and these dipshits are running around with there heads cutoff. Don't get me wrong, I know inventory is limited and you can run out of ingredients fast. But be upfront and honest about it. Don't fucking gaslight people into pretending the insanely overpriced shit we ordered was actually the cheaper version we're still charging you the full amount for you fucking scam artists.
I feel better just letting this all out, but my main point here is that as someone who has lived in California 99% of my entire life. I am just so fucking sick of shitty things costing so much fucking money for no reason. Theme parks are supposed to relieve stress not CAUSE it. And Universal Studios is now almost as expensive as Disneyland. This is like a State Fair trying to pass itself off as a luxury cruise line. No additions to the Nintendo gift shop either. You'd think that since Halloween is around the corner they'd get in some special Boo plushies, or even just Luigi with a vacuum cleaner on his back. But no... that would take time and effort. All of the Halloween merch was basically just ads for their Halloween Nights. Like holy shit Universal owns the OG black n white monsters! Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Mummy, the Wolfman! Like dude! These fucker pioneered Halloween! And you're not gonna do anything with it!? Figure it out!
Before I wrap this shit up, my fears were true as they ARE building a new "Fast n Furious" roller coaster right next to the Simpsons area. I doubt it will be finished this year, but if it's done before March... Can't wait for the park to be even more crowded for one of the shittest movie series of all time.
I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place when it came to getting this annual pass. I've been to the park 6 or 7 times now and every visit has either been miserable or moderately okay at best. It's hard to have a good time when you look at the prices of everything being 3 times the price it would anywhere else. And I live in California where fast food is now $20 a person give or take. Like the normal price of things is already ridiculous, these are straight up clown prices. On top of that, I made the mistake of not paying a little extra for the Gold Pass. I have the Silver Pass which does not cover parking, which is $30 just for general. If you want the fancy parking that's right in front of Citywalk... that shit will run you about $80-$100. Just to park your fucking car! You're not even inside the park yet!
Last time the roomies and I went, we all ended up getting Covid. Mostly because the park is ALWAYS packed! No matter what day we seem to go on, it is always jam fucking packed! But also, Californians LOVE to pretend that other people do not exist! They just look in the other direction and slam right into you! If I don't see it, it doesn't exist! Let me open mouth cough right in your face! Sure I'm sick and should have stayed home, but this is our family vacation! I'm not gonna let a little Covid get me down! So yeah, the idea of going back to the park was dwindling pretty thin at this point. Not the first time going got us sick either.
But Universal is sly fox, ya see. They sent me an email declaring that September is "Annual Passholder Appreciation Month" and if you come to the park before the 15th, you will receive a free Princess Peach magnet. Oh Universal, you naughty girl. Enticing me with promises of free Princess Peach swag. How did you know it was my only weakness! Needless to say, the bait worked! I talked the roomies into going this Sunday, but they wanted to go on Friday in the hopes that the park wouldn't be as packed. NOPE! It was almost as packed as when Nintendo World first opened! Could have sworn school just started but oh fucking well! Now to Universal's credit... I was fully expecting them to not have the free magnet and just be like, "Fresh out, tough shit." But no, they actually had it! So thank you for not lying directly to my face for once, Universal darling. Here it is in all of it's glory: https://twitter.com/OTACON_XIX/stat.....51101441671193
But surely we didn't drive all the way down here just to grab a free magnet, so naturally we spent the rest of the day at the park... in 95 degree weather. I don't know if you've ever been with a gigantic group of people in 95 degree desert heat... but it feels like being inside a literal oven ALL day. Not the parks fault, but the lines on top of being in direct sunlight was just painful. We were most excited to see what kind of Halloween decorations the park would be smothered in. It's nearly fall, time to put up those Halloween and harvest decorations, right!? I mean holy shit, Disneyland changes entire rides for Halloween, so what have you got for it, Universal!?.... Nothing.... As it turns out, all of their Halloween goodies go straight to "Halloween Horror Nights" which is a special event in which you pay double the amount of park admission to experience a fraction of the park at night. But don't worry! They've got plenty of fun stuff lined up, such as a spooky house! A spooky maze! Another spooky house with dudes in costume jumping out at you. Wow! What fun! Another thing they don't tell you is that the park CLOSES EARLY for the Halloween event. Oh sorry, did you think you were gonna be staying here until the park closes!? Nope! It's 4pm! We gotta get those black lights turned on in the spook house before the sun goes down in 5 hours. Get the fuck out or pay us more money! You'd think that since it was "ANNUAL PASS HOLDERS APPRECIATION MONTH" that we'd get like a one night free pass but NOOOO!!! You haven't spent enough money! Don't worry, we'll give you 10% discount or some shit!
We were at the very least trying to find some nice Halloween merch, which yes they did have. BUT more tricks up their sleeve. All of the Halloween merch was strategically placed in the display windows> So when we walked in, that display window was literally all they had. Shot glasses, coffin shaped boards, Ouija Board stuff, drinking glasses, masks, pins, and yeah that's pretty much it. All of these things were pretty much just stuff you could get at a Spirit store. Only difference is, Universal wrote "Halloween Horror Night 2023" on it. Oooooo, ahhhhh. $30 for a drinking glass sounds steep anywhere else, but knowing I'm getting such top dollar quality at Universal makes it worth the price.
Finally I'd like to talk about an incident that happened proving once and for all that the only people Universal hire are teenagers and prison convicts. Just before we left the park, we noticed that the noodle shop by the front entrance was pretty much the only thing in the park doing anything Halloween related. They turned the place into a Chucky themed restaurant with spooky dishes. The one that caught our attention was the Chucky funnel cake. And here's the picture we saw: https://cache.undercovertourist.com.....unnel-cake.jpg If the shitty Google link actually worked this time, what you should be seeing is a funnel cake topped with a mountain of whipped cream, Halloween sprinkles, a special blood sauce, topped with an adorable candy knife. This was up on the menu, which kept flashing in rotation to other dishes on the menu. I fucking HATE modern day tv menus. I can barely read them because of how shitty my eyes are, but on top of that I can only look at the item for 5 seconds before flashing to something else. So to try and save some time and confusion. I asked the cashier what the Chucky funnel cake comes with. The cashier... who clearly had some sort of... let's say, brain misplacement, says, "Duuuuuuuuh I don't know! He then turns back and looks at the menu and waits until it flashes back to the funnel cake. And when it does he goes, "Uhhhhh whipped cream? and red stuff?" To which we just say, "Alright we'll take 2 of them. They also had some spooky looking cocktails with candy eyeballs and cotton candy flavored whipped cream. Also sounded good and would be a nice addition to wash down the funnel cake. We pay, and JUST as we walk away from the register. Genius Cashier says, "Oh I forgot! The spooky drink is all gone!" At this point the manager stepped in because we were basically just like, okay? So what do we do? Our choice at this point was, "Well there's an even more expensive version of that drink that I can give you, but you'd have to pay the difference." Uhhh, how about for the inconvenience, you just make us the drink and call it a wash. "Nope! Sorry I can't do that!" Okay so let me get this straight. I now have to pay more money for a drink that I did not want because of YOUR fuckup!? And the manager was basically just like, "YEP, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO!" Okay then no, I don't want it. Give me a refund. We're given a refund but are still waiting for our funnel cakes. To which I whisper to the roomies, "How much you wanna bet that they're NOT going to give us what we orderd." To which they replied, "If that happens I'm getting a full refund." Well gosh and golly gee, I must be psychic! Because when our order was ready they handed us 2 funnel cakes with whipped cream. No sprinkles, no sauce, no candy knife. Like bro! We spent $18 each on fancy funnel cakes and you're just gonna try to gaslight us into think that this is what we ordered!? Coming from the same jackass who wanted us to pay the difference for an upgraded drink. We then say, "Umm no, this isn't what we ordered!" To which the manager was like, oh sorry, we'll add the strawberries that go on top." To which another employee chimed in and said, "We're out of the Chucky sauce." Then the Manger said, "No, the strawberries are what we add to the Chucky funnel cake!" Because we were standing right there. To which the employee double downs and she says, "Uh, no it's not." Manager responds with a more dire tone, " No! the STRAWBERRIES (*wink wink shut the fuck up!) is what we ADD to the CHUCKY funnel cake! (*wink wink, customers in ear shot you dumb bitch!) At that point we got a full refund. Also fuck this park and all who work at it. I'd also like to remind everyone that we were at an AMUSMENT PARK. There is a mile long line behind us as we speak and these dipshits are running around with there heads cutoff. Don't get me wrong, I know inventory is limited and you can run out of ingredients fast. But be upfront and honest about it. Don't fucking gaslight people into pretending the insanely overpriced shit we ordered was actually the cheaper version we're still charging you the full amount for you fucking scam artists.
I feel better just letting this all out, but my main point here is that as someone who has lived in California 99% of my entire life. I am just so fucking sick of shitty things costing so much fucking money for no reason. Theme parks are supposed to relieve stress not CAUSE it. And Universal Studios is now almost as expensive as Disneyland. This is like a State Fair trying to pass itself off as a luxury cruise line. No additions to the Nintendo gift shop either. You'd think that since Halloween is around the corner they'd get in some special Boo plushies, or even just Luigi with a vacuum cleaner on his back. But no... that would take time and effort. All of the Halloween merch was basically just ads for their Halloween Nights. Like holy shit Universal owns the OG black n white monsters! Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Mummy, the Wolfman! Like dude! These fucker pioneered Halloween! And you're not gonna do anything with it!? Figure it out!
Before I wrap this shit up, my fears were true as they ARE building a new "Fast n Furious" roller coaster right next to the Simpsons area. I doubt it will be finished this year, but if it's done before March... Can't wait for the park to be even more crowded for one of the shittest movie series of all time.
I'm old enough that I went on a tour there as a kid in the late sixties, and I have fond memories of the back lot, including the Munsters mansion, as well as some really cool sets. They weren't trying to sell us a bunch of crap at that point.
We also went to Disneyland, and it wasn't much like it is today either, with a few exceptions.
I know I'm not a little kid anymore so the magic goggles have been lifted from my face decades ago. But that's kinda my point. I don't get excited or enthusiastic about anything anymore. And the very short list of things that I do usually turns out to be a disappointment. I didn't have fond memories of this park as a kid. I just know that I went there once and they changed or "updated" pretty much every ride that was there. Some of which were just axed completely, like the E.T. ride.
Things should be getting better over time. Not worse and more expensive.
Guess I'm just old enough to be jaded by this type of corporate consumer capitalist fare.
This is of course not to say that you shouldn't expect much better from these people.
I'd say send this review to the management there.