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Point of no return.
2 years ago
General
When life gives you lemons, burn life's house down. Preferrably with life still inside.
I've spoken to the neurosurgeon the other day and yeah.... surgery is definitely out of the question. The tumor has spread far too much to be worked on. On the off-chance that she does endure the procedure, it would only buy her very little time so it would be all for nothing, given how aggressively this fucking thing spreads if tampered with.
However, he advised me not to tell her that the surgery was called off, merely postponed, otherwise she'd surrender and just.....wither away.
I told him about her situation and he agreed that putting her in a nursing home is the best call, telling her she needs to stay there until she's re-scheduled for surgery.
To those of you who still have living, and loving parents...Cherish them. And when your parents pass one day, a long time from now.... may it be in peaceful slumber. Not pain and suffering like my parents. Not before their time.
However, he advised me not to tell her that the surgery was called off, merely postponed, otherwise she'd surrender and just.....wither away.
I told him about her situation and he agreed that putting her in a nursing home is the best call, telling her she needs to stay there until she's re-scheduled for surgery.
To those of you who still have living, and loving parents...Cherish them. And when your parents pass one day, a long time from now.... may it be in peaceful slumber. Not pain and suffering like my parents. Not before their time.
May your mother's journey across the rainbow bridge be a painless one.
I wish you the best man.
You decided correctly with neurosurgeon, given her the opportunity not to despair.
Though I agree, hell of a decision it is, to try and help her be as comfortable and loved until the time arrives.
My deepest condolences.
Make sure to reach out for support. Perhaps there are local support groups for caregivers of terminal patients? Maybe there are other forms of support.
Remember to let yourself feel whatever you feel. When someone suffering does pass you may feel guilty to feel relief at their passing, but allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and recognize it as valid.
If you can find a way to find out her funeral wishes, maybe pose it as just in case for the surgery, try to get those down. If you end up in charge of those decisions…don’t let them guilt you into more expensive options unless those truly bring you comfort.
I’m sorry to infodump support information and such on you, but I hope something I have said helps. I lost my Mom in 2013…and she was also suffering as her lungs were completely destroyed by a staph infection in her lungs. So while I don’t know exactly how it feels for you, I can empathize.
I just lost my Uncle in July this past summer due to the same thing. They discovered it far too late and by that time, he only had a month to live. And while I feel bad, dad took it worse. Although he's now becoming my more like his old self again, my father is still broken up over the loss.
Yeah... I'm wishing you and your family the best on the road ahead.
Is she still... hmm 'here'? No loss of memory or confusion? That can be painful too.
Addition: just read what your 2021 was like. Yikes!
Definitely understand the opening and ending expression.