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I'm such a fucking dumbass
2 years ago
I just need to vent at myself for a sec, because I'm such a stupid person.
I've always been a bit of a doormat, I thought I grew a spine but I apparently haven't. An individual who was my patron earned some free tickets during an event I hosted a while ago and used them to order an art piece that night. Granted, they weren't there for the event (I have been corrected on this, they were possibly there), they earned idle tickets from my extra marble race game. Life fell apart for me a bit and I couldn't get all the freebies done, I had to turn my attention to commissions, which I didn't think was too awful because the game night had been fun on it's own and I learned we really don't need prizes to have a good time... (These were not prizes that were promised via their tier on patreon, it was something extra I decided to do for fun)
But this individual did not want to let the slot go, they even put in forms when I opened for commissions asking me to work on the freebie instead of putting in for a commission. I was so frustrated and tired of this individual I said okay to a refund... A refund on free art. I kind of hoped they'd like... let it drop? Maybe realize this is really silly asking me for money when they didn't give me any. But they popped up again today, asking me how my financial situation was so I could pay them. I'm such a pushover. I am growing to really hate working for people I don't know, it's too easy to take advantage of me. I just feel sick to my stomach, I don't have much money right now and to refund something that no money was initially exchanged for is really upsetting, but I don't know how to stand up for myself when it comes to my business.
It's likely a scammer or some incredibly entitled person that I shouldn't spare much thought, but it's getting to me. My financial situation is so tenuous and PAYING customers are waiting so very patiently. To have someone squeeze money from me like this. It makes me ill.
Sorry for the rambling, I just had to put it out into the void to try to cope with my own idiocy. I'm just so tired.
I've always been a bit of a doormat, I thought I grew a spine but I apparently haven't. An individual who was my patron earned some free tickets during an event I hosted a while ago and used them to order an art piece that night. Granted, they weren't there for the event (I have been corrected on this, they were possibly there), they earned idle tickets from my extra marble race game. Life fell apart for me a bit and I couldn't get all the freebies done, I had to turn my attention to commissions, which I didn't think was too awful because the game night had been fun on it's own and I learned we really don't need prizes to have a good time... (These were not prizes that were promised via their tier on patreon, it was something extra I decided to do for fun)
But this individual did not want to let the slot go, they even put in forms when I opened for commissions asking me to work on the freebie instead of putting in for a commission. I was so frustrated and tired of this individual I said okay to a refund... A refund on free art. I kind of hoped they'd like... let it drop? Maybe realize this is really silly asking me for money when they didn't give me any. But they popped up again today, asking me how my financial situation was so I could pay them. I'm such a pushover. I am growing to really hate working for people I don't know, it's too easy to take advantage of me. I just feel sick to my stomach, I don't have much money right now and to refund something that no money was initially exchanged for is really upsetting, but I don't know how to stand up for myself when it comes to my business.
It's likely a scammer or some incredibly entitled person that I shouldn't spare much thought, but it's getting to me. My financial situation is so tenuous and PAYING customers are waiting so very patiently. To have someone squeeze money from me like this. It makes me ill.
Sorry for the rambling, I just had to put it out into the void to try to cope with my own idiocy. I'm just so tired.
Please do not GIVE them money just to make them go away. Sounds like they won't even if you do.
I like the suggestion of refunding their Patreon Sub (If that's a thing) and just removing them outright. Block on sight, ignore at any juncture. You don't REALLY owe them anything if they didn't pay for the right to earn that prize, and constant harassment is a fast track to the block list - for me, anyway.
Don't feel bad about it. Don't feel pressured. Don't feel like the bad guy for not following through on a fun free thing.
And yeah, I rarely go to the public for commissions any more. If I can cycle comms with 5-6 friends I'm good for practically forever.
It sucks, but soemtimes mistakes happen. Wires get crossed, memory is imperfect, and all we can really do is say my bad and move on. I'm sorry this person created so much stress for you and I hope thigns feel a lot mroe calm now.
It is unfortunate that people want to hop onto your back and pummel your noggin time and time again though. :/
There, obligation fulfilled. $0* worth of art.
* rounded to the nearest penny.
That is easy to sort out. Just sending a message notifying their $0USD refund has been processed.
Jokes aside, this kind of situation sucks. I hope you can get it sorted out soon.
Make sure to blacklist the person for future stuff once this is over.
If they refuse to accept that, don't feel bad about blacklisting them in whatever way you need to.
I instead want to focus on what happens after, as there might be more collateral damage than people suspect. For example, this can make it much harder to trust any individual from now on, because who knows if this next person will cause the same anxiety and stress. It makes it harder to do what you want to do and also in the way you want to do it. Which really sucks, especially if it ruins a fun event like that.
I hope you aren't taking this too heavily, as this might spoil the fun and excitement for future events too. Don't let the bad apples ruin your fun forever. After having this situation, you'll be able to identify these bad actors faster each time and know how to handle them better and better.
Sorry to hear this happened to you. You live and you learn!
In the future (probably not to whoever this is as they are burned more than likely) offer a discount on future commissions or a slot priority to help you with fans/ clients. But don't hurt yourself and your ability to work on things further.
Be direct -
State that you've reconsidered your position, you are not going to pay a refund beyond the price paid (nothing) and that having said you'd do so initially was both a mistake and not something you feel is correct.
Free art should be worked on but not any more than other art you have to get done.
I hope things clear up.