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I Need Help
2 years ago
General
I need new friends. I've gone too long putting all of my eggs in one basket and now I'm paying the price for it. I need to find REAL friends. Not pretend friends who only care about you when they need something. But actual genuine bonds with other human beings who care about me and in return I can care about them. Where do I start? I NEED advice on this. I need help. I'm 35 years old and I still don't know how to socialize because I have a hard time opening up to people thanks to having crippling anxiety and trust issues.
Furthermore, I'm sick and tired of being alone. So I'm going to start forcing myself into the dating scene. I've been lied to for decades now with people constantly telling me, "It's alright, you just haven't met the right girl yet. Give it time and I'm sure you'll find someone. Give yourself more credit." WRONG! It's all bullshit! If you don't force yourself to engage in love then love will never find you! It's been 35 years. Does anyone know of any dating sites or apps that aren't just a fucking scam? Better yet, is anyone single who lives in southern California/LA County. I live in the Antelope Valley. I'm bisexual, although I lean more towards women. If I were to ever be in a gay relationship, I would need to be a top. If anyone reading this is single or knows someone who is single and looking. Please message me. I'm not even trying to just find casual hookups. I'm looking for actual companions both romantically and non-romantically.
I'm also going to make a better effort to get out of the house more often to blow off some steam. Go see a movie. Get back into working out at the gym. I recently found out about an axe throwing place nearby, so throwing some axes for fun. I cannot keep living like this. I need stability and to stop hurting day after day after day. I know it's too much to ask, but there has to be some other human beings on this planet that aren't just walking traffic cones.
Furthermore, I'm sick and tired of being alone. So I'm going to start forcing myself into the dating scene. I've been lied to for decades now with people constantly telling me, "It's alright, you just haven't met the right girl yet. Give it time and I'm sure you'll find someone. Give yourself more credit." WRONG! It's all bullshit! If you don't force yourself to engage in love then love will never find you! It's been 35 years. Does anyone know of any dating sites or apps that aren't just a fucking scam? Better yet, is anyone single who lives in southern California/LA County. I live in the Antelope Valley. I'm bisexual, although I lean more towards women. If I were to ever be in a gay relationship, I would need to be a top. If anyone reading this is single or knows someone who is single and looking. Please message me. I'm not even trying to just find casual hookups. I'm looking for actual companions both romantically and non-romantically.
I'm also going to make a better effort to get out of the house more often to blow off some steam. Go see a movie. Get back into working out at the gym. I recently found out about an axe throwing place nearby, so throwing some axes for fun. I cannot keep living like this. I need stability and to stop hurting day after day after day. I know it's too much to ask, but there has to be some other human beings on this planet that aren't just walking traffic cones.
LaziestSloth
~laziestsloth
You may be better avoiding any and all social apps and sites since they tend to be used by lots of girls for easy-pickings - guys who'll pay for a date and be forgotten once they're done with the cash. A sad experience, to say the least. In this day and age, you're better off engaging with country girls who want none of social media or big cities, a collected kind of girl who is more about enjoying the silence than going to where there's noise.
OTACONXIX
~otaconxix
OP
Okay. So how do I do that?
LaziestSloth
~laziestsloth
Different ways, but consider going to a gym. Either a regular gym or a boxing gym. And don't quit. Most people there tend to actually be good sports wanting to help you succeed. Just avoid the obvious clout-chasers setting up their filming equipment, they can start drama you do not need.
dragonofdarkness13
~dragonofdarkness13
I'm seriously sorry to hear you're in this sort of situation... I really wish I could be of more help but I sorta just fell into everything I'm in and don't have to much advice to give other than... Well... rejection happens and it's the actual hardest hurdle to deal with. It sucks but you are going to have to deal with that part if you're going to try romantic relationships. I'll do what I can to help when I can I'm just sorry if I can't
darkrex
~darkrex
I would think that going out more just to either walk around, movies, and the like is the move in the right direction you need. Just something to help vent the stress and anxiety, as for dating I can't say since I've been burned badly so I'm in the same boat as you. I would say just maybe take it slow, no need to jump head first into the dating pool, maybe just go to a few bars and strike up convorsations with people or the like wherever you go, hell the axe throwing place might be a good start if you wanna try new talking points or meet new people!
Exeggutor
~exeggutor
Sorry to hear that you're so lonely, but I'm glad you've got plans to make it better. I hope your social life goes the way you hope it does, and soon. You're a great guy and amazing artist; you deserve love. I wish I could help more, but I'm a bit of an introvert too, and I'm not interested in dating at all.
CP444
~cp444
Going out is a good idea to help vent out your frustration, you will be too tired to feel bad. For dating I really have no idea but I have heard that going to a local pub or club singles can be found.
