Long Life update. Please skip if you don't care. I also should NOT be talking about this... but I just don't care about protecting him anymore.

So this was supposed to be one of the best weeks of my life. I was looking so forward to it. My friends and I were going to Disneyland on Monday (10/2) and a Coheed and Cambria concert on Saturday (yesterday). I just recovered from the cyst and helping my parents move and it felt like things were finally getting back to normal. But then my roommate decided that it was a GREAT idea to cheat on his wife! The weekend before Disneyland AND 3 concerts! (I was only going to one). On top of that, it was a WEEK after his fucking anniversary! He lied to both of us and made up some shit about going to a "Health Fair." But in reality, he was on a hot date that apparently went very well! His wife was visiting her parents, ya see. So if he just wasn't stupid enough to get caught he probably wouldn't have even felt bad. I've known this guy since I was a little kid and we've been best friends for over 20 years now. He's been with his girl for 17 years. What the fuck!? Was he kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a shitty clone?

The very next morning, his wife came home and woke us both up by screaming bloody murder. Like chills up my spine levels of crying where I felt so horrible and needed to leave. I gave them some space for the entire day. I assumed most of it was them just fighting. The day after that, my morning ritual of coffee drinking was interrupted by a scuffle I heard by the backdoor followed by his wife screaming for help. As I ran to the back, he had her in an armlock, and I screamed, "What the fuck is going on!?" She yells, "You need to call 911!" I take out my phone and say, "What should I do!? I don't know what to do in this situation!" His response was, "YOU CAN STAY OUT OF IT!" Like... bro... you have your fucking wife in an armlock... do you really expect me to just walk away and go back to my room? I fucking LIVE here now! So we start screaming back n forth at each other. He's throwing insults like, "Have you been with a woman for 17 years!?" and "You're just jealous of the attention I get from women." Which is some of the most childish, high school bullshit. So I try to call 911. But for some insane reason... my phone was NOT working and I couldn't get through. In panicked desperation I tried calling my mom and my boss. No luck. In the time it took to do all this, he eventually released her and took off in his truck.

I had a long talk with his wife after that. She was completely destroyed. Her parents came down to comfort her and also to have a... I guess intervention for her husband. When he eventually came home, I gave them some space and started ripping everything off of my walls because I seriously thought I was gonna need to bail. After their long discussion, he talked to me and said that he's very sorry and that he needs help and that he's sick in the head. And yes, he has been going through some bad shit right now.... But was cheating and lying really the fucking solution? He eventually calmed me down and the 3 of us went drinking that same night. Believe it or not, he also talked us into going to Disneyland the next day. This is how he's going to act. Let's just pretend everything is okay and nothing bad happened.

Disneyland:
What a fucking mistake. Last time I was at Disneyland was right before Pandemic. So now not only is Disneyland associated with the world going to shit, but it's also now associated with my best friends shitty marriage falling apart. What a treat for me. The park was packed, so while waiting in line, I shit you not, they were making phone calls to setup couples therapy. You could cut the tension with a fucking knife. We grabbed lunch and while he was in the restroom, she asked me what my favorite ride was so far. I know what she's doing. My response was, "Look, I'm not having fun. I'm so fucking mad at him for what he did to you. He hurt me too. And I seriously want to move out, so I'm gonna start packing tomorrow." She then begs me not to go because she said that she doesn't want the friendship to end and to please give it a month for me to cool down. Also she doesn't know what he's capable of anymore, so she feels like if his only friend bails, then he might kill himself. I say okay. I'll stay at least another month. I promise.

A few days go by and he wants me to grab a drink with him. He tells me that he wants to be more open and honest with me. He tells me all about the date and drops another bombshell on me that he wasn't expecting the date to go as well as it did and that he had ANOTHER GIRL lined up for Sunday. Wow! He goes on to tell me that he's worried because he doesn't feel as bad about it as he thought he would. So I guess there's nothing stopping him from doing it again. After all, it's not illegal to cheat on your wife! So there's no punishment! You really are a piece of shit! I cannot believe what I am hearing! He doesn't want my advice anyway, he just needs to hear himself talk.

Coheed and Cambria: (yesterday)
I really didn't wanna go... but I already paid for my ticket before the incident so I guess I'm screwed. Bought a double pack of extra strength weed gummies. had one before we left and one after dinner. On top of that got a few mixed drinks at the restaurant, and some shots and beer at the concert itself. I was fucking wasted. I'd also like to add that I don't even like Coheed and Cambria... I just wanted to spend more time with my former friends. Everything was going alright until some fuckhead started moshing. We're already packed in like sardines. Why the FUCK are you moshing!? This resulted in being crushed between a tall fatass and some dude with long hair. Would have been nice if I was sandwitched between 2 girls with a big butt and big boobs. But no of course! I get sweaty fat guy and sweaty denim vest. My face is literally in this dudes hair. After 3 minutes I lost my shit and fought through the crowd to get the fuck out. I've had nightmares like this where I'm just trapped in a sea of people. I literally couldn't breathe. Roommate texts me while I'm hiding in the restroom that they got out of the crowd too. But all I can think is how much I just want to run away into oncoming traffic. My anxiety is through the roof, I'm high as fuck, I just want to die! We left early before the crowd got out. Thank fucking christ. They didn't even play "Welcome Home!"

I have the house to myself today which is nice because I really needed some time alone. I also couldn't help but notice that his wife was kissing him like crazy, I assume she's trying to be more affectionate because another reason he said he did what he did is because she's cold and unloving. So yeah, his reward for cheating on his fucking wife is that everything's going to be just fine! No punishment! And now your wife is going to try to be a better lover! Dawwww what a happy ending!

My brain is broken. I wake up every morning now with a deep pain in my head, like someone punched me in the forehead. I also have a deep pit in my stomach all the time now. I thought I knew who he was and that he was better than this. But now I have no idea what this dude is capable of anymore. If he doesn't care about hurting his wife, then where do I even stand!? Am I a pet!? Am I only here for your fucking amusement and when you need something!? Fuck you! I don't know what to do.... This is the first time in my life where I completely have NO idea what to do. He's one of my only friends and now I don't trust him. He seems to think that because I'm not the one in the relationship that it doesn't effect me. But it DOES effect me. I fucking LIVE here! What are the mental gymnastics you're doing right now!? This is my HOME! Did you seriously think I was just gonna sidestep this shit. I'm still just so fucking mad, and upset, and I'm crying every day.

This is my favorite month. I should be working on Halloween projects, but I have had such a hard time just trying to get out of bed in the morning. I keep hoping I'll just not wake up anymore. I use to have this belief that you don't need a lot of friends. You just need some really good solid ones. But now that I've put all of my eggs in one basket for so long, and all my eggs are now broken, I NEED NEW FRIENDS. I NEVER thought I would EVER have to put on a bullshit mask around my true friends. Ya know, that bullshit sugary nice mask that most retail associates have to put on? Yeah, that's me now with him. I fucking hate the way the world works where lying and cheating is the best way to get what you want.

I'm broken.... And I don't know how to fix this.