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I am suffering, again, sorry.
2 years ago
To explain, I suffer from depression and anxiety, as well as paranoia. I have a bad history of being abandoned by friends or treated as the 'lesser friend' that no one wants to spend time with unless they absolutely have to. I'm always worried I've made people uncomfortable. I recently was abandoned by multiple people, including being ghosted or in one case, the entire friend group choosing to play elsewhere -just to avoid me-...
I am hurt emotionally and spiritually. I feel like I have no place in this world, and no one wants me around. People will say "I would never abandon you" or "I am different", those same people abandon me shortly after...
I'm not sure if I can be creative anymore because I feel like it's a worthless endeavor when people falsely state I'm doing something good, like a parent telling their child the smudges they made were a masterpiece. My confidence has been dead, my self esteem non-existent, and my willpower broken.
I am sorry. If this offends anyone, I'm sorry, that's just what I end up doing, making everyone upset.
I am hurt emotionally and spiritually. I feel like I have no place in this world, and no one wants me around. People will say "I would never abandon you" or "I am different", those same people abandon me shortly after...
I'm not sure if I can be creative anymore because I feel like it's a worthless endeavor when people falsely state I'm doing something good, like a parent telling their child the smudges they made were a masterpiece. My confidence has been dead, my self esteem non-existent, and my willpower broken.
I am sorry. If this offends anyone, I'm sorry, that's just what I end up doing, making everyone upset.
Stuff other than short horror stories too, when I've read your character reference regarding... you as a Junkpaw. It made me imagine what relationship between usual, organic foxes would be like between you as a robot and so on. It was good enough if it made me use my imagination and provided some inspiration.
And I wouldn't be able to promise not abandoning someone like that. I think that this mind and body makes and feels things that I wouldn't want them to, but I can't control it because I'm submerged into being one with it. (That's how it feels like for me). So, I would hope that at least I would feel sorry after some time if I managed to understand hurting somebody.
I really don't mind you sharing your thoughts like that by the way, it doesn't make me uncomfortable for example. If someone reads it; it's their decision and I don't think you have to be sorry really. ^^ I would write too much "sorry" like that too and maybe at least it can make people understand how insecure someone feels, but in truth it's not like we have to be actually sorry.
Well, I can just wish you good luck with stuff for now. Feel free to write to me when you want.
improvement is a matter of study and trail and error anyway. not from complaints. don't get me wrong it's nice to hear them but never are they something to hang on. I'm not a writer so I don't know where to begin to help you I'm afraid. but as someone who has drawn for awhile now it's how I've improved I still I don't feel like I'm no where good at all but have still have enjoyed it.
Idk if this will be helpful. but I do wish you best.