I have been having issues lately finding motivation to do hard tasks. I've researched why this could be, and I have concluded that I am addicted to dopamine. This was not an issue a while ago - a few years ago I would walk daily for 30 minutes to work and work 8 hours. Then I would walk another 30 minutes home. I didn't even have earbuds to listen to music while I walked! Yet I could come home and write so, so much. Plus school came easy to me. I was denying myself pleasure, and thus giving my brain time to think, reset and rest.

Now I have a car and can listen to music at any time that I want. I am on YouTube for hours every day, and constantly talking with friends. I am surrounded by distracting things that rip my attention away from what I intend to do. Even before falling asleep, my eyes and ears are glued to a screen. I do not give my brain time to rest! This is a very common issue that people have nowadays. We live in a world of entertainment, and in this day and age, it is very easy to lose track of time and, well, yourself.

"I did not give myself time to waste, and for that, I wasted my entire life" is my butchered version of a quote some wise person said once idk I try my best. I believe it is saying that we should create time where we do nothing. And I mean literally nothing. If I am having issues writing, working on an assignment, or any other project, I should give myself time to do nothing. In doing so, eventually, I will become bored and do something.

I may be the type of person who needs to just sit and look at a blank page for an indefinite amount of time. No music, no phone... nothing. It is extremely difficult to do, but this has become a problem lately. I never could do exactly what I wanted before, and now that I can, my productivity has plummeted.

Going forward I am going to take my time, stay away from multitasking, and put my all into everything I do. I lost a ton of focus trying to rush to get everything done. I may lose out on news and fun, but I believe I will be a happier person if I should give myself time to breathe and listen to my body.

I'm having fun writing these weekly journals. I hope everyone has a fun Halloween tomorrow! I did not have a costume in mind this year because I'm trying to spend as little money as possible until I get another job. If I did have a costume though, I'd love to be Bowser one of these days. :P