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Been a while + Some Thoughts
2 years ago
Long time, no see!
It's been a long time, and it feels strange writing this all up! Currently, I'm sitting, chilling, and stoned, relaxing after being a bit sore and just having a long day of things to do!
So some stuff and some things to go over... TL;DR version at the end.
My Gallery/My Content/My Commissions
I'm expecting my gallery to remain as-is. Might move things to the scraps or finally learn how to use folders or something, just to keep it aside. I'm considering uploading stuff again, though more as a commissioner than an artist. I'll get into that in a moment. But as for the gallery, yeah, not expecting to delete and erase stuff. No real reason to, anyway! And I'll elaborate on posting things below...
As for my content - my artwork, music, any of my creations, it's kind of interesting. When I first joined this page under chaosdragon11590, I only ever did some digital art stuff, and eventually eased into furry. Kept going for a while but never could get a knack for consistent anatomy. If you looked at that, or any of my other pages with any art on them, you'll see that I always had massive amounts of inconsistency. Ok, I mean I was little proud of what I did, but sometimes, I felt like I was just an impostor and was no better than tracers/art thieves, even though I almost never traced. Hell, I didn't even like drawing over existing photos to try to understand the pose. Probably another reason I didn't really get better, since it wouldn't have been too bad doing that more, just to get a feel for what to draw but eh, don't need to make a longer ramble than I already am doing.
On one hand, I know this is an art site that leans towards the furry content. It's also an art site that is for adults, allowing sexually explicit things. It's a doubly steep uphill battle when the stuff I make isn't geared toward either of those demographics. Don't get me wrong! It's not like I can't post, so it's something I'm thinking about. And it's also not like I can't create things using other people's work - provided I've got permission! I've thought about making T-shirts and other apparel! That's up my alley, and I can certainly make more abstract visual design-inspired pieces. Collaborate with artists to create something good! Get back into more drawing and painting (digital or otherwise) and get back to my roots of coloring and shading, adding my backgrounds! ...Well before I do that, let's just see if I can get both my motivation back and get a good work habit first.
While I haven't done much with art lately, I've been poking around with music again, and also I've been more into development. I've got some fun projects in the works (also having slowed down due to life issues) and perhaps I can share that soon, too! I've spread the word already, but I don't want to keep pushing the projects until I make more progress in them.
Now while I'm not making much art, I have been commissioning art of my characters, and I'm certainly open to posting them! That said, I don't know if I'm going to look into changing up the name (can you even do it on this site? I forgot...) or just make a new account after all, whether I leave the gallery visible or not. Not sure what I'm doing but I'll at least try to show off how much of an art slut I've been. (Fuck being an art whore. I'm an art SLUT.) lol.
On the last episode of.... my life!
So the last time I posted anything here, it was March of last year for a Minecraft project but got stumped at making things work, and then one year before that though I felt something got messed up because I don't remember placing my (now obsolete) commission information with that name. Dunno. It's been a mess and I barely was keeping an eye on this page.
Since then, it's been a hell of a doozy. Got out of most of the annoying lockdown crap but of course, dealing with the "new normal" anywhere you go. Lots of things seem similar to before, and many more things seem very different. Cons, meets, just life, day to day. Bleh.
I've overall been fine. The same usual bouts of depression, ADHD (yeah, was officially diagnosed with that stuff at some time prior), and all sorts of other annoying things.
However, can't say the same for my mom. She's been doing better, but let's see...
A little over a year ago, she had gone in for a triple bypass surgery on her heart. There was a buildup of something (forgot what exactly) that increased her chances of stroke by 1% - small but still, that's 1 percent higher than I want it to be. She had a procedure done to fix an abdominal aneurysm a bit after that and had also needed to get a tube put into her side as one of her kidneys was dead, while the other barely functions. While she was recovering in rehab, it was discovered that she also had bladder cancer.
Fuck cancer.
Since then, she has been in and out of the hospital, in and out of treatment. For 6 weeks she was going in for chemo, and the mass, which started at about 5.3cm or so had shrunk down to two tiny spots. She was going through maintenance therapy, however, a later MRI found the cancer came back... nearly exactly twice as large. They used radiation therapy for that, and she's now on more chemo treatments every other week, in addition to all of her appointments.
I exhausted my FMLA on that and missed quite a bit of work, which so far, they have been reasonable with, thank god. But damn, has the lack of cash been difficult, and I had just gotten a promotion and a raise for my hard work. This has been absolute fucking hell for me, especially as I was getting out of a financial hole, only to fall back in.
Sometimes I want to scream.
I've actually been in and out of a relationship. Had ended (on good terms) one relationship at the beginning of lockdown, but during pride month, I ended up making things official with someone new! I am ace131484's boyfriend! :D They have been fantastic. I love them so much, and really appreciate what they've done for me... and the fact that they put up with my craziness... and all of my terrible dad jokes <3
Aaaa I wanna snug them now but bleh. That requires driving.
Oh right, and the most recent debacle? Most brakes start to make some noise when they're in need of changing. Mine decided to go from quiet to GRINDING. So yay, gonna be changing my brakes and rotors for the first time!
TL;DR
Life has been up and down. Been dealing with a lot of garbage, questioning if I'm gonna still be active here or no, but taking my W's when I can - such as falling in love with an amazing fox <3
Skipped over a lot, but eh, not writing a novel tonight! Perhaps I'll touch base again in the future! Until next time, see ya!
PS: Oh, one thing! I am active outside of FA! Mainly
@IndigoTheDragon and 
indydako! Feel free to DM me there if you want to chat! :D
It's been a long time, and it feels strange writing this all up! Currently, I'm sitting, chilling, and stoned, relaxing after being a bit sore and just having a long day of things to do!
So some stuff and some things to go over... TL;DR version at the end.
My Gallery/My Content/My Commissions
I'm expecting my gallery to remain as-is. Might move things to the scraps or finally learn how to use folders or something, just to keep it aside. I'm considering uploading stuff again, though more as a commissioner than an artist. I'll get into that in a moment. But as for the gallery, yeah, not expecting to delete and erase stuff. No real reason to, anyway! And I'll elaborate on posting things below...
As for my content - my artwork, music, any of my creations, it's kind of interesting. When I first joined this page under chaosdragon11590, I only ever did some digital art stuff, and eventually eased into furry. Kept going for a while but never could get a knack for consistent anatomy. If you looked at that, or any of my other pages with any art on them, you'll see that I always had massive amounts of inconsistency. Ok, I mean I was little proud of what I did, but sometimes, I felt like I was just an impostor and was no better than tracers/art thieves, even though I almost never traced. Hell, I didn't even like drawing over existing photos to try to understand the pose. Probably another reason I didn't really get better, since it wouldn't have been too bad doing that more, just to get a feel for what to draw but eh, don't need to make a longer ramble than I already am doing.
On one hand, I know this is an art site that leans towards the furry content. It's also an art site that is for adults, allowing sexually explicit things. It's a doubly steep uphill battle when the stuff I make isn't geared toward either of those demographics. Don't get me wrong! It's not like I can't post, so it's something I'm thinking about. And it's also not like I can't create things using other people's work - provided I've got permission! I've thought about making T-shirts and other apparel! That's up my alley, and I can certainly make more abstract visual design-inspired pieces. Collaborate with artists to create something good! Get back into more drawing and painting (digital or otherwise) and get back to my roots of coloring and shading, adding my backgrounds! ...Well before I do that, let's just see if I can get both my motivation back and get a good work habit first.
While I haven't done much with art lately, I've been poking around with music again, and also I've been more into development. I've got some fun projects in the works (also having slowed down due to life issues) and perhaps I can share that soon, too! I've spread the word already, but I don't want to keep pushing the projects until I make more progress in them.
Now while I'm not making much art, I have been commissioning art of my characters, and I'm certainly open to posting them! That said, I don't know if I'm going to look into changing up the name (can you even do it on this site? I forgot...) or just make a new account after all, whether I leave the gallery visible or not. Not sure what I'm doing but I'll at least try to show off how much of an art slut I've been. (Fuck being an art whore. I'm an art SLUT.) lol.
On the last episode of.... my life!
So the last time I posted anything here, it was March of last year for a Minecraft project but got stumped at making things work, and then one year before that though I felt something got messed up because I don't remember placing my (now obsolete) commission information with that name. Dunno. It's been a mess and I barely was keeping an eye on this page.
Since then, it's been a hell of a doozy. Got out of most of the annoying lockdown crap but of course, dealing with the "new normal" anywhere you go. Lots of things seem similar to before, and many more things seem very different. Cons, meets, just life, day to day. Bleh.
I've overall been fine. The same usual bouts of depression, ADHD (yeah, was officially diagnosed with that stuff at some time prior), and all sorts of other annoying things.
However, can't say the same for my mom. She's been doing better, but let's see...
A little over a year ago, she had gone in for a triple bypass surgery on her heart. There was a buildup of something (forgot what exactly) that increased her chances of stroke by 1% - small but still, that's 1 percent higher than I want it to be. She had a procedure done to fix an abdominal aneurysm a bit after that and had also needed to get a tube put into her side as one of her kidneys was dead, while the other barely functions. While she was recovering in rehab, it was discovered that she also had bladder cancer.
Fuck cancer.
Since then, she has been in and out of the hospital, in and out of treatment. For 6 weeks she was going in for chemo, and the mass, which started at about 5.3cm or so had shrunk down to two tiny spots. She was going through maintenance therapy, however, a later MRI found the cancer came back... nearly exactly twice as large. They used radiation therapy for that, and she's now on more chemo treatments every other week, in addition to all of her appointments.
I exhausted my FMLA on that and missed quite a bit of work, which so far, they have been reasonable with, thank god. But damn, has the lack of cash been difficult, and I had just gotten a promotion and a raise for my hard work. This has been absolute fucking hell for me, especially as I was getting out of a financial hole, only to fall back in.
Sometimes I want to scream.
I've actually been in and out of a relationship. Had ended (on good terms) one relationship at the beginning of lockdown, but during pride month, I ended up making things official with someone new! I am ace131484's boyfriend! :D They have been fantastic. I love them so much, and really appreciate what they've done for me... and the fact that they put up with my craziness... and all of my terrible dad jokes <3
Aaaa I wanna snug them now but bleh. That requires driving.
Oh right, and the most recent debacle? Most brakes start to make some noise when they're in need of changing. Mine decided to go from quiet to GRINDING. So yay, gonna be changing my brakes and rotors for the first time!
TL;DR
Life has been up and down. Been dealing with a lot of garbage, questioning if I'm gonna still be active here or no, but taking my W's when I can - such as falling in love with an amazing fox <3
Skipped over a lot, but eh, not writing a novel tonight! Perhaps I'll touch base again in the future! Until next time, see ya!
PS: Oh, one thing! I am active outside of FA! Mainly
@IndigoTheDragon and 
indydako! Feel free to DM me there if you want to chat! :D
Nyhm
~nyhm
Welcome back. <3
ZelWorks
~zelworks
OP
Youuuu oh gosh! How've you been? You on Discord? I don't think I was ever able to add you X_X
Nyhm
~nyhm
I'll not you it. <3
RaccoonCube
~raccooncube
Welcome back to the circus~ :DD
ZelWorks
~zelworks
OP
Yo, hit me up sometime! Got my discord and tg listed!
