This marks the 5th week I have consistently written a journal on a Monday! I am the worst with keeping a schedule, but this last month I have taken a decent amount of time to work on my determination and motivation. There have been ups and downs, but now I can look back to a month ago and see what I was going through and learn from it.

I have been doing much better with school. I have learned I am the type of person who needs time to sort my thoughts and think with pretty intense meditation. Otherwise, my brain will always think far into the future and won't act in the present. Taking the time to disconnect from technology and concentrate fully on my thoughts and my bodily functions has allowed me to really think about my goals. By literally turning off my phone for a good chunk of the morning / early afternoon and telling myself that I HAVE to do certain things, I have ultimately become much happier.

I have utilized physical therapy exercises for my knees I found online in a pdf for about a week now. I've only done them a few times but I can already feel the results. The only factor that is concerning to me is my energy. It is very difficult for me to find the energy to get up and do them in the morning. But now that I'm writing this down, I can already see a goal forming. I want to get rid of this pain. If I am going to do that, I need to do exactly what it says no matter how tired I am. I'm beginning to realize while I really enjoy gaining, I also want my body to be stable enough to support it. With these exercises and lessening this pain, it has really opened my mind about what my body is doing. Chronic pain really guides a person's entire day sometimes. It affects sleep, concentration, and... everything.

So with these exercises, I've found myself gaining again. I'm almost at 240 lbs. I believe the pain of my knees was literally keeping me from wanting to gain more weight. Now that I am stretching and working my leg muscles, life is a lot easier. Going forward I honestly recommend new gainers to love their body and take time to really feel any pain that may originate from the joints.

Oh yeah, and it is Thanksgiving in a few days. I wrote that as a title and just rambled about the last week. Well, uh... happy turkey day to those who celebrate it!

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