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my future in furry
2 years ago
General
been meaning to write this one for a while, but it has been hard for me to really find the right words for it.
obviously my art output has decreased drastically. i go months without drawing which i have never done since i started drawing. i used to draw every day. slowly over time my output decreased a /little/ but like the normal “i have adult responsibilities now” kind of decrease.
the last year and a half ish my life has changed in insane ways that i feel like have fundamentally altered me as a person. i feel a lot of it relates to my career and the fulfillment i find in it. it’s hard to like go to work and monitor anesthesia on complex medical cases and then like look at the discourse on furry twitter and be like yes this place is worth my time. i used to dream of going to cons and owning a fursuit and now the idea of spending $5k (probably more) on an animal costume and using my vacation time to go to a furry convention has 0 appeal to me. not that i think anyone who does has bad priorities, it’s just not personally what would make me happy anymore. i want to save for a dog and a better place- and i have bills to pay 😂
the bottom line is in that period of time leading up to now, i was emotionally abused and manipulated, lost pretty much everything, and still had to finish school and start my career. i was severely depressed, anxious, and dealing with other undiagnosed issues at the time. art took a back seat, and as i’ve started to regrow my life and find my happiness i’ve discovered it comes from other things and places. i am learning to explore my creativity in different ways and trying to just create for myself and not for money or for engagement.
am i saying i’m leaving?
i might be, but i don’t know yet. i might pop in and post a picture of whiskey every 6 months and then leave. i might make a new profile where i post the new things i am doing that are all about expressing and enjoying myself.
i am happy being a vet tech, being with my boyfriend, and having my furry and scaly children. i love my little apartment and am proud of all the accomplishments i’ve made. i’m not announcing my probable departure because i’m too sad to be here, but i just feel like i’ve changed and grown away from it. i’ve been saying it’s temporary art block, but at this point it seems clear to me that it is something more permanent.
and that’s ok :)
obviously my art output has decreased drastically. i go months without drawing which i have never done since i started drawing. i used to draw every day. slowly over time my output decreased a /little/ but like the normal “i have adult responsibilities now” kind of decrease.
the last year and a half ish my life has changed in insane ways that i feel like have fundamentally altered me as a person. i feel a lot of it relates to my career and the fulfillment i find in it. it’s hard to like go to work and monitor anesthesia on complex medical cases and then like look at the discourse on furry twitter and be like yes this place is worth my time. i used to dream of going to cons and owning a fursuit and now the idea of spending $5k (probably more) on an animal costume and using my vacation time to go to a furry convention has 0 appeal to me. not that i think anyone who does has bad priorities, it’s just not personally what would make me happy anymore. i want to save for a dog and a better place- and i have bills to pay 😂
the bottom line is in that period of time leading up to now, i was emotionally abused and manipulated, lost pretty much everything, and still had to finish school and start my career. i was severely depressed, anxious, and dealing with other undiagnosed issues at the time. art took a back seat, and as i’ve started to regrow my life and find my happiness i’ve discovered it comes from other things and places. i am learning to explore my creativity in different ways and trying to just create for myself and not for money or for engagement.
am i saying i’m leaving?
i might be, but i don’t know yet. i might pop in and post a picture of whiskey every 6 months and then leave. i might make a new profile where i post the new things i am doing that are all about expressing and enjoying myself.
i am happy being a vet tech, being with my boyfriend, and having my furry and scaly children. i love my little apartment and am proud of all the accomplishments i’ve made. i’m not announcing my probable departure because i’m too sad to be here, but i just feel like i’ve changed and grown away from it. i’ve been saying it’s temporary art block, but at this point it seems clear to me that it is something more permanent.
and that’s ok :)
I hope to continue to see your art once in a while! <3