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My Happy Place
2 years ago
Whenever I can't sleep, I go to my happy place.
It's cold. I can't see six inches in front of me because the snow is falling so hard. Icy wind rushes into my nostrils and down my throat, numbing me from the inside and out simultaneously. All I can do is clumsily stumble forward, slipping and sliding, falling into a brightly lit doorway that seems to come from nowhere. And a familiar voice grumbles "took ya long enough."
Smacky helps me to my feet, snickering as I shiver like a pair of chattering teeth. His house is warm, and bright, and the blizzard on the other side of the threshold seems a million miles away as sensation returns to my feathers and beak. "Thought ya'd never show up," Smacky elbows me in the ribs. "C'mon, it ain't a party without the guest'a honor!"
Further inside, my whole cast is waiting. Maisey's robotic arms are making a mess of the kitchen and Parker is gingerly trying to clean it all up. Rainer and Mitt are perched in some armchairs, talking about the latest football match between the Wrong Horses and the Retcons. Smacky shuffles past me to pick up his banjo, joining Melody as she effortlessly glides along the keys of a piano. Each one greets me in turn, gives me a hug or a pat on the back or an affirmation, and invites me into what they're doing with enthusiasm. There's delicious food, an assortment of games, a projector with the finest cartoons ever filmed, and all the time in the world.
Sometimes, characters I haven't gotten a chance to introduce are there. Sometimes friends stumble in from the cold with me, and I like to imagine their characters there too. It's a party, after all- the more, the merrier! The one constant is that it never fails to make me smile.
I've talked about this before, but when I grew up, I tried to do so in a hurry. All I ever wanted was to be taken seriously, and I ignored a lot of things I perceived as juvenile to do it. So I didn't watch any cartoons, read physics textbooks instead of comics to try and seem smarter, and pursued writing because I thought it was a "mature" hobby. I would only ever be a ninja for Halloween, because the thought of expressing myself beyond an all-black set of coveralls terrified me. I was petrified of being perceived as anything but serious and shrank as much as possible. If that sounds unlike me, it sure as heck was! I thought I had to keep my interest in comedy and silly things a secret. So after the daily grind of pretending I was an astute grown-up, I would go to bed dreaming about getting whisked away to Toontown.
Shortly after I became a teenager and this conflict of who I was vs who I believed I needed to be came to its pinnacle, I found the furry fandom. And I dove in, headfirst, never looking back. I had been holding back a floodgate for over a decade and the dam burst into rubble, never to be repaired. I roleplayed. I joked. I made friends, real friends, for the first time ever. And after getting a solid grasp on Me, The REAL Me, I started making friends- making them myself, in the form of my characters. Some I adopted, some I adapted, some I created from whole cloth, all with the help of artists and other talents I've been blessed to be surrounded by. Each one has an aspect of myself I've wanted to express, or explore, or share, and it's why I've come to have such high self-esteem. Because They are Me, and I really, really like Them.
If you've ever wondered why I talk about my characters so much, or have so many, and always seem like I want more, it's because for a long time, escape was the only way I had to express myself. And it still brings me great comfort to imagine a group of wacky cartoon animals going about their wacky lives, creating problems for each other and solving them in a timely fashion. Getting into arguments or slugfests or prank wars and staying the best of friends at the end of it all. I would never expect anyone to have to love every single member of my cast, or even have interest in more than one or two. After all, they're made for me, first and foremost! But I just want to thank you all for showing interest in the things I have to say. The reason Leftfield and Plotsburg exist is so I have a place to escape to before I go to sleep at night, and the reason I enjoy talking about toon antics or roleplaying when time allows is because I love being able to bring people with me.
They're more than just characters to me. They're my imaginary friends. And they can be yours, too.
It's cold. I can't see six inches in front of me because the snow is falling so hard. Icy wind rushes into my nostrils and down my throat, numbing me from the inside and out simultaneously. All I can do is clumsily stumble forward, slipping and sliding, falling into a brightly lit doorway that seems to come from nowhere. And a familiar voice grumbles "took ya long enough."
Smacky helps me to my feet, snickering as I shiver like a pair of chattering teeth. His house is warm, and bright, and the blizzard on the other side of the threshold seems a million miles away as sensation returns to my feathers and beak. "Thought ya'd never show up," Smacky elbows me in the ribs. "C'mon, it ain't a party without the guest'a honor!"
Further inside, my whole cast is waiting. Maisey's robotic arms are making a mess of the kitchen and Parker is gingerly trying to clean it all up. Rainer and Mitt are perched in some armchairs, talking about the latest football match between the Wrong Horses and the Retcons. Smacky shuffles past me to pick up his banjo, joining Melody as she effortlessly glides along the keys of a piano. Each one greets me in turn, gives me a hug or a pat on the back or an affirmation, and invites me into what they're doing with enthusiasm. There's delicious food, an assortment of games, a projector with the finest cartoons ever filmed, and all the time in the world.
Sometimes, characters I haven't gotten a chance to introduce are there. Sometimes friends stumble in from the cold with me, and I like to imagine their characters there too. It's a party, after all- the more, the merrier! The one constant is that it never fails to make me smile.
I've talked about this before, but when I grew up, I tried to do so in a hurry. All I ever wanted was to be taken seriously, and I ignored a lot of things I perceived as juvenile to do it. So I didn't watch any cartoons, read physics textbooks instead of comics to try and seem smarter, and pursued writing because I thought it was a "mature" hobby. I would only ever be a ninja for Halloween, because the thought of expressing myself beyond an all-black set of coveralls terrified me. I was petrified of being perceived as anything but serious and shrank as much as possible. If that sounds unlike me, it sure as heck was! I thought I had to keep my interest in comedy and silly things a secret. So after the daily grind of pretending I was an astute grown-up, I would go to bed dreaming about getting whisked away to Toontown.
Shortly after I became a teenager and this conflict of who I was vs who I believed I needed to be came to its pinnacle, I found the furry fandom. And I dove in, headfirst, never looking back. I had been holding back a floodgate for over a decade and the dam burst into rubble, never to be repaired. I roleplayed. I joked. I made friends, real friends, for the first time ever. And after getting a solid grasp on Me, The REAL Me, I started making friends- making them myself, in the form of my characters. Some I adopted, some I adapted, some I created from whole cloth, all with the help of artists and other talents I've been blessed to be surrounded by. Each one has an aspect of myself I've wanted to express, or explore, or share, and it's why I've come to have such high self-esteem. Because They are Me, and I really, really like Them.
If you've ever wondered why I talk about my characters so much, or have so many, and always seem like I want more, it's because for a long time, escape was the only way I had to express myself. And it still brings me great comfort to imagine a group of wacky cartoon animals going about their wacky lives, creating problems for each other and solving them in a timely fashion. Getting into arguments or slugfests or prank wars and staying the best of friends at the end of it all. I would never expect anyone to have to love every single member of my cast, or even have interest in more than one or two. After all, they're made for me, first and foremost! But I just want to thank you all for showing interest in the things I have to say. The reason Leftfield and Plotsburg exist is so I have a place to escape to before I go to sleep at night, and the reason I enjoy talking about toon antics or roleplaying when time allows is because I love being able to bring people with me.
They're more than just characters to me. They're my imaginary friends. And they can be yours, too.
Also, I was not aware of you having that many characters!
i am super honored to be welcome and being part of plotsburg, so it is only thanks to you all <3 i wanna commission you again soon TwT <3 even if i am a digimon now, i am still toony as ever!
if you ask me, this is real. and they are all real for me <3 as much as you are!
This community is an amazing place and, people like you make it better. Embracing yourself as authentically as possible is what makes it exactly what it’s supposed to be. A community of ragtag misfits , bound together by similar interests and a fight to survive.
I always love your characters, and I love your account and everything you share. I’ve been more quiet recently as I go through my own process of finding and accepting myself, and also forgiving myself for being so grim in the past. But I always loved your world, loved your characters, and am inspired by you.