Hi everyone...long time no see...

I'm sorry I have not posted anything in a long time...image, journal, or otherwise...

Part of why I haven't posted much over yet another year is mostly because...I don't have much to post...

I've not been able to draw anything ever since I got this job...

For those who don't know my current employment; I'm working as a dietary assistant/aide in a hospital...basically a fancy name for a fast food worker, of sorts, but it's a lot more involved than usual fast food joints, since it's handling food for the injured and sick...

Long story short...I'm in an unwilling but required seven day workweek shift due to staffing shortages, and despite my requests to be moved back to a more normal 5 on 2 off schedule like is supposed to be the norm, well...

Added to the stress of working every single day, most of my job is very physical and strenuous on my upper half...lots of lifting heavy food boxes, emptying extremely heavy trash bins, pushing metal food carts, insane amounts of paperwork, and other hands on tasks...my arms and wrists are not feeling well at all...I have to wear a brace during my shifts, and I have body tremors...despite it, I'm never given any time off to recover...

And it's not like I can just up and quit...It took me several years to even find this job, those who know how many times I failed job interviews...and I've barely got anything in my savings, despite the 7 days on schedule, since it is minimum wage...

Alongside it, is the heavy mental aspect of working for the sick and dying...

I'm just...I'm not okay...

I've accidentally developed a bit of introvercy, since I'm always depressed and always feel afraid to talk to anyone...Anyone out there who still wants to talk to me, I do try to check my notes, but I just feel absolutely horrible and can't bring myself to give the first hello to anyone anymore...

Still alive, at least, but I'm not able to post any cute drawings since I can't draw anymore, for the time being...Somewhat afraid I might not ever be able to draw again...


I hope everyone else is having happy holidays, merry Christmas, and a good 2024 ahead...