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How do I overcome anhedonia?
2 years ago
The primary way that my depression manifests is anhedonia, a diminished ability (or inability) to feel pleasure.
Because my brain doesn't register a "reward" for most things, it's very difficult to focus and complete tasks.
Most people are able to seek solace and relief from the difficulties of life through socializing, sex, TV, movies, games, or hobbies. I can't. The vast majority of the time, there is nothing I look forward to, or want to do. I just kind of exist. I have a deeply unhealthy relationship with food because it's just about the only thing that can give me a small dose of happy chemicals, but those pleasures are fleeting and shallow.
After some extremely painful life events that occurred between 2020-2022 (which I have spoken about here before), life looks and feels bleaker than ever. I look at my sweet new puppy, and feel nothing. I look at the new custom fursuit of Summer that I've wanted since I was a teen, and feel nothing.
If your life has been like this: How did you get out of it?
Because my brain doesn't register a "reward" for most things, it's very difficult to focus and complete tasks.
Most people are able to seek solace and relief from the difficulties of life through socializing, sex, TV, movies, games, or hobbies. I can't. The vast majority of the time, there is nothing I look forward to, or want to do. I just kind of exist. I have a deeply unhealthy relationship with food because it's just about the only thing that can give me a small dose of happy chemicals, but those pleasures are fleeting and shallow.
After some extremely painful life events that occurred between 2020-2022 (which I have spoken about here before), life looks and feels bleaker than ever. I look at my sweet new puppy, and feel nothing. I look at the new custom fursuit of Summer that I've wanted since I was a teen, and feel nothing.
If your life has been like this: How did you get out of it?
I'm mostly numb, and the feelings I do find myself having are extremely complicated and confusing.
My thoughts are based first and foremost on logical, calculated conclusions. It's very difficult to feel anything at
all sometimes.
I always hated that. I hated being called heartless, or rather I hated that I felt nothing for being called heartless, cold, however
you swing it. For me, I looked inward. It's too late to fight these demons, so I've made peace with them. I know they're there. I
know healing takes time. I know some things may never go away. I know I may never be the same ever again. And honestly? That's
okay. Uncertainty is okay.
TL;DR: it may be best to look inward and learn to not look for rewards or gratification, rather more for peace. These things take time.