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New Years Resolution
2 years ago
General
My New Years resolution is that I officially give up, and am going to be moving back in with my parents. I feel like this is the third or fourth time I've posted this journal, but it's for real this time as I cannot continue to live like this. I was promised a break this weekend as my roommate and his wife were planning a road trip down to a ghost town with their dog before the years end. Allowing me a chance at some much needed rest, peace and quiet so I could focus on finishing up some commissions and 2023 art right before we roll into 2024. But instead of doing what they said they were going to, for whatever reason they decide to just argue with each other until 5am. They slept in until 1pm, and soon as they were awake, it was right back to screaming and yelling at each other. Like, "Yawn! Oh what a lovely morning. Now where were we? Oh yes, that's right! We were screaming at each other! FUCK YOU!!" Meanwhile, I was barricaded in my room like I'm a fucking teenager while Mommy and Daddy are fighting.
After being talked out of suicide for what feels like the tenth time by my Mom. She finally convinced me that I have nothing to prove by living like this and that I need to move back in. I mean holy shit, she lived with her mom until she died in her late 60s. But she's not going to force me to do anything I don't want to do. The only thing from keeping me from going back is my Dad, who is regrettably still in the picture. But at this point, he really seems like the lesser of 2 evils. And I can always just ignore or not talk to him. So my mind is finally made up. I'm crawling back home. January will be my final month here for sure. I'm going to TRY to have a good New Years Eve, and then begin packing up all my shit. The main reason I moved here in the first place was to escape a toxic relationship with my dad and to experience being out on my own. All that I've learned from this is that I'm always fucking broke and sad and lonely and feel even less love then I already did. Which has officially fallen into the negatives.
The grass is not greener on the other side. It's just a different kind of fucking grass....
Happy 2024!
After being talked out of suicide for what feels like the tenth time by my Mom. She finally convinced me that I have nothing to prove by living like this and that I need to move back in. I mean holy shit, she lived with her mom until she died in her late 60s. But she's not going to force me to do anything I don't want to do. The only thing from keeping me from going back is my Dad, who is regrettably still in the picture. But at this point, he really seems like the lesser of 2 evils. And I can always just ignore or not talk to him. So my mind is finally made up. I'm crawling back home. January will be my final month here for sure. I'm going to TRY to have a good New Years Eve, and then begin packing up all my shit. The main reason I moved here in the first place was to escape a toxic relationship with my dad and to experience being out on my own. All that I've learned from this is that I'm always fucking broke and sad and lonely and feel even less love then I already did. Which has officially fallen into the negatives.
The grass is not greener on the other side. It's just a different kind of fucking grass....
Happy 2024!
Unless you meant that his roommates and his dad will eventually get what they deserve based on karma.... and if that's the case... Fair enough.
A wise man once said said, "Life sucks and then you die."
That's at least one big plus !
I have some other stuff to say but I should do it in DMs
I'd say just try to make the most of it as an opportunity to save up some money and angle for another place to move. Try to minimize the conflict with your dad.