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Problem with a story
2 years ago
I've been working on a new story. Relatively simple compared to most of what I've been writing lately.
Outline: Rosa wants to get fucked and hanged. She gets into an argument with the clerk at the Execution Center and ends up seeing the Warden. She convinces him that she's not depressed or anything like that. She expects to get a "super orgasm" from it.
After a short wait, a hangman comes out and escorts her to an execution room. He has her strip and lean against the wall, then fucks her doggy-style. She cums twice
I just about have her noosed up, when my internal story-teller, says, "That's too simple. You need to add a little extra."
Okay: the hangman pulls out before he cums in her. She objects. She wants to finish him with her mouth.
But he doesn't want to cum because he has another client in two hours. That client is supposed to get fucked in the ass and then hanged.
And here's where I end up arguing with myself:
On side says, "She's being deprived of getting to feel him cum in her. Unfair! And it slows down the story too much.
The other side says, "Just letting him fuck her and hang her makes it too simple."
Too simple? It's already 2,280 words long. That's more than my 2,000 word target.
I hate to give up on that extra customer. Granted, it won't please the readers who only want female victims. And yet, it feels right somehow. The extra client is a serial killer: he's been grabbing young men off the streets, ass-raping them, then hanging them. So it's only fair that he should get to experience the same thing.
Besides, he'll cum while being fucked, and it will bring out the realization that he's actually gay, and he's been doing this because he actually wants to get fucked.
What do you think?
Option A: finish inside her, take her up the stairs, put the noose around her neck, and drop her.
Option B: deny her that last bit of pleasure: just take her upstairs and hang her.
Either way, she gets to experience hanging and that "super-orgasm" she' wanted.
What do you think?
Outline: Rosa wants to get fucked and hanged. She gets into an argument with the clerk at the Execution Center and ends up seeing the Warden. She convinces him that she's not depressed or anything like that. She expects to get a "super orgasm" from it.
After a short wait, a hangman comes out and escorts her to an execution room. He has her strip and lean against the wall, then fucks her doggy-style. She cums twice
I just about have her noosed up, when my internal story-teller, says, "That's too simple. You need to add a little extra."
Okay: the hangman pulls out before he cums in her. She objects. She wants to finish him with her mouth.
But he doesn't want to cum because he has another client in two hours. That client is supposed to get fucked in the ass and then hanged.
And here's where I end up arguing with myself:
On side says, "She's being deprived of getting to feel him cum in her. Unfair! And it slows down the story too much.
The other side says, "Just letting him fuck her and hang her makes it too simple."
Too simple? It's already 2,280 words long. That's more than my 2,000 word target.
I hate to give up on that extra customer. Granted, it won't please the readers who only want female victims. And yet, it feels right somehow. The extra client is a serial killer: he's been grabbing young men off the streets, ass-raping them, then hanging them. So it's only fair that he should get to experience the same thing.
Besides, he'll cum while being fucked, and it will bring out the realization that he's actually gay, and he's been doing this because he actually wants to get fucked.
What do you think?
Option A: finish inside her, take her up the stairs, put the noose around her neck, and drop her.
Option B: deny her that last bit of pleasure: just take her upstairs and hang her.
Either way, she gets to experience hanging and that "super-orgasm" she' wanted.
What do you think?
This next one is a M/M rape and then a hanging. Followed (if I can manage it) by three slaves sent by their master to be terminated. They have no objection, but they do negotiate a small change in the arrangements to better fit their own needs.
Well... We'll see how it actually comes out.