So I've been quiet, thanks for letting me know bc I definitely haven't been haunted by the fear of losing my pointless internet relevance night after night, but if I can be a little honest and vulnerable for a second, here's some stuff in my brain rn:

In my last journal I chronicled how busy I was thanks to moving, and I would like to update that I am very settled into my new apartment now. I didn't get that bakery job I mentioned, but I got a different job that pays better and I feel more knowledgeable and passionate about, which is poggers-- i mean skibidi toilet or whatever the kids say nowadays. Only thing is that that job takes up a lot more of my free time and I haven't been able to draw very often. I'm steadily pushing myself to draw more even on days when I am out working and running errands, but also, uh, burnout.

I've felt burnout before, but not really like I am now. It's more like instead of having caught on fire and burned to ashes, my motor is just smoking, but it won't stop. I've been lacking in artistic inspiration and drive to draw things that go beyond my own whims, but let's be real, I have hardly ever drawn anything outside of my own whims. And I really think I'm starting to see a pattern here.

In 2022, I had an art resolution to draw my (old) sona at least once a month, and then I crashed and burned in December by falling out of love with him and completely overhauling my design to something entirely new. In 2023, my art resolution was to host monthly adopts for designs that I've drawn but never developed further into ocs, but then by December I was kind of all out of ideas and no longer felt the creative pleasure of character design.
SO, in 2024, I'm deciding that I'm gonna chill out a bit, and draw things that I don't feel any pressure about at all. No resolution I feel responsible for that will make me sick of my own ocs or artistic style, I'm just gonna go with the flow, flow like the wind, blow like the job. I know I already mentioned before that I never really draw things that I don't already feel an intense need to draw, but now I'm... doubling down on being lazy.

Is that the crux of this whole update, that I'm now becoming a less productive artist? Sure, whatever, this is a hobby anyways, and also I happen to be the villain in the story of life, so if you feel negatively towards me taking it easy and posting more sparsely then I'm winning. Please leave a comment to let me know that I am making your day worse with this news and that I'm doing a great job at being evil.

BUT, let it be known that even if I'm not posting as often as usual, I am still drawing in some shape or form, and hopefully what little things I do post wind up being way better quality than the things I feel rushed and pressured to pump out. I'm actually writing this damn treatise as a way of procrastinating on a bit of art I'll be posting mid-February, I just hate line art.

This journal is already way longer than I meant for it to be lmao.
TL;DR: I'm working on finding time to draw, I'm a little burnt out, focusing on making art that I feel particularly inspired to do again, expect something cute this February. Ty, gn, xoxo... follow my socials bc im gonna try to make a habit of posting my unfinished doodles there again