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Struggles
2 years ago
General
Man, I'm sorry that even though I'm trying, I'm STILL not that consistent with my art, 'specially with my Patreon that I haven't updated in a bit.
I'm trying. I really am.
But man. My PTSD is acting up something fierce. A lot of people think post traumatic stress is something trigged by fireworks and loud noises and the such but.
Tonight ? What triggered it to start acting up because I heard someone say the same name one of my abusers had and things just started to flood back.
I was looking forward to working on some art, but now I'm kind of just sitting here, wanting to cry and/or chew a chunk of flesh out of my wrist just to stop the stress vibrating in the marrow of my bones.
I'll be fine in the end, I'm not going to do anything stupid.
But man. It's a vicious cycle - i feel bad I can't do art tonight because I already feel bad, which makes me feel even worse, which keeps me from feeling better, which keeps me from doing art.
I'm trying. I really am.
But man. My PTSD is acting up something fierce. A lot of people think post traumatic stress is something trigged by fireworks and loud noises and the such but.
Tonight ? What triggered it to start acting up because I heard someone say the same name one of my abusers had and things just started to flood back.
I was looking forward to working on some art, but now I'm kind of just sitting here, wanting to cry and/or chew a chunk of flesh out of my wrist just to stop the stress vibrating in the marrow of my bones.
I'll be fine in the end, I'm not going to do anything stupid.
But man. It's a vicious cycle - i feel bad I can't do art tonight because I already feel bad, which makes me feel even worse, which keeps me from feeling better, which keeps me from doing art.
