Blegh, never liked doing this since I should only be providing to you guys, not so much dossing you all with my bad vibes, though I suppose I just want to air out some stuff before I get a bit loopy, and I've noticed it's starting to affect my productivity fairly hard for both commissions and personal arts, which will need some addressing for sure.

My main issue, is I just feel isolated on here and in the community in general. I used to hang around in a small group of art pals, and was able to learn and grow, and just keep my finger on the pulse of the community. Now, the only person I've kept in contact regularly with there spends more time in another medium, and I haven't really found another group of likeminded weirdos I fully vibe with the same way in the TF space. This is obviously more of a 'me' issue of course, though it'd take some time.
There is another group that has welcomed me with welcome arms, and I'm very thankful for it, though I shall confess here it's around a theme I've a partial interest in art wise, so my activity there has been fairly loosey loose.

Another I've noticed is I tend to be overly wary of commissioners to the point of not posting stuff unless it's someone I trust closely. which has been very misguided on my end, and I think I've just nailed this one down to still not fully getting over one of my early commissioners, who started pleasant, and turned into an incredibly toxic and misguided person lashing out at friends of mine, and before I noticed too late, they were at my throat. I still apologise to friends who were targetted by this person. Also one of the reasons my discord server is still invite only and I dodge fresh friends trying to join, though I can't keep the walls up around myself forever.

This last one is more of a me thing, and I'm not sure I've talked about it publicly before, though from a young age I've was officially diagnosed ASD, and though have done a lot of work to improve myself, it still can lead to me being a bit of a dipshit in social situations or not being able to read the room if I've only just met. I do not wish for folk to change their approach to me due to this, just bear that in mind and be patient with me sometimes. Especially in group voice chats, I've got a very regional accent and I've noticed I'm the english final boss for folk who have it as a second language, due to that and talking weird.

I'm not sure this will be the last, but I hope it will be, just some online troubles to get off the chest, though sadly no personal issues to really tell you guys yet :v.

All in all though, I thank the folk who have stuck around so much, especially the ones that helped me go from MSPaint tier art to the somewhat legible stuff I have going today. I'm very grateful to you guys, especially the ones that have let me keep going with this silly stuff I'm doing here.


TLDR; Am a bit of a quiet, isolated and overly noided pile of blue and I shall work on these traits so they don't effect my creative flow