Before I get started with work-stuff today, I wanted to post this as an apology journal. Some of it is worth apologizing for, some of it is me needing to talk about stuff and explain, but I’m just shoving it all under the heading of ‘apology.’ Feel free to correct me in the comments if you want, heh.

I’ve been going through a lot of ups and downs with work and with most everything else in my life of late. My posting has gone out the window in so many ways, and I’ve struggled to keep up with a lot of the stuff that I used to do. There’s reasons for that, some of them good, some of them less good, but the main point I want to make is that I am trying. Sometimes, I succeed, and the successes are starting to get more numerous than the failures again. For those of you that have hung around through that – and a lot of you have – thank you. Thank you for having faith in me to work through my problems, and for those that have reached out and helped, thank you, too. It’s meant the world to me to know that my work has inspired this much faith and friendship, and I still don’t have the words to say how much that means to me.

Over the past year, I’ve been sorting through a lot of things. From my mom’s death a year and two days ago to moving out into my own place, from going through my past and realizing the low-level neglect and emotional abuse I went through (and my own collaboration with it) to the appreciation of what survived and put itself together through that, from realizing my own ace nature to finding ways to express it while still enjoying my work, it’s…been a year. It’s been a huge year.

But part of sorting through all of that has meant taking time away from working here and there, or working less well, or less often. I’ve gone from a survival schedule to something else, and the something else isn’t quite working. Emotional surges and swells from all the stuff still processing in my head, and all the new things to worry about, keep throwing me off my game, and it takes me a little while to get back to it.

I’m aware that this is reading like a lot of excuses, so I’m going to stop there with all that. I’ll just get back to the topic at hand.

I’m sorry for the disruption to what used to be a very reliable schedule. I’m taking steps towards getting back on track with that, including:

-Daily minimums of work
-Focusing on one-day-off a week to try and build up good times there, rather than feeling pressed to find break times every day
-Better scheduling
-More communication

When I fall down on this, please call me on it. I have slipped and not been great about things in the past, and I want to make sure that I remain one of the reliable people.

Thank you for your patience over this year, and thanks for your continued faith in me being able to make you good stuff. I hope I can keep fulfilling that for years to come.