For the many artists I follow, I try to leave some sort of comment either about the appearance of the pic they post, or the character, or a witty line regarding them or the situation so that I can engage with the artist. Some of you who I am friends with might have noticed I’ve been a lot more quiet in that front, only opting to fave a pic and not say anything else. I wanted to give an explanation for that.

Last May I left a job that I loved because of a major shift that was happening with the management, like a security blanket was going to be ripped out of my hands before I was ready. Starting on the day I walked out, something shifted in my mind. I became a lot more depressed, anxious, and reclusive. I had applied for other jobs and even signed on with a couple, but I never stayed past a week’s worth of workdays because they were either understimulating to where I was bored as heck, or overstimulating to where I actually fainted.

This inability to find a steady source of income and be like everyone else has made me very depressed and my self-worth has basically bottomed-out. Fewer and fewer things have moved me to act, and I feel like even typing out a comment is either too much work to find something meaningful to say, or others will see me as just trying to force myself into a convo.

A couple weeks ago I underwent neuro-psychological testing. I had done it because over the last few years, between discussions with friends and loved ones, as well as my own research of common behaviors that autistic people exhibit, I found a rather connecting thread that needed to be investigated. I should have my results in the next few weeks, hopefully. Whether I do get confirmation of being on the spectrum or if that is ruled out, I hope all of you won’t see me as any different from the fun-loving, sometimes kinky mouse you all have gotten to know over the years, and that you’ll forgive me for being so quiet while I fight these demons that lurk inside my own head.