FA+
Shop
[VENT POST] The situation my sister and I are in
a year ago
I'm putting this on here because I need to vent and I'd rather do it here than a place like Twitter or Facebook.
My sister and I are not in a good place right now.
We still live at home, our father is doing at home kidney dialysis and he has us has his caretakers. I'm not going to go into too much detail about his health, other than we know he's is slowly deteriorating day by day. My sister is 23 and I'm 26, she put her education on hold and I put my life on hold to take care of our father. I want out, and I know she does to, but she won't outright say it due to our family being the type that berates one member for not doing what the majority of the family wants.
My father has been dialysis for 2 years now, only last May he decided to do his treatment at home. He asked my two sisters and I to help him and we agreed, not thinking much of it, he's our father, why wouldn't we help him in his time of need?
Our older sister backed out, family reasons she said.
Now almost 8 months of home treatment, my lil sis and I are realizing the toll it's taking on us. My sis and I have the ability to leave when either one of us want, but I would never leave my sister to take care of our father alone, and she wouldn't do that to me either. On top of this, we have 3 older siblings, 2 out of the 3 who won't help out because they have families and children to take care of, so 'naturally' its on us to care for our father.
Hes been on the transplant list for 3 years now through 2 different hospitals. But recently, he had asked my sister and I for one of our kidneys. We consulted each other about our decision and came to the conclusion that we won't answer unless he asks our older siblings first, and he hit us with that he's afraid to ask them. We know this was a selfish answer, but we were upset that he had the audacity to ask the only two children of his taking care of him to give up a kidney for him. We want the life our siblings have been given the opportunity to live; to go out, find our purpose, meet new people and maybe start a family of our own. The truth is, the key to our freedom and putting our lives on track is for one of us to give up a kidney and live a half life.
Our older sister and her fiance said they are willing to get themselves tested to see if they're a match for him, but of course, our father said he wouldn't do that to her because she has a son and is worried about how having one kidney would affect her ability to have future kids. It threw us for a loop, explaining we would have her back if she needed a kidney in the future, but he's out right refusing her kidney.
I'm just so tired. I work a fulltime job plus a part time job thats an hour away (im basically working 2 fulltime jobs due to the driving), so my sister does dialysis during the weekdays. The weekends are mine time to help out father with his treatment. We're stuck and we don't know what to do. We're not sure how long we can keep this up
~Ayz/Bill~
My sister and I are not in a good place right now.
We still live at home, our father is doing at home kidney dialysis and he has us has his caretakers. I'm not going to go into too much detail about his health, other than we know he's is slowly deteriorating day by day. My sister is 23 and I'm 26, she put her education on hold and I put my life on hold to take care of our father. I want out, and I know she does to, but she won't outright say it due to our family being the type that berates one member for not doing what the majority of the family wants.
My father has been dialysis for 2 years now, only last May he decided to do his treatment at home. He asked my two sisters and I to help him and we agreed, not thinking much of it, he's our father, why wouldn't we help him in his time of need?
Our older sister backed out, family reasons she said.
Now almost 8 months of home treatment, my lil sis and I are realizing the toll it's taking on us. My sis and I have the ability to leave when either one of us want, but I would never leave my sister to take care of our father alone, and she wouldn't do that to me either. On top of this, we have 3 older siblings, 2 out of the 3 who won't help out because they have families and children to take care of, so 'naturally' its on us to care for our father.
Hes been on the transplant list for 3 years now through 2 different hospitals. But recently, he had asked my sister and I for one of our kidneys. We consulted each other about our decision and came to the conclusion that we won't answer unless he asks our older siblings first, and he hit us with that he's afraid to ask them. We know this was a selfish answer, but we were upset that he had the audacity to ask the only two children of his taking care of him to give up a kidney for him. We want the life our siblings have been given the opportunity to live; to go out, find our purpose, meet new people and maybe start a family of our own. The truth is, the key to our freedom and putting our lives on track is for one of us to give up a kidney and live a half life.
Our older sister and her fiance said they are willing to get themselves tested to see if they're a match for him, but of course, our father said he wouldn't do that to her because she has a son and is worried about how having one kidney would affect her ability to have future kids. It threw us for a loop, explaining we would have her back if she needed a kidney in the future, but he's out right refusing her kidney.
I'm just so tired. I work a fulltime job plus a part time job thats an hour away (im basically working 2 fulltime jobs due to the driving), so my sister does dialysis during the weekdays. The weekends are mine time to help out father with his treatment. We're stuck and we don't know what to do. We're not sure how long we can keep this up
~Ayz/Bill~
Serath Kazaan
~inderezzed
My immediate response, knowing myself full well enough to have family who would do such a thing as well, would've then been "if you're too afraid to ask them, then my answer will be 'no' until further notice. As soon as you have brought yourself up to asking all three of them for a possible transplant, then I will reconsider my answer." This answer will hurt both you and them, but the fact is that the distance between yourself and the truth will be painful, especially in this case, your father.
