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Trying to be active again
a year ago
Wanting to Write Again
I've been in and out of the furry community for a long time, since I was in middle school (which certainly has some concerns). I've always hung out, commissioned, interacted, but never really created, save for a single chapter in a story that I never motivated myself to continue writing.
That being said, writing is a passion of mine, and I would love write a longer story that I'm really proud of. After a long time having not written anything, I think it's about time for me to try my hand at it again, both as a way to express a neglected hobby and a way to try and correct my motivational issues.
As for the story I plan to write, all I know is that I want it to have a real meaning and impact; I don't want it to be a regular overarching plot with a character who's basically along for the ride. I want my characters to feel alive, to feel like there's a drive and a purpose behind everything that they do, and to put them in situations where those things are challenged. But most of all, I want them to be characters that others can identify with and find a similar purpose and struggle in.
I know that's big talk from little me, but I genuinely mean it, and I intend to look into any comments on the uploads (New and old) to see what people do and don't like, to better perfect my story.
For the few who read and liked my old story
The old story will have to be scrapped; I don't know what I was initially intending to write about, and I don't have a passion nor interest in the story it's setting up. Most importantly, though, the main character (My main fursona) has morphed drastically since then in many ways, including but not limited to personality, skills, function, and especially how I view her as a representation of myself. I can't see myself writing a story about a character that behaves nothing like the current vision.
Honesty and my place in the Community (Can be ignored if you're just here for my writing details)
I've always been sort of in and out of the community at large for several reasons. Many of the discord servers I joined were choked up with drama, and sometimes the smaller groups would turn out to have some not so great dynamics. But by far the biggest reason has been myself.
I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, and while I have no reason to really bring it up it what's supposed to be a "I want to be active again" journal, I think it's important for people to understand going forward that I'm not the greatest of people, and I won't pretend to be. For all of the things I've done, by far the worst was back around October-November, and it shocked me straight out of the community for fear of consequences and for shame of myself.
Since then, I've made it a point to be more mindful of who I am and what I'm doing, and to understand that I'm not a teenager hanging out with teenagers anymore; I'm an adult now, and my words hold more weight, and my actions have more meaning. I can't write off my mistakes as youthful misunderstandings. I have to actually think and learn from the past. And I think that so far, I've done a pretty good job with all of that.
All of this to say one thing about my place in the community - I will NOT be a part of any large groups or join any smaller communities. I have no confidence yet that I've truly learned from the past, and I don't want to risk making the mistakes I've made before. I don't believe I'll ever have that confidence again. I may be willing to befriend individuals, but no more than that.
What to look forward to
In the interest of ending on a good note, I'll talk a little bit about what to expect in the future.
I want to write a story chapter by chapter, for a long period of time. Every time I finish what I consider to be a full arc, I want to take a large break from writing to enjoy real life and spend time with the people around me.
Eventually, I would like to open up to writing stories for other people as a sort of commission thing. I haven't looked into it, so I don't know if other people also do this kind of work, but I'm hoping it'll be a welcome service to the larger community.
Lastly, once I figure out what the hell went wrong with my cable for my drawing screen, I'd like to use my (admittedly untalented) drawing skills to make short little comics about the sillier things in the world of my story.
That's a lot to put on my plate considering that this is supposed to train my motivational skills, but those are the things I would like to try my hand at. Thank you for taking time out of your day for me I will now go plan my opening act
I've been in and out of the furry community for a long time, since I was in middle school (which certainly has some concerns). I've always hung out, commissioned, interacted, but never really created, save for a single chapter in a story that I never motivated myself to continue writing.
That being said, writing is a passion of mine, and I would love write a longer story that I'm really proud of. After a long time having not written anything, I think it's about time for me to try my hand at it again, both as a way to express a neglected hobby and a way to try and correct my motivational issues.
As for the story I plan to write, all I know is that I want it to have a real meaning and impact; I don't want it to be a regular overarching plot with a character who's basically along for the ride. I want my characters to feel alive, to feel like there's a drive and a purpose behind everything that they do, and to put them in situations where those things are challenged. But most of all, I want them to be characters that others can identify with and find a similar purpose and struggle in.
I know that's big talk from little me, but I genuinely mean it, and I intend to look into any comments on the uploads (New and old) to see what people do and don't like, to better perfect my story.
For the few who read and liked my old story
The old story will have to be scrapped; I don't know what I was initially intending to write about, and I don't have a passion nor interest in the story it's setting up. Most importantly, though, the main character (My main fursona) has morphed drastically since then in many ways, including but not limited to personality, skills, function, and especially how I view her as a representation of myself. I can't see myself writing a story about a character that behaves nothing like the current vision.
Honesty and my place in the Community (Can be ignored if you're just here for my writing details)
I've always been sort of in and out of the community at large for several reasons. Many of the discord servers I joined were choked up with drama, and sometimes the smaller groups would turn out to have some not so great dynamics. But by far the biggest reason has been myself.
I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, and while I have no reason to really bring it up it what's supposed to be a "I want to be active again" journal, I think it's important for people to understand going forward that I'm not the greatest of people, and I won't pretend to be. For all of the things I've done, by far the worst was back around October-November, and it shocked me straight out of the community for fear of consequences and for shame of myself.
Since then, I've made it a point to be more mindful of who I am and what I'm doing, and to understand that I'm not a teenager hanging out with teenagers anymore; I'm an adult now, and my words hold more weight, and my actions have more meaning. I can't write off my mistakes as youthful misunderstandings. I have to actually think and learn from the past. And I think that so far, I've done a pretty good job with all of that.
All of this to say one thing about my place in the community - I will NOT be a part of any large groups or join any smaller communities. I have no confidence yet that I've truly learned from the past, and I don't want to risk making the mistakes I've made before. I don't believe I'll ever have that confidence again. I may be willing to befriend individuals, but no more than that.
What to look forward to
In the interest of ending on a good note, I'll talk a little bit about what to expect in the future.
I want to write a story chapter by chapter, for a long period of time. Every time I finish what I consider to be a full arc, I want to take a large break from writing to enjoy real life and spend time with the people around me.
Eventually, I would like to open up to writing stories for other people as a sort of commission thing. I haven't looked into it, so I don't know if other people also do this kind of work, but I'm hoping it'll be a welcome service to the larger community.
Lastly, once I figure out what the hell went wrong with my cable for my drawing screen, I'd like to use my (admittedly untalented) drawing skills to make short little comics about the sillier things in the world of my story.
That's a lot to put on my plate considering that this is supposed to train my motivational skills, but those are the things I would like to try my hand at. Thank you for taking time out of your day for me I will now go plan my opening act
