Plain and simple, I'm not doing well mentally due to having been forcefully removed as the friend of a person I consider to be the best friend I've ever had.

It speaks upon my failures of a friend, and the fact this has happened before with others I considered my friends within these last 4 years of my depression, have made me come to rethink whether or not I am actually able to be friends with people.

I've never had many friends growing up, and got used to it. My eyes were opened with friendship, and I strove to be the best friend I could be. However, my issues kept making me stumble. Hurt my friends. And they've decided, multiple times through my life on different occasions, that I simply, inexplicably, was not worth it.

Now I see it for myself. I'm being taught that I'm not a good friend. I'm a manipulator. Regardless of how kind I am and how 'fun' it can be to know me, I'll still end up having an uncontrollable mental episode, which clouds my judgement heavily, makes me act out aggressively, and then within the span of a few days, return to my previous state. That is unacceptable.

I am unacceptable.

Ships sail.