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THANKS + Hard days ahead
a year ago
Thank you all for your love and care in this difficult time.
I'm afraid, confused and extremely sad, she was my best friend and that's hard to find that in a parent.
I have the sensation now that te once close to us dislike me because I'm not blood, what's does this mean?
My mom adopted me so yes I'm not biological.
Every interaction I had was push by my mom trying to keep her loves ones united.
Part of a big Italian family we seems very close but with me it was awkward and feel very tense in their presence, I'm very worry on how my godmother is going to approach me now that my mom is gone, my BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder witch I was trying to burry in the ground because I was ashamed but now I try to face it and control it as much as possible) fears are getting amplify I'm glad mom got me a lawyer she trust in to give him a call for all of this, she sense the last weeks her health was declining so she left some orders to caretakers that she knew, they need to keep an eye on me for my mental sanity.
It's hard to be open to people that can't understand you need more caring because your health is fragile, they look at you as a weak individual, I have to know not all people understand things they can't not see, to let then be and not engage on explanations.
I remember when one of my friends write in Facebook "But the depression she had it already for a long time" as an excuse for the bulling they engage online, mental illness are complex, you can be on medications and go better or worse, a lot of consultations and research till you have another treatment that works.
Also all my issues overlaps Autism, C-PTSD, BPD, Depression and Anxiety only takes a bad frame of mind and some words and right there an irrational though to push me to the edge. I appreciate my mom for her last moments to think of me and love for who I am.
Sounds silly but as an adoptive child I know my destiny could be horrible and I want to love everyone the way she loves, I've being hearing beautiful stories from her friends of the way she use to treat them, a place to stay, a hand to grab, a shoulder to cry.
A mother who what's to be a Mom
I'm afraid, confused and extremely sad, she was my best friend and that's hard to find that in a parent.
I have the sensation now that te once close to us dislike me because I'm not blood, what's does this mean?
My mom adopted me so yes I'm not biological.
Every interaction I had was push by my mom trying to keep her loves ones united.
Part of a big Italian family we seems very close but with me it was awkward and feel very tense in their presence, I'm very worry on how my godmother is going to approach me now that my mom is gone, my BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder witch I was trying to burry in the ground because I was ashamed but now I try to face it and control it as much as possible) fears are getting amplify I'm glad mom got me a lawyer she trust in to give him a call for all of this, she sense the last weeks her health was declining so she left some orders to caretakers that she knew, they need to keep an eye on me for my mental sanity.
It's hard to be open to people that can't understand you need more caring because your health is fragile, they look at you as a weak individual, I have to know not all people understand things they can't not see, to let then be and not engage on explanations.
I remember when one of my friends write in Facebook "But the depression she had it already for a long time" as an excuse for the bulling they engage online, mental illness are complex, you can be on medications and go better or worse, a lot of consultations and research till you have another treatment that works.
Also all my issues overlaps Autism, C-PTSD, BPD, Depression and Anxiety only takes a bad frame of mind and some words and right there an irrational though to push me to the edge. I appreciate my mom for her last moments to think of me and love for who I am.
Sounds silly but as an adoptive child I know my destiny could be horrible and I want to love everyone the way she loves, I've being hearing beautiful stories from her friends of the way she use to treat them, a place to stay, a hand to grab, a shoulder to cry.
A mother who what's to be a Mom
