FA+
Shop
FINALS WEEK: YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD
16 years ago
Or when you pass out from sheer exhaustion, whichever comes first. Amusingly, I had a dream about the Undying Lands last night (this morning?). All I remember are thousands of Elves, a handful of Hobbitses, and one game old dwarf. BAD BRAIN, ZIA. BAD BRAIN. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED THE LotR LONGING UNTIL AFTER FINALS ARE OVER. No, it's entirely your fault for not thinking of writing a paper on the films for Adaptation class until now, you idiot. You're stuck showing stilted, almost-softcore to your classmates on Thursday. You love it, you know. Er.../self-discussion?
Speaking of hellaciousness, here's the answer to the question of "Two modern sins (or crimes) for Dante's Inferno. In which circle would you put the sin/crime, or would you create a new circle for it? What is the punishment?" to the best of my remembrance:
"Mores have grown and changed in the centuries since Dante Aligerhi’s time. For one, homosexuals (in a civilized and loving modern world view) are not committing crimes against God or nature, and that circle should be yanked out of existence. Let them be judged for their actual sins, NOT for being as they were made.
Anyway, new/modern sins:
A modern sin deserving of its own circle is the Twilight fandom. Just the Twilight fandom in general. But for our purposes, it fits nicely into the Sixth Circle: Heresy. (I always thought the 6th Circle needed a little fleshing out.) Twilight is heresy against the written word and literature in general. As it is not God’s Word, but just man’s Art, they don’t fall into lower circles. They do, however, comprise their own round of the sixth circle, where they will tear eachother apart for eternity. Any other horrible writers, desecraters of written myth, composers of horrendous poppy songs and/or Christian rock who do not improve in life and have not committed the greater crimes of the 7th-9th circles are also thrown into the Round of Twilight, where they will be forced to endure the pained and enraged screams of the Fangirls.
Another addition to Hell, is its Highways, which will no longer be paved with good intentions, but frozen slabs comprised of compacted door-to-door salesmen, telemarketers, tele-evangelists, the narrators for infomercials, and the guys who program pop-up advertisements and spam emails. The littlest demons will skate on these in the warmer months. This is a limited time offer, of course. They’ll thaw out after 300 years, at which time they will be led to their other punishments, or fobbed off to Purgatory where they will work menial retail jobs to earn their place in Heaven."
My professor laughed, so I guess I'm good. I made up the answers to the rest of the test anyway, based on what I remembered of the works from when I was ten. (I have harder tests/presentations/final essays to study for.) I cannot for the life of me remember where the line "Contrary to popular belief, the Road to Hell is not paved with good intentions, but with frozen door-to-door salesmen. The younger demons like to skate on them in the winter." is from. I think I read it in a footnote somewhere, but I don't think it was in the most likely candidates proper (Good Omens or HHG2G), but rather one of their fanfics...
Speaking of hellaciousness, here's the answer to the question of "Two modern sins (or crimes) for Dante's Inferno. In which circle would you put the sin/crime, or would you create a new circle for it? What is the punishment?" to the best of my remembrance:
"Mores have grown and changed in the centuries since Dante Aligerhi’s time. For one, homosexuals (in a civilized and loving modern world view) are not committing crimes against God or nature, and that circle should be yanked out of existence. Let them be judged for their actual sins, NOT for being as they were made.
Anyway, new/modern sins:
A modern sin deserving of its own circle is the Twilight fandom. Just the Twilight fandom in general. But for our purposes, it fits nicely into the Sixth Circle: Heresy. (I always thought the 6th Circle needed a little fleshing out.) Twilight is heresy against the written word and literature in general. As it is not God’s Word, but just man’s Art, they don’t fall into lower circles. They do, however, comprise their own round of the sixth circle, where they will tear eachother apart for eternity. Any other horrible writers, desecraters of written myth, composers of horrendous poppy songs and/or Christian rock who do not improve in life and have not committed the greater crimes of the 7th-9th circles are also thrown into the Round of Twilight, where they will be forced to endure the pained and enraged screams of the Fangirls.
Another addition to Hell, is its Highways, which will no longer be paved with good intentions, but frozen slabs comprised of compacted door-to-door salesmen, telemarketers, tele-evangelists, the narrators for infomercials, and the guys who program pop-up advertisements and spam emails. The littlest demons will skate on these in the warmer months. This is a limited time offer, of course. They’ll thaw out after 300 years, at which time they will be led to their other punishments, or fobbed off to Purgatory where they will work menial retail jobs to earn their place in Heaven."
My professor laughed, so I guess I'm good. I made up the answers to the rest of the test anyway, based on what I remembered of the works from when I was ten. (I have harder tests/presentations/final essays to study for.) I cannot for the life of me remember where the line "Contrary to popular belief, the Road to Hell is not paved with good intentions, but with frozen door-to-door salesmen. The younger demons like to skate on them in the winter." is from. I think I read it in a footnote somewhere, but I don't think it was in the most likely candidates proper (Good Omens or HHG2G), but rather one of their fanfics...
