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Burnout + new job updates!
a year ago
Kia ora!
I'm just writing in to update since this journal.
Long story short - I had a breakup which derailed me hard, and I couldn't focus on commission work anymore. Things got pretty bad for a while, but it's picking up now. I'm going to bed on time and getting up early, I'm getting back into my hobbies, I'm eating well again, I'm working out regularly. I got into mountain biking and spent a lot of time with friends, then started to enjoy my own company again too. I went on a solo overnight alpine hike over the weekend and it felt so good to feel like myself again.
My gender identity has been a source of stress for me too. I lived as a trans man for 7 years and stopped taking T ~18 months ago, and figuring out who I am if I'm not a guy has been a wild ride. I went through a more feminine phase for a while, and now I am settling into a more tomboyish, masc presentation. I'm slowly learning not to overthink things and just dress how I want, act how I want, and if being a scrappy woman-adjacent creature wearing men's clothes makes me happy then that's fine.
I got a part time job as a community bike mechanic! It's my first "regular," job; I've been exclusively a commission artist for 10 years.
This is only 1-2 shifts per week, and has been immensely beneficial to my mental well being and personal growth. It has given me something to focus on, something to pour energy into, I learn so much every shift. We fix people's bicycles with them, teaching as we go. I'm autistic and this is a great "scripted" environment for me to interact with people, I know exactly what is expected of me and I get to talk about my special interest and get paid for it! And it is such a full-on environment, I feel enjoyment in sitting at my desk to draw now because I can appreciate how relaxing it is by comparison 😅
I am unsure where things are going in the long-term, whether university is still on the cards for me or not. I will see where the mechanic job goes - this might result in a new career path, or perhaps I will learn more about what I enjoy and it'll help me narrow down which degree I want to do. I am also pursuing an assessment for ADHD, but the wait lists are painfully long - ideally I would have this done before university to give me the best chances of actually succeeding. My attention span seriously impeded my last attempt at study and is endlessly frustrating to deal with.
Right now I am focusing on finishing up the last two commissions on my queue, then there's some ref and commission edits to get to.
After that, I will ease into taking new commissions again, but perhaps I will be more selective about what I work on, or start out with YCHs. :)
I would really like to use this opportunity to reinvent myself artistically and draw inspiration from new things, and find real joy in what I work on. This might mean one or two days of the week are dedicated to just upskilling or drawing for "me," rather than doing commission work.
Thanks for reading. I hope to be back into a regular streaming routine again soon. For now it will still be patchy as I get back on my feet. :)
- Jess
I'm just writing in to update since this journal.
Long story short - I had a breakup which derailed me hard, and I couldn't focus on commission work anymore. Things got pretty bad for a while, but it's picking up now. I'm going to bed on time and getting up early, I'm getting back into my hobbies, I'm eating well again, I'm working out regularly. I got into mountain biking and spent a lot of time with friends, then started to enjoy my own company again too. I went on a solo overnight alpine hike over the weekend and it felt so good to feel like myself again.
My gender identity has been a source of stress for me too. I lived as a trans man for 7 years and stopped taking T ~18 months ago, and figuring out who I am if I'm not a guy has been a wild ride. I went through a more feminine phase for a while, and now I am settling into a more tomboyish, masc presentation. I'm slowly learning not to overthink things and just dress how I want, act how I want, and if being a scrappy woman-adjacent creature wearing men's clothes makes me happy then that's fine.
I got a part time job as a community bike mechanic! It's my first "regular," job; I've been exclusively a commission artist for 10 years.
This is only 1-2 shifts per week, and has been immensely beneficial to my mental well being and personal growth. It has given me something to focus on, something to pour energy into, I learn so much every shift. We fix people's bicycles with them, teaching as we go. I'm autistic and this is a great "scripted" environment for me to interact with people, I know exactly what is expected of me and I get to talk about my special interest and get paid for it! And it is such a full-on environment, I feel enjoyment in sitting at my desk to draw now because I can appreciate how relaxing it is by comparison 😅
I am unsure where things are going in the long-term, whether university is still on the cards for me or not. I will see where the mechanic job goes - this might result in a new career path, or perhaps I will learn more about what I enjoy and it'll help me narrow down which degree I want to do. I am also pursuing an assessment for ADHD, but the wait lists are painfully long - ideally I would have this done before university to give me the best chances of actually succeeding. My attention span seriously impeded my last attempt at study and is endlessly frustrating to deal with.
Right now I am focusing on finishing up the last two commissions on my queue, then there's some ref and commission edits to get to.
After that, I will ease into taking new commissions again, but perhaps I will be more selective about what I work on, or start out with YCHs. :)
I would really like to use this opportunity to reinvent myself artistically and draw inspiration from new things, and find real joy in what I work on. This might mean one or two days of the week are dedicated to just upskilling or drawing for "me," rather than doing commission work.
Thanks for reading. I hope to be back into a regular streaming routine again soon. For now it will still be patchy as I get back on my feet. :)
- Jess
You can find my commission information here.
Commission opening notifications --> on Telegram!
Discord server --> right here!
Patreon goodies --> why of course!
Ko-fi tip jar --> ohh you!
I draw with:
Procreate + iPad Pro 
or Clip Studio + Wacom 
Picarto | SFW Twitter | NSFW Twitter
I hope you figure out what your path is! I switched almost exclusively to YCHs at the start of this year and it has been a gamechanger. Not only do I get to choose the content I want to work on but it cuts down the turnaround time drastically since the hardest parts imo are done already (concept and BG), it's been by far my most lucrative year so far due to that and tbh I wish I did it sooner.
I'll just say I would not still be doing comms right now if I didn't make the switch (have had massive burnout for years). I'd love to see what you come up with if you take that road for a while.