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Pour One Out for the Departed...
a year ago
I'm just a video-gaming, smut-writing, foul-mouthing, lazy ass of a scaly~ What can I do for you? I might be one of the biggest lurkers on this site, but I do enjoy seeing all the art and reading sexy comics, while I'm SLIGHTLY getting on board with posting more on here. So, long story short, I kinda keep to myself most of the time, but I'm not rude or disrespectful by any means if someone hits up my notes.
However, despite being on this site for years, I never talked to Dragoneer. Call it my introverted-ness, but speaking to the OWNER of the site sounds hella daunting and intimidating, kinda like a Private talking to a Captain on equal ground. However, from what I gathered from a lot of other people, he was loved and respected and very open to others. Kinda makes me feel guilty that I avoided him over my power bias. (Plus, some rumors about Jason and Kabier didn't help either...but that was a VERY tiny chunk of a much bigger issue that didn't involve him, so moving on)
Seeing him gone doesn't feel real. At first, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I knew of his existence, sure, I knew he was a real person, of course, but...is he legit dead? Not sure if I'm the only one who goes through this kind of cycle: starts with numbing confusion, like, you don't believe what you're seeing or hearing, but your body automatically shuts down into a numb mode to protect itself so you can stay in your "confusion" just a bit longer. Then comes "huh...that happened..." as if you are trying to accept it, but be brave about it, but the level of courage varies on how strong of a bond you have with the deceased, ie your father's second cousin once removed you only met 3 times versus your loyal German Shepard you raised from puppyhood. "Denial" comes next, and this is where the emotions start to kick in: sorrow, anger, fear, guilt, frustration, what-ifs, etc. Your mind races with questions like: "What happened?" "Was there something I could've done?" "Was this my fault?" "Were there signs?!" "Did I have the power to help/stop it?" etc.
It sucks balls, but honestly, this helps remind me that life is precious and fleeting, something I should cherish and not take for granted, even on my off days. I will admit I'm not the most stable of people, so when I lose it, I LOSE it, so it is very hard to remember that the madness and pain that my illnesses wreak havoc on me are only enhanced at the moment and will calm down soon; death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Anyway, back to Dragoneer. I am so sorry the health system failed you and let you suffer. You didn't deserve that. I will not touch on the politics of the issue, but I will say that what happened was cruel, unethical, and goes against the Hippocratic oath. And the ending of your life was the result. The only silver lining I can find is that you are no longer suffering from high fevers, painful muscles, and violent coughing fits. What you left behind was a home for furries to find their voice, find their people, and find their passion. You left behind a legacy. Rest well, knowing you will be remembered for years to come.
Rest in Peace, Dragoneer. Cheers.
However, despite being on this site for years, I never talked to Dragoneer. Call it my introverted-ness, but speaking to the OWNER of the site sounds hella daunting and intimidating, kinda like a Private talking to a Captain on equal ground. However, from what I gathered from a lot of other people, he was loved and respected and very open to others. Kinda makes me feel guilty that I avoided him over my power bias. (Plus, some rumors about Jason and Kabier didn't help either...but that was a VERY tiny chunk of a much bigger issue that didn't involve him, so moving on)
Seeing him gone doesn't feel real. At first, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I knew of his existence, sure, I knew he was a real person, of course, but...is he legit dead? Not sure if I'm the only one who goes through this kind of cycle: starts with numbing confusion, like, you don't believe what you're seeing or hearing, but your body automatically shuts down into a numb mode to protect itself so you can stay in your "confusion" just a bit longer. Then comes "huh...that happened..." as if you are trying to accept it, but be brave about it, but the level of courage varies on how strong of a bond you have with the deceased, ie your father's second cousin once removed you only met 3 times versus your loyal German Shepard you raised from puppyhood. "Denial" comes next, and this is where the emotions start to kick in: sorrow, anger, fear, guilt, frustration, what-ifs, etc. Your mind races with questions like: "What happened?" "Was there something I could've done?" "Was this my fault?" "Were there signs?!" "Did I have the power to help/stop it?" etc.
It sucks balls, but honestly, this helps remind me that life is precious and fleeting, something I should cherish and not take for granted, even on my off days. I will admit I'm not the most stable of people, so when I lose it, I LOSE it, so it is very hard to remember that the madness and pain that my illnesses wreak havoc on me are only enhanced at the moment and will calm down soon; death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Anyway, back to Dragoneer. I am so sorry the health system failed you and let you suffer. You didn't deserve that. I will not touch on the politics of the issue, but I will say that what happened was cruel, unethical, and goes against the Hippocratic oath. And the ending of your life was the result. The only silver lining I can find is that you are no longer suffering from high fevers, painful muscles, and violent coughing fits. What you left behind was a home for furries to find their voice, find their people, and find their passion. You left behind a legacy. Rest well, knowing you will be remembered for years to come.
Rest in Peace, Dragoneer. Cheers.
With a controller in one claw and a pen in the other, headphones blaring to Beast in Black, I'm ready to tackle anything~ 